//harry styles loves emma and they fucked pass it on bbys//
It’s too cold outside for angels to fly…
PROLOGUE - Read for a small description of this fanfic
TRAILER - Watch for a small video trailer
WARNING- This fanfic has been known to make people very sad and cry hysterically and I have been told it needs a warning.
BUT STILL READ IT
(my spelling and grammer isn’t great because sometimes I didn’t have time to check over it when I posted it, but I promise I will go over it soon and edit it all better!)
© Copyright - All Rights Reserved to Emma B (1Dhomos)
I sat in the living room of my cold apartment watching the rain drops hit against the cold glass window then falling swiftly down till the bottom of my window sill. When I was little I would sit there for hours just racing the rain drops on days like this. Today was always going to be a quiet day like it is every year because every year I remember what happened on this day a few years ago - the day my whole life changed completely.
I turned my head and looked away from the window with a large sigh to see my beautiful daughter Rosie sat playing happily with her toy doll without a care in the world. I sometimes wish I could be like her, just have everything in your world completely mad and still be happy and playing with a doll.
‘Mummy I’m hungry!’ She then moaned walking over to me with her arms in the air wanting me to pick her up.
‘Well shall we go see what we have to eat?’ I asked picking her up giving her a warm cuddle before walking towards the kitchen/dining area. It had been just me and Rosie her whole life, we didn’t have anyone else and Rosie knew nobody else.
‘Hmm chocolate and haribos!’ she shouted with a big grin on her face. She seemed to like that mixture, which was weird but oh well I had to agree with her it tasted quite nice.
‘Rosie you have already had 2 bags of Haribos this morning you don’t need any more but we can have some chocolate.’ I said placing her down on the floor while I retrieved the chocolate from the cupboard.
‘Mummy can I ask you something?’ she asked taking the chocolate from my hand, Rosie wasn’t just any 3 year old she was quite smart and cheeky in a way and most of all could always tell when her mummy was upset.
‘Of course sweet.’
‘Why are you upset today? Is it to do with Daddy?’ She asked eating the chocolate messily.
‘Rosie Brown I told you not to worry about me.’ I said tapping her nose lightly making her giggle.
‘Mummy that isn’t my name!’ she protested. It was her name well not the name me and her knew, it was the fake name we tell everyone else, the Brown bit wasn’t my last name either it was from my mums side instead of my dads which is Tomlinson, I had no choice but to change it too Brown if I kept it as Tomlinson people would get suspicious.
‘Sorry I mean Rosie Brown Styles but remember sweet that name is a secret.’ I replied with, yes you might have guessed by now Rosie’s Dad isn’t just any Dad he was one of the five amazing boys adored by thousands of girls he was Harry Styles, the Harry Styles and his best friend was my cousin and old best friend Louis Tomlinson.
‘Yeah I remember Mummy but I love my full name.’ She said smiling widely reveiling a row of small baby teeth.
‘I know I do too sweet.’ I replied with quietly as I watched her slowly toddle back into the living room as a small tear fell down my cheek.
Suddenly the door knocked loudly but to an unusual rhythmic beat. I wonder who that is, I thought to myself, we never got visitors because just like I said before it is me and Rosie.
I sighed deeply whipping away the tear that had fallen gently down my cheek and walked to the door thinking back to four years ago today the last time I saw Rosie’s Dad, Harry Styles.
*FLASHBACK TO FOUR YEARS AGO*
I was loving life so much right now I had just finished school had got a brilliant job, brilliant family and friends and best of all the dream boy friend. My boyfriend wasn’t just any guy though it was Harry Styles one of the five young singers in the boy band One Direction which I had loved since day one.
I hadn’t met Harry in the way girls dream of though, I met him through Louis my cousin who I had been also best mates with since we were tiny. He was also in the band with Harry and had introduced us. Ever since day one Harry and I had hit it off and became great friends, always talking either in person or on the phone when he was busy on tour with the rest of the boys.
I also got on with the rest of the boys very well they were like my best mates, there was Liam who I always went to for advice since he was the calm sweet one who seemed to have an answer for everything but he also had a crazy wild side where he was really fun. Then there was Niall who was really funny, me and him joked and just seemed to laugh for hours, he was Irish and had a deep accent which I thought was really cute and loved. The last person but defiantly not least was Zayn who was fit to put it simply with dark skin and black spiky hair, he was the one who came out with the hilarious saying that I now say all the time ‘vas appenin?!’ I got on with him really well even though he was a bit shy at first.
Just after the X Factor finished Harry and I officially started dating and made it public which was slightly weird but I think everyone had been expecting it, there had been a few rumours going around some completely not true and just mad.
So it was Louis, Liam, Zayn, Niall, Harry, me and my best mate Eloise who I had also known since I was tiny. Louis, Eloise and I used to play silly little games together and had always got on like the three best friends any one could have until we were joined by everyone else and then we were the seven best friends anyone could ever have.
Everything was perfect in my life until one day my whole life changed.
I was meeting everyone today since the boys had just got back from their tour and I hadn’t seen any of them since the show in Manchester where Eloise and I went to meet them and stay back stage. That was the last time I had seen Harry as well it seemed so long ago now even though it was only a few weeks ago.
My alarm buzzed violently next to my bed making me jump slightly and fling forward smacking my alarm hard. I had a hatred for alarms, always have done they always make me jump. I groaned slightly sitting up in my bed, I had a horrible stomach feeling and horrible taste in my mouth. I quickly covered my mouth as I ran towards the toilet where I threw up.
I was never sick ever. Even when I felt sick I could never be sick. I groaned slightly as I washed around my mouth just before I threw up again. This was so weird I was NEVER sick why now? I walked slowly back into my bedroom groaning slightly rubbing my stomach to hopefully calm it down.
That’s when I thought of it the horrible theory I prayed could not be true. “Shit please please say it’s not!” I whispered under my breath running towards my calendar on the wall to check the date swearing under my breath as I ran my finger over the days.
“Oh fuck.” I swore again, I was late about a couple of weeks or so late and throwing up which I never did. “Please no no no.” I began to panic pacing up and down my bedroom breathing heavily. At first I picked my phone up questioning if I should ring someone but then decided against it, if anyone should know what was happening it would be Harry but I couldn’t tell him this until I was sure.
Once I had calmed down I had headed to the pharmacy on the other side of town where nobody knew me and got a pregnancy test rushing home with it and heading straight to the bath room. Not long later I came out of the bath room holding the white stick that would probably change my life. My phone buzzed saying time was up, I took a deep breath and then turned over to see it. ‘Positive’ It said right there on the white stick in them dreaded black letters. “Oh fuck.” I whispered, this really can not end good.
I slowly walked to the studio doors where I was meeting everyone, before opening the door I took a deep breath and slowly opened it stepping inside. I walked down a long corridor to the room where we normally hung out where I found most of my friends except Harry. “EMMA!” Everyone shouted standing up and running towards me for hugs not noticing a thing…until Louis stopped just in front of me with a concerned look on his face ‘shit I should have known he would notice something was wrong.’ I thought to myself as I stood awkwardly in front of him. “Emma are you okay? You look very pale.” He pointed out making everyone examine my face and nodding in agreement.
“Oh yeah I was feeling a bit sick this morning, you know me can never be sick so it is worse.” I lied.
“What’s this?! Is my baby ill?!” Harry suddenly shouted from behind me making me jump slightly. He ran over to my side examining me.
“Well sort of I’m fine now, don’t worry.” I told him sweetly giving him a big hug; I had missed our hugs so much while he had been on tour, just hugging him made my legs still go numb.
“Awh well good because if you were ill I wouldn’t be able to give you your kiss would I?” Harry winked at me before kissing my lips softly making me forget all the crap happening right now.
I pulled away smiling and biting my lip until reality came back to me. “Urm Harry I really need to talk to you.” I whispered to him noticing everyone had gone to sit on the sofas, I also noticed Eloise and Niall sitting very close together.
*Note to self-find out what is happening there*.
“Oh okay we can go in this back room.” He directed me to a room I had never noticed before taking me inside quietly without anyone seeming to realise. “So what is it beautiful?” Harry asked looking confused.
I took a deep shaky breath before speaking. “Right I don’t know how to say this or how you are going to react Harry so I’m just going to say it quick.”
“Okay tell me.” He edged me on taking my hand in his.
I took a deep breath then just spat it out “I’m pregnant Harry.” I whispered and as soon as I did Harry dropped my hand along with his jaw which seemed to fall to the floor.
“What? How we used protection and oh my god are you sure?” Harry started panicking running his hands through his curls shaking his head.
“Yes I’m sure I took a test and I know it must have broken or something I don’t know but Harry I have been thinking about it and I am going to keep it I can’t abort it.” I said with tears falling freely down my cheeks.
“Are you sure you want to keep this it could ruin your life!” Harry said kind of loudly scaring me slightly.
“Yes I’m sure I am so sorry Harry.” Tears were falling down both of our cheeks.
“I can’t have a baby the record label will drop us and everything my whole life will be ruined!” Harry said slightly quieter but still frustrated, I knew it now the worst was going to happen I had lost him now he didn’t want this baby.
I sighed deeply I had been thinking about this long and hard and the words I was about to say I knew would kill me forever. “I know, you don’t have to do anything Harry your life is brilliant I won’t let it be ruined.” Harry and I hadn’t been dating for very long, we were both in love with each other but it had never come up the thought of being pregnant with his child hadn’t even come into my mind and the thought of him giving his life up for the chance he might stay with me just didn’t seem fair. A big large lump filled my throat just after saying them words which I soon felt like I regretted.
“What are you talking about are you going to abort it then we can forget all about this?” Harry said looking hopeful I had never thought he would have acted this way even though I knew he probably didn’t want it.
“No I’m not because unlike you I am not just going to just push my mess under my bed I am going to deal with it and face it!” I shouted at him slightly mad at the way he had reacted.
“So how then?” he shot back at me.
“I will leave and not come back, no one will ever know about the baby but us or that you are the Dad.” I was shaking and crying a lot now but trying to be strong.
“What you would just drop your life and leave everyone for ever for me?” He asked shocked.
“Yeah because you do that sort of thing when you are in love and you would normally do anything to make sure they are happy but I see you aren’t going to let it go my way and be happy for us with our baby so looks like it is down to me.” I shouted fiercely at Harry crying my eyes out now making Harry cry as well. “But I know you are doing this for the most important thing ever which is your career and I don’t want to ruin that for you and I know I am meant to be mad at you but I can’t be mad at you Harry.” I whispered slightly calmer after a few awkward seconds of silence the words were just coming out of my mouth before I could even think what was happening.
“Are you sure about this Emma?” Harry then asked me bringing more tears to my eyes, this was really happening now. I nodded quietly letting a tear fall down my face. “You know I do love you so much but right now just isn’t the time and I promise you this won’t be the last time we meet, in the future we will meet when everything is calmer and I will come find you soon. I just can’t believe you’re doing this for me.” Harry said to me quietly wrapping his arms around me, just holding me and letting me cry into his shoulder making my heart break even more as I inhaled his scent.
“Well we better make it look convincing we will have to pretend to fight now because I have to leave for a job or something and make a scene in front of the others then I will say good bye and go.” I removed myself from Harry him whipping his tears and nodding I needed to do this quick while my head wasn’t straight because I knew deep down, this was right.
I stood ready to open the door to storm out. I could tell he looked uncertain but as he opened his mouth I stopped him with my finger letting the only words come out of his mouth ‘I love you’ with tears in his eyes just before I flung the door open.
“I’M SICK OF YOU HARRY! I AM LEAVING FOR THIS JOB AND NOT COMING BACK IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!” I shouted at him putting on quite a good act and making all our friends heads snap up towards us, no going back now.
“IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU ISN’T IT YOU CAN’T JUST BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE CAN YOU?!” He shouted back upsetting me more slightly at how much he looked like he meant it.
“I am going forever Harry and I hope I don’t ever see you again!” I shouted slightly less loudly this time.
“Wait what’s going on?! Emma what are you on about?!” Eloise shouted running over to my side.
“She is leaving Eloise to go for a job! She is leaving us all and we are over!” He shouted leaving everyone gob smacked.
“What now?!” Niall asked shocked.
“No in a few minutes if he will let me say good bye to you all!” I said angrily indicating to Harry who nodded and walked to the side with tears falling down his face which he was trying to hide.
“Emma what the fuck are you on about?” Louis asked with tears in his eyes, shit I had forgotten about leaving him.
“I’m so sorry Louis, I am so sorry to everyone but I swear no matter how long I don’t see you or however long it is we don’t talk I will see you again I promise, it will be like you’re on tour again just for longer.”
Louis shook his head from side to side in disbelief staring at me water spilling out of his eyes slightly.
“Emma you can’t leave me!” Eloise said next to me crying her eyes out we had promised never to leave each other.
“I’m sorry babe I really am, I wish it didn’t have to be this way but I promise no matter how many years it is we don’t talk will come back one day you’re my best mate.”
“No please babe don’t go!” She whipped away tears while pleading.
“I’m so sorry be strong babe, you have all the guys here to look after you and I promise I will come back some day and we can do all the things we planned again I just really need this job.” I wrapped my arms around her shhing her while trying to hold back my tears I was going to miss her so much. “I love you babe, now promise me one thing you will get together with Nialler?” I whispered into her ear so no one else could here attempt to cheer her up.
“What how did you?” She asked shocked pulling away.
“I know you too well sweet so do you promise me?” She nodded in reply walking to the side so I could say good bye to everyone else.
“Why are you doing this Emma if you don’t want it?” Liam asked staring me right in the eyes he knew full well I didn’t want to.
“No it’s for the best Liam.” I shook my head and pulled him into a hug. I hugged each of the boys saying my good byes and when I came to Niall I whispered something extra into his ear “I know you like her Niall and you better look after her and treat her right while I am gone!” I whispered into his ear making him blush slightly.
“I will don’t worry Emma.” He told me giving me one last squeeze.
Now it was time to say good bye to Louis the boy who had been there for me through everything and was a best friend older brother person to me not just a cousin. “I can’t believe you’re doing this Emma! I’m going to miss you so much!” He told me wrapping his arms around me squeezing me so hard I was struggling to breath.
“I’m going to miss you so much Louis thank you so much for everything you have done for me and I promise this won’t be the last time I see you even if I don’t see you for years.”
“Shh don’t say that I know we will see each other again soon and I will always be here for you just give me a ring if you need me. I love you cuz you were always like a sister to me.”
“I love you too.” I said my last good bye to everyone and then turned to see Harry stood by the door way next to my coat, I slowly walked over trying not to burst into tears grabbing my coat and listened as he whispered into my ear the last words I ever heard him say “I am so sorry Emma, I wish things could be different and I always will love you, come back if you can’t do it and I will find you.” I nodded in reply and left the building not looking back trying not to think about how I had just left my best friends for most likely forever.
Since that day my life has been pretty much just me, it wasn’t the last time I saw all my friends though. When Rosie had just turned two I decided I needed someone just to talk to feel well normal again since recently, I was struggling quite a lot with missing everyone. I decided to ring Eloise the one friend who in the past I had nearly told everything to, the one girl who understood me. I remember listening to the phone ring silently to the number I had from the last time I saw her hoping she hadn’t changed it.
The rings where silent, until her familiar voice answered at the other end “Hello?” she answered. I had changed my number since everything had happened so if anyone tried to get hold of me they couldn’t leaving her unknown to who was calling.
“Hi urm is this Eloise?” I asked quietly shaking with nerves.
“Who is it?” I heard a familiar Irish accent say in the back ground bringing tears to my eyes knowing they were still super close.
“I have no idea, urm who is this?” she asked me sounding confused. I stood in silence for a minute as tears fell down my cheeks slightly. “Hello is anyone there?” she asked after a while.
“Yeah sorry I was just a bit shocked, typical of you to keep the same number you goon.” I chuckled knowing she might catch on now.
“Wait this can’t be, is it?” She was beginning to catch on now her voice was filled with hope more.
“Hi babe I told you I would ring you again one day, but wait please don’t let the others know who I am if they are there.”
“Oh my I…urm yeah sorry it took me a second there I haven’t seen you in ages Jen.” She acted as I heard her stand up and walk somewhere carrying on the pretend conversation till I heard a door shut in the back ground. “OH MY GOD! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!” She shouted down the phone once the door was closed making me laugh, I had missed her. We spoke for a bit until we decided to agree to meet up that day since Rosie was at nursery.
I had to drive a fair way to a small cafe where we agreed to meet but I really didn’t care how far away it was. When I arrived and walked in I saw Eloise straight away sat in a corner at the back of the room, she looked exactly the same apart from her hair had been dyed slightly redder. She looked up after a while and her face lit up as she saw me, we both ran to each other wrapping our arms around one and other with tears falling down our faces.
I didn’t tell Eloise anything about the true story of why I left just kept to the story I had told her to begin with. I gave her my new number and address but told her not to visit without calling me first because I have an unusual flat mate who doesn’t like guests which she agreed and just laughed at.
I met up with her a few times after that in secret where she informed me her and Niall had been dating for ages now and got together just after I had left. We met up a couple of times a month with the last time we had met up being last week where she had seemed a bit worried.
*Knock de knock knock* someone knocked on the door again to rhythmic beat reminding me to go answer it. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” I shouted as I walked to the door more quickly unlocking it wondering who on earth it could be, probably some weirdo asking me about my religion or something.
I pulled the small key out of the door after unlocking it and turned the handle opening the door to see three faces I had not seen in so long, the last three faces I had expected to see in a long time.
At first I just stood there with the shape of an ‘O’ on my face. “What the…” was all I could say at first. “EMMA!” Louis shouted picking me up and spinning me around till I was dizzy, I was in too much shock to resist.
Louis put me down laughing putting a finger under my chin and closing my mouth. “SURPRISE!” they all then shouted making my mouth drop back open again while I thought of words to say. “Oh my god how? What?” I asked as a smile grew on my face slightly now realising these where three of the people I had left behind that day, Louis, Liam and Zayn three of the boys I had missed so much.
“Well now that is a secret.” Liam said tapping his nose giving me a big hug followed by Zayn. That was not a secret I knew too well how they had found about me; Eloise.
“Oh god typical she cannot keep that big gob shut!” I shouted emphasizing the word gob.
“Shit she is going to kill us now! We told her we wouldn’t do anything!” Zayn moaned yes that was true they should be worried Eloise was an urm powerful person let’s put it that way.
I laughed at their worried expressions as they started to walk towards the door to enter until…
“Mummy who is that?” Rosie’s voice came from the room next to me making my smile drop, I had completely forgotten about everything.
“Who on the earth is that?!” Louis asked with a look of confusion on his face. I searched for words in my head but nothing came, all that I could think of saying was ‘shit, shit, shit, shit’.
“Urm that well that is urm…” I thought for a second scratching my head but before I could reply Rosie came running into the hall way with chocolate all over her mouth.
“Mummy did you not hear me I said who is at the door!” She said putting her hands on her hips, she was a very demanding 3 year old.
“Oh urm sorry darling I didn’t and I think you know who they are.” I said quietly looking other to my friend’s whose jaws were nearly touching the floor.
“Oh my gosh no way Uncle Louis, Uncle Liam and Uncle Zayn!” She shouted running over to them hands raised with a look of happiness on her face. They all stood there shocked looking from me to Rosie as their jaws dropped further. Liam was the first to speak slightly shocked and stuttering kneeling down to Rosie’s height making little Rosie’s face light up.
“You know who we are?” he asked confused.
“Yeah of course I do silly Uncle Liam!” Rosie laughed wrapping her arms around Liam’s neck making him pick her up and bring tears to my eyes. “I know all of you there is you Uncle Liam, Uncle Zayn, Uncle Louis, Uncle Niall and Auntie Eloise you are all Daddy’s and Mummy’s best friends.
‘Oh shit there was no going back now, well done Rosie.’ I thought to myself as everyone looked at me again.
“Mummy and Daddy’s best friends?” Louis stuttered out.
I nodded slightly before speaking rubbing away a tear escaping from my eye. “Louis, Zayn, Liam meet Rosie, mine and…” I gulped slightly before saying his name and confessing. “…Harry’s daughter.” The tears were falling so much now that was it the secret was out.
“Mummy why are you crying shouldn’t you be happy they are here!” Rosie said clapping her hands cutely.
“Yeah I’m sorry Rosie, I’m so sorry all of you.” I apologised shakily rubbing the tears away.
“Hey you don’t need to be sorry come here!! Louis said wrapping his arms around me shhing me as I cried into his t-shirt soaking it, after so many years and it had all come out, everything was going to be ruined.
“Urm Rosie do you mind if I borrow Zayn for a minute so me and the guys can have a catch up. I tried to pull Zayn away from sitting on the sofa watching the kid’s channels with Rosie.
“But Power Rangers is just about to come on and Zayn said he likes that!” Rosie protested, typical.
“Hey how about we record it and I will watch it with you later.” Zayn suggested putting Rosie down to watch TV on her own and walking towards the kitchen to join Liam, Louis and I.
“Fine but if any of you make my mummy cry I’m warning you I know your weaknesses especially you Liam my spoon is ready and waiting!” Rosie shouted making us all laugh slightly apart from Liam who was doing an uneven chuckle looking more worried.
I closed the door leaving Rosie alone and went to join the boys at the table passing them each a drink, I had calmed down a bit since they had first found out but was still a bit shaky and quiet. How could I have been so careless to just let them in again?
“I’m guessing you want an explanation.” I sighed as they stared at me waiting.
“Well yes that might help since last time we saw you, you didn’t have a kid, who is adorable by the way and you were storming off leaving us all for a ‘job’ only for none of us to hear from you for 4 years apart from Eloise, who we found out had been in touch the other week.” Liam said taking a sip of his drink.
“Oh god I’m such an idiot! The whole plan is ruined now I knew I couldn’t do it!” I began to cry again thinking about it all.
“What are you on about Emma, don’t cry please it’s fine just explain.” Zayn said rubbing my back reassuring me to go on.
I took a large sigh as I began to explain. “It was on that day were I left everything, where I told you about leaving for a job and the fight with Harry, it was all fake it was all put on.”
“What so you and Harry didn’t break up?” Louis asked.
“No we did that part was true but it wasn’t because of the job it’s because I found out I was pregnant that day and well Harry didn’t want the baby, his career with you guys would be over and it was just beginning, it would have all be ruined I couldn’t let that happen so I said I would leave and not come back to any of my old life, I did it for him so we put on the act and I left.”
“You what?! That was the reason you left and he let you?!” Louis shouted full of anger.
“No please don’t be mad I’m fine me and Rosie have been fine we have lived a nice life together we didn’t need him, I brought up the idea.” I defended lying slightly god I felt so bad how could I make this look so awful, wait no never mind look it was awful, the whole thing was just fucked up my life for four years had been a huge lie.
“Emma, the boy let you leave your friends family your whole life just to hide his mistake, he shouldn’t have agreed to in the first place!” Liam protested getting equally as angry.
“I know he shouldn’t but it’s not like I was completely on my own, I had Rosie and she didn’t grow up without knowing about her Dad or anything, she knows who he is and everything and she has watched him on TV, she looks up to him and she knows full well what a great Dad he is, she knows everything about you boys.”
“I still can’t believe this Emma, you’re my cousin he had no right to make you stay away from any of us!” Louis protested.
“I know but he didn’t I had my own free will and choose to do it so I’m equally as bad here!” I shouted back at him leaving him slightly baffled.
“Right what is with all the shouting who’s upsetting who? Is it you Liam are you upsetting my Mummy because I have my spoon here!” Rosie shouted from the other room making us all just laugh as Liam backed away from the wall slightly.
“See she even knows about Liam and his weird spoon thing.” I told them laughing slightly. “Please don’t be mad at me or Harry guys I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, I really am but please I beg of you don’t upset Rosie or tell Harry about today please.” I begged after a few seconds of silence.
“But..” They all said but were cut off by my daggers knowing to shut up.
“No shh you know it’s for the best.” I smiled at them maybe everything could work out alright.
“Mummy, why can’t I have a carrot like Uncle Louis!” Rosie moaned watching Louis munch on a carrot.
“Typical so now you to be healthy!” I said getting up and going to fetch another carrot.
“I like this girl, she has good taste in food!” Louis smiled with a grin on his face.
“No not was appenin it’s vas’appenin?” Zayn attempted to teach Rosie to do his famous saying.
“Ohh so vas’appenin?”
“Yes! She can do it!” Zayn cheered picking her up and spinning her around.
“Yaay okay so let me try this, Liam vas’appenin?” Rosie winked at Liam oh god Zayn is teaching her to be a young slut.
“Zayn could you not teach my daughter your cheeky chat up lines?” I asked taking her off him and handing her the carrot.
“Hey I can’t help it! She has skills!”
Time soon flew by and next thing I knew it was getting dark outside and Rosie was fast asleep on Liam’s chest. “I forgot to ask you guys why Niall isn’t here?” I asked
“Well we needed someone to keep Eloise and Harry busy and well Niall was the last one to call dibs so he got stuck keeping them entertained.” Zayn explained.
I looked at little Rosie asleep on Liam’s chest her cute curly hair falling slightly in front of her face. She was bound to have curly hair Harry and Emma both has curly hair but Harry’s is curlier. She looked so sweet and clam as she slept on Liam, she was completely clueless to what her Mum had done for her and Harry.
“Louis, are you alright mate?” Liam nudged me knocking me out of my trail of thoughts.
“Yeah I’m urm fine just it’s just a shock, how couldn’t Harry want all this how could he not want his gorgeous daughter and how could he make Emma do what she has done? It’s not right Liam.” I whispered back to him while Emma was distracted talking to Zayn about Eloise and Niall I think.
“I know it’s not right is it, god I feel proud of her though how she has gone through it all without anyone and kept it quiet for so long, I don’t know how she has she must have been so scared.” He was right because of Harry my cousin has had to go through all this alone and it’s not right. “Louis I know what you are thinking we can’t confront him about this, he must not know we’ve been here today you promised Emma!” Liam took me out of my thoughts again how could he read my mind like that.
“Fine but you better keep me away from him for a while Liam.”
We left after a while to let Emma and Rosie go to sleep telling her I would ring her tomorrow and we can meet up with Niall next time which she seemed to be happy about.
Nearly a week had passed since we saw Emma and met Rosie. Eloise and Niall had found out when they went to meet her, at first Eloise was furious with Harry and at us for going without telling her but soon calmed down, we all had been furious with him but had learned to deal with it a bit now.
*KNOCK KNOCK* The door knocked alerting the attention of everyone all knowing who it was; Emma. She was coming over to the house today for the first time in years to see us all since Harry was out for the day meeting someone apparently.
“I’ll get it!” Eloise said standing up and running towards the door down stairs. We heard muffled talking as they got closer towards our room.
“Hey everyone!” Emma said giving a light wave as she entered but you could tell she was a bit busy looking around the familiar rooms.
“Hey Emma!” We all shouted getting up and giving her a hug each, she had left Rosie at Nursery today so it was her day off really.
“It hasn’t changed much has it.” She said awkwardly looking around the room like an exploring child.
“Hey who is up for a game of Just Dance?” Niall asked picking up the controls changing conversation making Emma’s face seem to light up.
“Oh my god you still have that game! God I haven’t played it in sooo long!” She shouted picking up a remote smiling, game on time!
Everything was going great it was like I had never left, we were all messing about like usual me and Eloise even decided to do some baking for the boys.
“Right pass us the flour then.” Eloise said mixing the ingredients already in the glass bowl. I opened the large cupboard to pull the self raising floor out.
OH MY FUCKING GOD! STUPID BLOODY FLOUR! The stupid flour had decided to jump out of the cupboard the second I opened it and just had to land directly on my head.
I looked to my right wiping my eyes to see Eloise practically on the floor in hysterics laughing at me. “Oh you think it’s funny do you?” I asked picking up the packet of remaining flour pouring it all over her head.
“You did not just do that?!” She stared in shock as I pissed myself laughing. “Right it’s on!” She shouted picking up the egg off the side beginning the chase me with it.
So soon, as you may have guessed cake mixture was everywhere including all over us. Leaving us now sat on the kitchen floor licking it off.
“Hey is that cake nearly ready I’m starving!” Niall shouted banging on the door. I smiled looking at Eloise who looked at me at the same time, we knew exactly what each other was thinking.
“Urm yeah we’re coming now get ready but close your eyes it’s a surprise!” Eloise said as we both got up off the floor and headed for the door opening it slowly to see them all stood there with closed eyes.
“Hurry up then I’m starving!” Niall moaned as he stood impatiently. We both crept behind a table hiding.
“Right open them!” we both said at the same time as we watching them open them and begin the look around confused, searching for where their precious cake was.
“Urm where…ARGH” Liam screamed as we jumped out at him covered in cake mixture.
“SURPRISE!” I shouted licking the mixture off my arm while laughing. “We’re your cake!”
“What the hell happened?!” Zayn shouted looking us up and down as Niall walked towards up running his finger on Eloise’s arm tasting the mixture.
“Urm we kind of got into a cake fight.” Eloise said innocently as Niall licked the mixture of her with his fingers.
“Guys you need to try this it’s so nice!” Niall said happily eating the mixture but the boys didn’t look too sure.
“Urm I think we’ll pass” they all said backing away.
“Aw do I not get a hug?” I asked arms open walking towards them.
“Maybe after you’ve had a shower!” Liam said grabbing me from behind by the shoulders and directing me towards the bath room.
“What how come Eloise doesn’t have to have one?!”
“Niall can clean her.” He said simply shoving me in the bath room charming, this is what I get for making a human cake.
I returned back to see Niall now kissing the face of Eloise while eating the mixture as well urm well that’s a sight I could have done without seeing.
“Where has Emma gone?” Louis asked flicking through the channels on the TV.
“I shoved her into the shower.” I replied with joining him on the sofa. “Looks like things are going to be alright now doesn’t it, I mean Harry never has to know and she doesn’t have to do this alone any more.”
“Yeah looks like it which is good, I just don’t know what Emma would do if she saw Harry right now after all these years.” Eloise said pulling away from Niall’s lips.
“Yeah but think of this, Harry hasn’t been right since Emma left has he? I thought it was because she left but now I think it’s more because of what he did, I know it was bad but I bet he feels some guilt.” Zayn pointed out, we had all noticed he hadn’t been the same for a long time at all but I never thought of it that way.
“I guess.” Everyone mumbled.
We sat in silence for a few moments then with the only noise being Emma’s singing coming from the shower making us all burst into laughter after the silent moments, until we heard a noise downstairs, the noise of the door being shut turning us all stone silent again.
“Hello anyone home?” Harry shouted up the stairs as we all froze.
*Liams POV continued*
We all froze as we heard footsteps coming up the stairs. “Shit guys we got to warn Emma!” Eloise shouted about to run out the door but as she did Harry came through it blocking her exit.
“Whoa slow down what happened to you?! What have you got all over you?” Harry asked looking Eloise’s cake covered body up and down.
“Oh urm…I was baking.” She replied with awkwardly looking at us for help.
“Yeah she made a right mess the whole thing exploded it just went urm…bang like whoosh.” Zayn tried to explain making whooshing actions with his hands as we all glared at him and his stupidity. It all went bang are you actually kidding me.
“Bang and whoosh?” Harry asked confused looking at his mad looking friend.
“Yes quick come help me to clean it away before it urm goes bang again like Zayn said.” Eloise said pushing Harry towards the kitchen turning around indicating towards the shower room with her arms to get Emma out.
Once we heard the door close to the kitchen we all ran around badly trying to think of a way to get her out as we heard Emma’s singing getting louder as she got out of the bath room and walked into the bed room, oh you have to be kidding me!
“Who was that?” We heard Harry say in the kitchen as he headed back into the living room.
“Harry stop we need to clean this cake up, if it explodes again it could urm blow us all up!” Eloise shouted after him as he wandered towards us looking around, Louis and Niall shooting into the bedroom just before.
“Who was singing?” He asked looking towards me and Zayn.
“Urm yeah that was me practising a little bit.” Zayn replied putting on a bad girly voice pretending to sing bad, jesus he could not lie to save the planet.
“Zayn I know you can sing better than that and anyway I heard a girl’s voice.” He searched the room looking for someone as a bang came from the bed room attracting Harry’s attention him instantly heading in that direction.
“No wait you don’t want to go in there!” I shouted moving in front of the door with my arms stretched out in front of the frame.
“Liam who are you hiding, are you all trying to keep some girl away from me to keep her for yourself or something, don’t be so stupid guys just let me meet her or are you scared she will like me better i stead of you all.” He had been like this ever since Emma left, completely vain thinking he could get any girl he wanted, not thinking about anyone’s feelings, it made me feel sick. Harry tried to knock me out of the way to see in but I wasn’t having it not this time, everything he had done was wrong too wrong.
“You think you’re so brilliant don’t you Harry, thinking every girl loves you being so vain with that attitude of yours it makes me bloody sick! You think you’re Mr Perfect but you are no where near right now! You’ve been this way for years now ever since…” I paused knowing I was about to go too far.
“I have no idea what you’re on about but nothing changed me at all, I’ve always been me and now you’re just being stupid with not letting me meet who ever she is!” He lied you could tell he knew what I meant by what happened a few years ago, he always did this as well if anyone had mentioned it he would try to look like he had no idea but you could see he knew full well, you could see the pain in his eyes.
“You do know full well Harry you know who I’m on about!” I shouted I was sick of him trying to hide it, hiding his mistakes and what he had done.
“Liam stop!” Zayn tried to stop me but I wasn’t having it.
“No he knows who I’m on about and he has changed and he needs to admit it now! He needs to tell us why he had changed what is that reason! I mean what is the big deal it was four years ago get over it!” I was toying with him setting him up I didn’t mean what I was saying I just wanted to hear him admit it.
“I LOVE HER OKAY?! I loved her with all my heart Liam and that is why I’m like this okay?! I don’t know if you’ve ever had your heart broken but I’m telling you it is the worst feeling I have ever felt, I love her and I never told her how much I did and that is why!” I stared in complete shock as tears filled his eyes.
I opened my mouth to reply but was interrupted by the door opening behind me.
I walked out of the shower singing as usual; it was something I did naturally now just sing out loud, no one had ever been around to here it before apart from Rosie so I didn’t care. I walked into the bedroom after putting my underwear on and ran a towel over my hair.
A bang startled me causing me to scream turning around keeping my towel wrapped securely around me at the sound of someone bursting through the door. I picked up a hair dryer and pointed it in towards the door like a gun to see Louis and Niall stood barricading the door with one arm each with a hand covering their eyes with the other.
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” I shouted putting the hair dryer down keeping my towel securely around my body.
“Sorry this is an emergency you need to get out of here!” Niall said still covering his eyes.
“Okay okay could it not have waited? God I’ve only just got out of the shower and Niall keep your eyes bloody shut!” I moaned what could be so important that they would burst in like this; I quickly put my clothes back on keeping the towel near just in case. “Right okay I’m dressed now what is so bloody important?” I asked frustrated.
“Right Emma keep calm but urm Harry has come back early.” Louis said, shit no this could not be happening I could not see him no way I wasn’t meant to come back ever.
“Oh my god no Louis I can’t see him I need to get out of here! I knew this was a bad idea all of this contacting Eloise being so careless letting you in that day, coming here I shouldn’t have done any of it, I need to leave now I knew it wouldn’t be easy to just come back!” I mumbled picking up various items of mine in the room panicking as tears rose in my eyes, it had been four years since I had last seen him.
“Emma come on keep calm we can sort this, don’t worry it’s all going to be fine!” Louis said trying to stop my panicking state by grabbing my wrists.
“No I need to leave completely this isn’t right, it isn’t fair on Rosie I need to get her away from all this!” I tried to pull myself from Louis grip holding the tears back. That’s when I heard him in person for the first time in four years, he was right outside the door shouting with Liam, his deep voice could be heard so easily. I stopped struggling then letting the tears just fall I had missed hearing that voice so much.
“Shh it’s alright come here.” Lou said pulling me into a hug.
“Louis I have missed hearing his voice so much, I’ve missed him so much.” I sobbed into his shirt I missed our memories together, having fun seeing his smile, being with all my friends, hearing him sing I had missed him soo much.
“Guys I know this is hard but we need to get out of here if we don’t want to see Harry!” Niall said holding the door shut just in case. I stopped sobbing for a second, I could hear Liam shouting fiercly at Harry about him admitting something, wait it was him admitting why he couldn’t face someone. I listened more closely as I discovered they were fighting about me.
I let go of Louis as walked closer to the door listening in with Niall and Louis doing the same. Suddenly Harry shouted as loud as I have ever heard him shout ‘I love her okay?!’ was the first words he shouted making tears come to my eyes even more as he spoke to the feelings of heartbreak, the exact same feeling I had been having this whole time.
‘I love her and I never told her how much I did and that is why!’ I heard him stutter through sobs breaking my heart even more to hear him cry. I couldn’t take this anymore I had been hiding it for too long I had been hiding from him for too many years, I knew the reason I contacted Eloise wasn’t fully because I needed just her it was because I wanted my life back, I wanted my Harry back.
I looked back at Louis and Niall who gave me a weak smile and nod with Louis giving me a reassuring rub on my arm, they knew what I was thinking. I took one deep breath and brushed away the stray tears. ‘Here we go’ I thought to myself taking an even bigger breath opening the large door with my shaking hand.
I couldn’t take it anymore I knew I had changed I knew full well but every day I was holding in the biggest secret of my life, the secret of what happened that day where I made the biggest mistake of my life letting the only one I love leave with my child.
I hadn’t been close to anyone, I was being moody in any way possible to stop people from getting too close to me because I knew if people did I would all spill out my feelings and the truth of what happened.
“…He needs to tell us why he had changed what is that reason! I mean what is the big deal it was four years ago get over it now!” Liam continued to shout at me I couldn’t hold it in I just snapped.
“I LOVE HER OKAY?! I loved her with all my heart Liam and that is why I’m like this okay?! I don’t know if you’ve ever had your heart broken but I’m telling you it is the worst feeling I have ever felt, I love her and I never told her how much I did and that is why!” I shouted at him as tears rose in my eyes I was so frustrated I just couldn’t keep it in anymore my feelings were becoming too much.
“Harry..” Liam started but before he could say anything I heard the door click behind him attracting all our attention. I looked down wiping my tears away, I couldn’t let anyone else see me like this. I kept my head deep down trying to stop them but I couldn’t I had been holding all these tears in for four years there was no stopping them now.
“Hello Harry.” I heard the light girly rememable voice ring through my ears. I looked up to be met by her beautiful hazel eyes glistening from tears just looking at me. My jaw dropped as I stared at her she hadn’t changed at all apart from her hair looked a little bit blonder, she was looking as gorgeous as ever her long hair was still left in blonde ringlets laying effortlessly with her hazel eyes glistening in the light as new tears arose while her smile remained hidden behind a look of sadness.
“Em..ma?” Was all I could stutter out from shock what was she doing her after this whole time? Had she come back did she have the baby? If so where was it? So many questions were going through my mind right now.
“Long time no see Harry.” She sighed trying to hold the obvious tears in her eyes just like me, I just wanted to hug her.
“Just a bit, urm where is I mean did you have, how is the job?” I babbled what did everyone know, did they know the truth or not.
I was trying so hard to hold back the tears but was failing miserably just like Harry as he stood before me cheeks wet with the tears.
“They know Harry they know everything about what happened about why I left and about Rosie.” I pulled myself together to say that one sentence as I was seriously thinking I was going to run off and cry because right now that’s all I wanted to do.
“Rosie?” He stuttered I could see it in his eyes he knew it was the baby.
“The baby Harry she is called Rosie.”
“A baby girl? A little girl?” He babbled again.
I simply nodded unable to speak looking at Louis for help. “Yeah you have a daughter Harry.” He said rubbing my shoulder giving me a weak smile I couldn’t look at Harry I needed to get out of there.
“I’m sorry I need to urm go to the toilet.” I rushed out pushing past everyone into the bath room closing the door quickly behind me.
I had a daughter a little girl. I was in complete shock I couldn’t believe it I never had fully thought of the fact that I was actually a Dad. “Oh great work one of you could have stopped her now I’m gonna have to probably break the bloody door down!” Eloise moaned repeating Emma’s steps in the direction of the bath room.
We all stood in silence for about a minute unsure of what to say until Louis broke the silence. “You not got anything to say for yourself then?” He looked angry, angrier than I had ever seen him before not surprisingly, he was like Emma’s brother and because of me he lost her for four years and was kept the biggest secret ever from.
“Louis I’m soo sorry I really am I was stupid then I really was and I know I’m such a dick I have been since she left but that is only because every day I have been regretting that I let her go like that and I had to hide this from you.” I sat down with my head in my hands pulling at my curls in frustration.
“Why didn’t you tell us though Harry we could have found her then and got her back easier! Now she will proberly leave again or something do you know she has been on her own for four years constantly hiding doing everything she can for that beautiful amazing little girl who you just chucked away!” He shouted at me she had been on her own this whole time?
“You’ve met her?” I asked looking up at him and the others.
“We all have Harry she got in touch with Eloise a bit ago and we found out so went to visit her and well when a child comes running in shouting Mummy and recognises you as Mummy and Daddy’s best friends you kind of find out who she is.” Liam explained, they had all met her before me and she knew who I was?
“She knows who I am?” So many questions were filling my mind.
“Yeah she watches you on TV and everything she knows all about you and she is so like you and Emma it’s untrue, she has a weird obsession with Haribo and chocolate and loves cats and has really curly hair just like you, she looks a lot like you actually.” Niall said.
“Look mate we are really mad at you right now but we know how much it has killed you without her and well we can see you regret letting her go so stop sitting pulling your curls out and get after her before it’s too late because I know no matter what right now you couldn’t care less about what your management and fans think.” Liam pointed out why does he always have to be right?! I gave them a weak smile a headed towards the bathroom.
“Emma we can go to Nandos I know you love it there? Or how about we go get one of them big chocolate cakes?” Eloise tried to bribe her out.
“Eloise please will you stop bribing me with food you’re making me extremely hungry and I’m not coming out!” She replied with, looks like her eating habits haven’t changed either.
“Finally come to your senses then?” Eloise asked me quietly folding her arms obviously another person who I was going to have to work very hard to get on their good side.
I nodded and knocked on the door. “Emma please let me in we need to talk please just let me in I won’t let anyone else follow me.” I said quietly waiting patiently listening and waiting until I heard the lock unclick of the door.
I gave her a weak smile, she was stood shyly in the door way with red puffy eyes and wet cheeks from crying. She stood to the side letting me walk in shutting the door behind me and locking it again to stop the others from coming in, not looking at me once.
Neither of us knew really what to say or well I didn’t, then Emma spoke first. “So how have you been Harry?”
“Me?! Well honestly I have been nothing, I’m so sorry Emma I really am! I can’t believe you have done this on your own I thought you would have just found new friends and forgotten all about us and well kept me from her.”
“I would never do that!” She interrupted me. “I could never hide her from her dad ever; no child deserves to grow up not knowing about their Dad.” We stood in silence again for a few seconds. “Listen Harry I know what has happened has messed everything up and I hate it so much it’s un true and I would love for this all to go away and for us to go back to before all this but I know that can’t happen because we don’t want to same thing so maybe it’s better if I just leave, would that make it easier?” She asked looking in the mirror and wiping her mascara stains furiously.
“What no Emma I want the same as you, I want to go back to the way things were I wish this never happened and I want to do everything possible to change what happened I have since it happened, I am so sorry.”
“Well that’s a load of rubbish! If you wanted to change things you would have! You would have come and found me not left me to fight it all on my own, to go through finding a new life for OUR child, for trying my best to be a good parent to OUR child to do everything on my own for OUR daughter praying one day I wouldn’t have to do it alone but that day never came Harry all because of you! So this time I don’t think sorry is enough!” She shouted at me fiercely and angrily coming so close to me I could feel her breath on my face.
Ever seen those moments in films when they fight and are shouting then he kisses her and everything goes alright? Well that’s what I felt like doing right now but I needed to explain just kissing her can’t do that and we weren’t in a movie this was real life.
“I’m beyond sorry Emma but I did come try find you, I searched for so long but no matter who I asked, where I went I couldn’t find you at all I asked old friends, family and well anyone, I’ve been a wreck since you left fighting with the boys all the time being just a full on dick to everyone all because I hated myself for everything I have done but it’s true that if I could have changed everything I would have.”
“You tried to find me?” She whimpered in the quietest voice I have ever heard her speak in.
“I love you remember, of course I did try look for you and change everything and when I say I love you I mean every word.” I admitted smiling as I saw the corners of her mouth twitching upwards. “And before you say what about your fans and management well if they really cared this won’t matter because all that matters right now is I put everything right now, so please can I at least see that smile.” She smiled a smile big enough to show her weak dimples that looked like they had been hidden for a long time while running forward closing the gap between us wrapping her arms around me as I enclosed her in mine keeping tight hold, I could feed her tears drip onto my shirt but that just made me want to hold her closer. “And what I’m saying is not just words I will fix this Emma I promise.” I whispered looking down on her and kissing her forehead.
“You have no idea how long I have hoped someone would tell me that.” She replied looking up meeting her lips with mine setting the magic off, the magical feeling I could never feel with anyone else.
“Urm can any of you guys hear owt now?” I asked ear pressed up against the bath room door.
“Nope I wish they would bloody speak up a bit!” Eloise moaned, she was pressed up against the door while sat on my shoulders.
“I know right wait I think I heard her say something then!” Zayn whispered he was on pressed against the floor trying to peak under the door.
“Ow Louis you’re hurting my back!” Liam moaned, he was pressed against the door next to me on his hands and knees with Louis on his back holding a glass against the door apparently it helps.
“Shut up moaning Liam! Spies do not moan!” He replied with in his ‘super hero voice’.
I pulled away from Harry star struck I hadn’t felt a kiss like that for so long I could still feel his lips lingering on mine as I spoke. “Wow.” Was all we could both say smiling. We both sat in the bath room for ages talking, I was mostly telling Harry about Rosie including stories about her and what she was like.
“And I have to say I’m quite worried she is going to grow up with your flirty skills.” I explained making Harry chuckle.
“Well I’m going to warn her early about boys I know what we are like and if anyone hurts her it’s going to be game over time for him!” Harry said wow turning into an overprotective parent already.
“Yes remember I have 5 guys for best friends and you haven’t even met her yet so don’t get too over protective.”
“True so when do I get to meet her?” He asked looking hopeful.
“Very soon, not today though I want to explain to her first and then I want us to do this whole getting her used to everything first slowly, give it a while before we make this public if that’s okay?” I asked him.
“Of course it is we are going to do this properly and right!” I smiled I just wanted things to go right for once while trying to stay positive. “Also I was wondering what about us next?” He asked breaking the question I had also been wondering.
“Well I think we should do the same, go slow do nothing yet and when everything is sorted see what happens with us yeah?” I didn’t want to rush anything, I could see the obvious drop of Harry’s smile but when he saw me looking put it back up.
“Yes we’re doing this right.” We sat for a bit just doing nothing but being happily in each other’s arms, the silence wasn’t awkward though more comfortable. After a few minutes we decided to make an experience since I had to leave soon anyway.
We were all pressed against the door trying to listen in. With some of us on shoulders, some on backs and some closer to the ground, I was on top of Liam obviously trying to get the best hearing spot. “Shh I think I can hear them better!” Zayn said shhing us all up while we waited, I could hear footsteps coming towards the door.
“Shit they’re coming out retreat!” I whispered loudly straining my voice. Everyone panicked of course and with everyone on top of each other no one could move. “Liam I’m falling!” I mid shouted as Liam wobbled tripping over Niall sending me flying towards the door just as it opened.
“Ow.” We all said in unison lying on the floor. I looked up at my dazed surroundings to see Harry and Emma looking down on us arms crossed with eye brows raised trying to hold in their laughter. “Oh hi guys fancy seeing you here we were just checking how sound proof the bath room was for urm Emma’s shower singing again.” I lied.
“Lou that was worse than my lie!” Zayn mumbled from under the pile of people.
“Shut up Zayn! I have no idea what he is on about!” I acted shocked standing up and brushing myself down.
*Emma’s POV* - 1 month later.
*Bring bring!* “MUMMYY PHONE!” Rosie shouted at the top of her voice while sitting right next to the phone, charming.
“Hello?” I said answering it resting it in the curve of my neck as I collected my keys, phone, purse ect into my bag.
“Hey Em you ready nearly Harry is spazzing out right now and worrying.” I chuckled at Louis.
“I’m not spazzing out I’m just nervous!” I heard him shout in the back ground.
“As you can see spazzing out here.” Louis repeated.
“Ahah so he is nervous about meeting a 3 year old?” I chuckled. I heard more mumbling and shouting form Harry until Louis returned.
“He told me to tell you in his exact words ‘I’m not spazzing out don’t listen to the fucking Carrot boy’ how rude!” I laughed at them both.
“Just tell him to stop being worried Rosie is really really excited.” We spoke for a bit longer and then Rosie and I left for their house.
I knocked on the large door and waited taking a deep breath as Niall answered. “Rosiee!” He shouted picking her up and spinning her around, kissing her on the cheek as she giggled “You excited girl?” He asked still spinning her as she nodded waving her arms in the air before he put her down.
“Hey where’s my hug and spin and kiss on the cheek!” I mocked hurt.
“Haha it’s good to see you again Emma.” He said hugging me and kissing my cheek, true gentlemen.
We walked in to the hall way closing the door behind me I was trying to do deep breaths. “Emma, will you stop worrying your sucking in all the air in the room with your deep breaths!” Niall joked charming. I playfully hit him on the arm as Eloise came out.
“Finally!” She shouted running over picking Rosie us and copying Niall, nice to know my friends love my kid more than me.
“Hello still here?” I pointed out reminding her causing her put Rosie down giving me a hug.
“You ok?” She whispered into my ear. I did an uneasy nod in reply.
“I’ll just go tell the others your here, come through when you’re ready.” Niall said heading through the door Eloise had come through. We spent about 5 minutes of Eloise reassuring me it would be fine and Rosie moaning to hurry up before we finally entered me holding Rosie’s hand as we followed Eloise through the door.
“Hey guys look who is here!” She said entering before with us followed closely behind but slowly. Everyone stood up from their seats in a shot Harry stood in the middle.
“Hey urm Harry this is Rosie and well Rosie you know who this is.” I said pulling Rosie out from behind me her smile growing bigger than ever before reviling her dimples.
I looked up to see Harry’s reaction his face looked shocked before his smile grew into a grin you know that special one the reaches your ears nearly with his eyes glistening partly from the look of tears building up and part from happiness by the looks of it.
“Hello beautiful!” He said bending down opening his arms as Rosie let go of my hand running towards her dad wrapping her small arms around his neck making him pick her up still both grinning.
I felt a hand touch my shoulder and turned to see Louis stood smiling with tears resting on his eyes, he wrapped his arms around me staring at Harry laughing with Rosie; a moment I would remember for the rest of my life.
I walked in to the room leaving Eloise and Emma alone for a bit. Everyone’s head turned when I entered but relaxed when they saw it was just me. “She is just talking to Eloise for a second.” I reassured them.
“What so Rosie isn’t here?!” Harry panicked.
“No she is stop worrying and she looks excited so stop worrying she will love you.” I reassured him sitting down on the leather seats joining everyone.
“But what if she doesn’t, what if I panic when I see her and just worry, what if I can’t do it, I can’t be her dream Dad.” He continued to panic.
“Harry breath keep calm she will love you and you will be a great Dad as long as you’re always there for her now.” Zayn reassured him he was all soppy when he came to kids and babies, he loved them.
He nodded in reply taking really big breaths while tapping his foot which was really beginning to piss me off. Suddenly I heard the door open and everyone turned towards the door to see Eloise walking in smiling.
“Guys look who’s here.” She said moving to the side as Emma walked in with behind her little Rosie looking around the big room around her until Emma brought her forward for her eyes to meet Harry’s and I swear that was it Harry had nothing to be worried about her little eyes lit up with such joy and happiness as did Harry’s as she ran towards him arms open wide as he picked her up hugging her so tight grinning.
I walked over to Eloise and wrapped my arms around her waist kissing her forehead as we watched. I noticed Louis hugging Emma next to me as he wiped her eyes that spilled tears before she walked towards Harry and Rosie, when she did Harry looked up smiling as he rocked a laughing Rosie from side to side holding her tight against his chest as a few small tears of happiness drifted down his cheeks. “Thank you.” I noticed him whispered to Emma as he put one arm around her pulling her into the joint hug with Rosie.
Everything looked like it was going to be okay, they already looked like a family with a little girl. I hugged Eloise tighter in my arms as I realised that is what I wanted in my life because when you have a family and moments like this happen nothing else matters, everything is perfect. “I love you Eloise.” I whispered into her ear with her replying them same three words in return, and from that moment I knew I wanted it with her.
Tonight couldn’t have gone more perfect Harry and Rosie’s first ever meeting was so amazing it was untrue, they both seemed to fall in love with each other within seconds of seeing each other. I heard light snoring followed by heavy loud snores next to me, the light snores coming from a sleeping small Rosie while she laid half on the beast making the inhuman snores also known as Louis, while the other half was laid on Harry who sat staring just like me at Louis wondering if the noises were signs he was about to change into some sort of hulk.
“I think I’m going to go put Rosie in my bed away from Louis.” Harry said picking up the sleeping girl resting her on his shoulder careful not to wake the monster I call my cousin. I smiled at Harry and mouthed ‘Thank you’ as he walked with her towards the room Rosie opening one eye sleepily when he did blowing me a sleepy kiss which I returned before they disappeared out of the room.
I couldn’t help but admire how Harry looked so much like he had known his daughter his whole life and the way he looked at her, his eyes full of protection and love it just confused me slightly, leaving me wondering what would happen in the future, would he keep that same look in his eyes and be there for her now or was it only temporary.
“You alright there Emma?” I heard a voice from behind me taking me out of my trail of thoughts.
“Urm yes I’m fine Zayn just thinking.” I mumbled.
“You know everything will be ok now, I know you have been through a lot in the past few years and your unsure about doing all this but you’re doing the right thing, I can see this is what you really want a little family with Harry with your friends, back to life how it used to be a few years ago.” He was right, did he turn into the old wise one while I was gone.
“You sound like Yoda.” I giggled as the thought came into my head randomly for some unknown reason making Zayn laugh while looking beyond confused.
“You are a weird one Emma.”
“Hey you’re the one sounding like Yoda!” I protested.
“Yes well stop changing the subject I think you and I both know it’s only a matter of time now, not going to be long now.” So he was bringing the mysterious in him out now.
“Matter of time for what Yoda?” I smiled as I wiggled my eye brows.
“You know a matter of time till everyone goes back to normal and you and Harry get back together and everything is a fairytale!” He raised his arms out in the air for a dramatic affect knocking Niall’s popcorn slightly.
“Hey watch it man you nearly lost me all my popcorn!” Niall complained.
“Sorry man.” Zayn apologised turning back to me. “You know I’m right.” He quickly replied taking a hand full of Niall’s popcorn running off before I or Niall could protest.
I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder turning me around to see Harry. “Hey can we talk outside for a second?” He whispered for me smiling, oh no is he going to tell me now he can’t be there for Rosie and wants me to leave again. I could feel my stomach fill with butterflies and nerves but I nodded standing up and heading out the door following Harry’s steps. My trust issues as a result from the past years were showing a lot right now
We both walked outside into the garden area, closing the door behind myself I stood in complete silence not looking up praying he was not about to say what I was thinking but he didn’t speak just stood looking at me messing with the arms on his jacket.
“Harry, please if you’re going to say what I think you are just get it over with so I can go get Rosie and leave before it’s too late.” I sighed the feeling of disappointment taking over me.
“What are you on about? Why would you take her? I thought it went great!” He looked confused walking towards me putting his hand under my chin forcing our eyes to meet.
“You’re going to say you can’t do it aren’t you? You can’t deal with it all being a Dad and things.” I traitor tear escaped down my cheek.
“No no way! Emma you’ve got it all wrong, I wanted to thank you so much for today letting me meet her and everything it was magical she is amazing you’ve done such a great job with her on your own, but now I want to help, I want to be there and I want to tell you I am going to be.” He protested making me smile all feelings of disappointment disappearing replaced with pure happy feelings.
I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out I had that feeling of relief and surprise. I smiled as he pulled me into a hug reminding me of old memories. “Harry..” I started with the only word I could get out as I stayed rocking in his protective arms.
“Thank you so much but I’m so scared of things not working out like what about your fans and what people will think? What are we going to do when everyone finds out?” I was scared for the future and what would occur then, the thought hadn’t left my mind for days now.
“Stop worrying, everything will work out, the fans will love her and if they don’t then I don’t want them as my fans and I will protect Rosie and you through this if you get hate or anything I will stand up for you, I’m not have you doing it on your own anymore.” Harry comforted me kissing my forehead.
There was one last thing bothering me though leaving me thinking. “And what about us now?” I asked quietly looking up to Harry.
“I never fell out of love with you Emma I’m still really in love with you and want to be with you but I want to do it in your own time so when you’re ready.”
“I always have and always will love you Harry and being with you would be perfect but I’m just scared.”
“Then let’s be together but not make it public to everyone, we could tell our closest friends when you’re ready and tell everyone when you’re ready!” A smile began to tug on the sides of my mouth that’s exactly what I had hoped he would say.
“I would really like that.” I whispered letting the smile take over at the exact same time as Harry’s cheeky grin appeared reaching as far as possible as he lifted me up spinning me around like a kid causing me to erupt into laughter until I felt his lips press against mine in mid-air sending shivers down my spine and goose bumps to rise all over my arms.
I kissed him back keeping contact as he slowly placed me to the floor smiling this is exactly what I wanted, what I had wanted for since the day I left.
*Next day – Liam’s POV*
I rubbed my eyes sleepily turning over in my bed. I saw my alarm clock flashing the red numbers ‘9:00AM’ on the front, quite early for a day off but I wasn’t getting back to sleep now, I staggered out of my room still slightly sleepy.
“Vas appenin?!” Zayn shouted in my face as I walked into the kitchen.
“Morning Zayn.” I mumbled back as I went to put the kettle on and grab myself some food before everyone else came.
“I’m just popping out to get some bits from the shop before it gets too busy I’ll be back soon!” He shouted as he pulled his coat on and left before I even got the chance to say good bye charming.
I grabbed my toast off the side and sat down on the high breakfast bar stool taking a sip of my tea. “Morning Liam!” I heard behind me as someone grabbed a slice of my toast.
“Oi that’s mine!” I protested watching Niall stuff it into his mouth mumbling a ‘tough’ looking at his phone.
I mumbled some gibberish words at him watching him relax on one of the chairs opposite me still on his phone most likely on twitter, he was always on twitter. “Anything happening in the world of Twitter today?” I asked watching as he scrolled down.
“Urm not sure just reading some of my mentions not tweeted or looked at trending topics yet.” He replied still not taking his eyes off the screen.
“Ok by the way did you notice Harry and Emma last night?” I asked him making conversation.
“Yeah they are defiantly back together they were outside for ages and when they came back I don’t think the smiles left each other’s faces, plus they looked really close and cute when Rosie first met Harry.” I chuckled knowing I wasn’t the only one who noticed, we all knew it was going to happen now we just had to pretend we didn’t know and wait till they tell us.
I made us both some more toast chatting about other pointless things while everyone else was still nowhere to be seen still in bed by the looks of things. Suddenly I heard the door fly open down the hall making me jump slightly followed by running towards the room we were in; Zayn was home.
“Bloody hell Zayn quieten down everyone is still sleeping!” Niall half shouted at him while trying to strain his voice looking confused at Zayn who was panting as if he had been running while holding a bunch of magazines. “And why are you panting did you get mobbed again?”
“No…I..” He was panting a great deal like he had full on sprinted here while indicating to the magazines which he threw onto the breakfast bar. “..that!” was all he said pointing to the laid out magazines on the kitchen side.
I pulled one from the pile in front of me while Niall did the same with the other only to be more than shocked by the front cover. ‘Harry Styles returning to the old or starting with the new?’ Was the headline at the top in big letters with underneath and picture of Harry in the garden with the back head of a blonde girl, it was Emma with Harry snaking his arms around her and kissing her forehead.
“Oh my god they’ve been papped!” Niall shouted looking at his front cover which read ‘Styles steals blonde curls heart once again!’ with the same picture but with them kissing. I skipped a few pages to the article inside seeing the same title again followed by a large centre of text which read.. ‘Last night boy band member of One Direction; Harry Styles was snapped in the back garden of his house which shared by the 5 band members, kissing and cuddling a young curly blonde haired girl. The girl is still unknown as her face was hidden when they were snapped, however it is rumoured that Mr Styles has found and is back together with ex blonde Emma Tomlinson who he broke up with 3 years ago leaving no one to have heard from her since after she deleted her Twitter and was never snapped in public again with Mr Styles, cousin Louis Tomlinson and best friends Liam Payne, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik and Niall Horan’s current girlfriend Eloise. The young girl snapped in the picture follows the description of Emma Tomlinson with the long blonde curly hair and tall frame however it has also been rumoured that the flirty Harry has been a bit of a player with girls over the past few months and that the young blonde is his new soon to be proberly heartbroken model.’
Next to the article was the same picturing from Niall’s front cover except larger surrounded by various small photos of them hugging before returning back inside the house. “Shit do they all say the same thing?” I asked finished the article.
“Pretty much just talking about how it is rumoured to be Emma and some rumours it’s just some slag but one shocking one says it’s a bloody prostitute!” Zayn replied indicating to the pile which now had been spread out revealing there was more that I thought.
“What are we going to do? Shall we tell them, shall we tell the fans it’s a lie or get Harry to or should we leave it?” Niall asked unsure picking up the magazine I had just read.
“Tell who what guys?” I heard someone say behind me. I hid the magazine I was holding out of view hoping it wasn’t Emma or Harry yet only to turn around to see Louis rubbing his sleepy eyes.
We all sighed with relief, slightly calming down and passing him the magazine I was holding. He slowly opened his eyes more as he read the title on the front skipping a few pages to the text inside. Taking a few seconds to take it all in and read it. “Bloody hell! Is this from today?!” He asked not taking his eyes off it.
“Yeah they’re all like that.” Zayn replied again as he picked all the magazines up and put them into a pile.
“MORNING EVERYONE!” A small familiar voice smoke as it came in.
“Hey it’s Rosie and Emma!” Niall said giving us wide eyes as he ran forward hugging them distracting them while we searched for somewhere to hide except we could only panic until Louis just grabbed them and dived behind the big sofa holding them just as Emma pushed Niall off.
“Niall we can’t breathe!” she chuckled pushing him off.
“Stupid Uncle Niall I could have died!” Rosie protested hitting his knee while laughing. Leaving Niall doing an uneven laugh while searching for where Louis had gone obviously not seen him launch behind the sofa with the magazines where he was now hiding. I looked at Niall and did a sort of head nod towards behind the chair to indicate where he was.
“Good night last night wasn’t it?” Emma said placing Rosie on the counter while getting a glass of juice.
“Yeah it was great, guessing you enjoyed it?” Zayn said winking at her implying that he knew she and Harry are back on from the story receiving a kick in the back of the leg from me.
“Yes it was great wasn’t it Rosie, meeting Daddy and everything?” She said as Rosie nodded in reply sipping the last of her juice. “Thought so, anyway I said a quick bye to Harry and Eloise because we’ve got to get going, we’ve got Play School for Rosie but I can’t seem to find Louis.” She examined the room looking for him as we joined in pretending to be confused.
“HEY I CAN SEE HIM!” Rosie suddenly shouted pointing to a foot pointing out from behind the chair, crap.
“Louis what are you doing?” Emma asked walking over and ticking his feet making him shoot up.
“Oh urm just urm checking to see if the floor was clean.” He said pulling his foot away while laughing at Emma as I noticed him slide the magazines under the chair out of view.
“Right well we should get going see you all later!” Emma said picking up her bag and swinging it over her shoulder turning around to pick Rosie up, except see she was more interested in getting tickled and playing with Louis who was ticking her stomach while holding her upside down shrieking with laughter.
“Fine you can carry her out the door then!” She said walking to the door with Louis following behind, maybe we could get away with this without anyone knowing. I sighed with relief at the thought until I noticed Zayn’s eyes wide open with worry seconds before sprinting to the door blocking it from Emma’s exit. “What are you doing Zayn we really need to go?”
“Urm no you can’t urgh I don’t, I can’t, you just, can’t ok?!” Zayn replied still keeping his hold on the strong door frame.
“Don’t be so silly!” She replied with pushing Zayn to the side opening the door to be met by flashing lights; cameras the paparazzi were here taking pictures, oh shit.
I grabbed a stunned Emma pulling her back out of the cameras sight as she stood there stunned and Zayn slammed the door shut cursing. My next thought was to Rosie but when I looked over I found Louis was hiding with her well back inside the room, well at least one of them didn’t get spotted.
Emma’s face was just a sheet of white not saying anything but her face said it all inside she was panicking like crazy. “Emma it’s all going to be ok they didn’t spot Rosie!” Zayn said grabbing Emma by the sides shaking her slightly bringing her back to reality but as calmly as possible knowing she was about to freak while she just shook her head from side to side.
“The cameras why are they here? They..oh god they just caught me on fucking camera where is Rosie?!” Emma shouted searching for Rosie around the room running over to Louis and her when she saw them.
“It’s okay Emma when I twigged what Zayn was doing I hid in the kitchen no one saw her I swear!” Louis tried to reassure her again but it was no use she was in panic mode hyperventilating babbling her thoughts.
“What the hell is going on, why are they here? They know I’m here they know it’s me! Oh fuck it’s all going to come out, Rosie is never going to be a normal child now this is why I didn’t want this!” She shouted at the speed of lightening trying to take Rosie off Louis with her hands shaking. I couldn’t take it anymore she was going into overdrive.
I grabbed her arms by her sides which were flying everywhere pulling them to her sides as she shook and resisted shh’ing her as I did, once her arms were at her side I wrapped them fully around her wrapping her in a tight hold from behind while she fought against me, I could feel tears springing off her eyes clashing against my bare arms.
“Emma it’s all going to be okay calm down please it’s all going to be fine!” I announced as she nearly got free from my grip reaching for Rosie, I hated holding her apart from her but she was too hysterical right now and it was upsetting Rosie slightly.
“Niall go wake up Eloise now, Zayn go wake up Harry quickly explain what’s happened to them and get them in here and Louis take Emma into my room or something she can play with my play dough and Buzz Lightyear!” I instructed with them nodding in reply and shooting off in different directions, Emma’s little legs collapsing underneath her, a sign of her giving up as she just began to sob freely.
“Why is this happening I just wanting things to go back to normal?” She wept as I turned her around comforting her in a tight embrace. Life really isn’t fair sometimes. I just wanted to wish this all away now it was so horrible. “I just want it all to go right for once.”
“You got caught on camera last night babe…” I began to explain.
I did a long yawn, Emma and Rosie had just left wishing me a quick good bye before leaving for play school, lucky people that place is amazing they have everything and you don’t have to worry about a thing.
I smiled thinking about things going great now. I turned over to my bedside table to see my phone lying there, I decided to pick it up and tweet some fans since I was in such a good mood. I clicked on the familiar blue bird and waited for my time line to load up revealing a list of fans tweeting about there every day lives. I decided to join them and tweet morning first to set my mentions coming in. ‘Morning everybody! How’s everyone? Really fancy a Kinder Egg but can’t get up yet!’ I tweeted hearing my stomach rumble at the thought of food.
It didn’t take long for the mentions to come flooding in, god they were quick. I smiled as I tweeted a few of the first random ones back until I realised I was getting the same question a lot more than usual, something about a photo, asking about if it was me in the photo. I replied to one girl asking ‘What photo was everyone on about?’ I waited for loads of the twit pics to be sent to me and decided to check the trending topics to see if that showed anything while I waited.
Some were random and meant nothing to me and then some popped out two of them ‘PlayerStyles’ and ‘Harrys girlfriend’ were both trending. I looked confused at the screen, what was happening? I needed my laptop to look properly since my phone was going too slow.
I thought of to where my laptop would be when I heard mumbled shouting outside my room, what are they fighting about now who ate the last piece of cold pizza from last night probably. I decided to ignore it until I heard crying not the boys crying but a girl crying. Had something happened with Eloise? I threw my covers off myself about to go investigate before Zayn came crashing into my room.
“Harry we need you out here! Emma is in hysterics!” He said but quickly closed the door behind himself looking like he was about to let out a long explanation. “You two got papped yesterday in the back garden kissing and there is pictures everywhere but they didn’t get Emma’s face..” He began but I interrupted.
“What?! No one else was there though! Are you sure they didn’t spot her?” I asked I swear no one else was there.
“Well they didn’t until she opened the front door to leave and all the paparazzi were there and snapped her picture!”
“THEY DID WHAT?!” I shouted as the word ‘fuck’ repeated in my mind over and over again at full speed. “Did they see Rosie?!” The only other thought popped up.
“No her they didn’t, you can thank Louis for that he ran with her and hid realising before she opened the door but Harry right now Emma is going mental she needs you!” Zayn replied taking me back to reality. I quickly walked past him towards the door but I was stopped when it opened a second time to Louis holding Rosie who was crying.
“She wants her Dad she’s scared.” was all Louis said rubbing her little back breaking my heart.
A little girl crying her eyes out is hard enough to look at but when it’s your own daughter it just destroys you. I quickly took her off Louis resting her on my shoulder comforting her innocent cries. “Shh it’s okay Daddy is going to sort everything don’t worry, Mummy is just a bit upset right now but I will sort everything no need to worry sweetie.” I whispered rocking her slightly kissing her forehead softly as she seemed to calm more and stop crying. “Now can I see that cheeky smile?” she did as I asked showing a row of small teeth before I kissed her on the cheek.
I quickly passed her back to Louis once she was happy again before leaving to find Emma. I hadn’t met Rosie long ago but already I felt a Father-Daughter bond between us and I knew I would do anything to protect her, I loved her just like her Mum and I highly regret what I did and forever will so now I need to fix it, I need to do anything I can to fix everything.
Every single feeling of hope and belief I had in my body was broken, destroyed, gone le dead. I had been snapped, the photos would be leaked any second now, the rumours had probably been confirmed, it was all over for me to carry on quietly. I just wish everything would go slow and quietly, we hadn’t even told the boys or Eloise that Harry and I were back together and soon the whole World would know as papers, magazines, online blogs and twitters filled with the pictures.
As for Rosie well if I had been spotted and found out so easily there was no chance for her. I would probably never be able to come round here with her normally any more, be able to go out with her or have Harry visiting her without everyone finding out who she was and we had a baby girl. The secret was going to get out. My life and hers would never be normal again and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.
I suddenly felt Liam stop rocking, I was still sat on the floor in his arms as he ‘shh’d’ me and told me everything would be okay, I wasn’t really listening to a word he said, after he finished explaining everything that had happened I just gave up and only listened to my thoughts. He was adorable Liam he was probably the most mature out of the boys and when you just wanted to cry and be comforted he was like an older brother as well as a best friend.
I felt his grip loosen around me, he whispered into my ear “Don’t worry it’s all going to be ok” into my ear before letting go of me, my body not bothering to hold itself up as I let it just fall to the floor until I felt a second pair of arms engulf me into their tight hold, a familiar pair of big hands rubbing my sides and the amazing feeling of soft lips kissing my forehead I knew who it was.
I looked up and my assumptions were confirmed Harry had replaced Liam’s place looking down at me with loving eyes. The tears I was failing to hold in which had fallen so many times fell hard again letting his bluely green eyes meet mine. I just let the sadness fall out of me and cried into his chest. I suddenly felt wet drops landing on my head, Harry was crying as well, full on crying.
I looked up to see his eyes dripping as he pulled one arm up whipping away the tears. “I’m so sorry Emma, I really am, I am the reason you have spilled so many tears and it just breaks my heart.” He quivered. “I’ve just seen Rosie crying and that nearly destroyed me and now seeing you crying is killing me, I just want you both to be happy and everything to be good.” He sounded so helpless. “And I’m going to promise you I will sort this out for you and her.” I couldn’t say anything his warming words, how adorable he looked it was so shocking yet so heart warming. “I will forever regret what I’ve done and it would mean the world to me if you would let me fix everything!”
I smiled up at him, all of a sudden I didn’t feel so scared of the future, I knew Harry was there to help me and that was all I needed he was going to get me through this. “As long as I have you we will make it through this and sort it out.” I whispered bringing my lips to his.
“Do you think she will leave again Zayn?” Louis mid whispered to me so Rosie didn’t hear since she was sat on my lap playing on the games on my I-phone shockingly 3 year olds know how to work technology.
“No we won’t let her Louis don’t worry, Harry won’t let it happen as well, he has fallen in love with her all over again and this time I think he has fallen harder and with this one there is no way he will let them go!” I replied indicating to Rosie on my knee.
“Zayn’s right don’t worry man.” Liam added taking over mine and Louis conversation letting me zone out, concentrating on my thoughts. I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen next, would everything come out about Emma, would everyone find out about Rosie.
Stop, there was no point thinking of these thoughts just hope everything that happens is for the good. I tried to stop the running questions and looked at everyone else; Eloise was wrapped up in Niall’s arms deep in conversation, Louis and Liam continued to talk, Harry and Emma were still in the living room and well Rosie she was happily on my phone pla..WHAT THAT’S NOT GAMES THAT’S MY TEXTS!
I snatched the phone off her as gently as I could with an uneven laugh. “Urm Rosie how on earth did you get past my password?” I asked completely baffled checking it was all set up with the privacy settings.
“Hehe it’s a secret.” She giggled leaving me baffled, I once found Niall trying to figure it out for an hour and Rosie had just gone and done it in seconds leaving me baffled and panicking on what texts she might have seen. “By the way who is Malaikah?” Damn.
“Who urm she urm is a friend.” I stuttered.
She raised her small eye brow at me when I said that. “Ok you won’t mind me asking Mummy and Daddy about her then.” Dear Lord I should have known it’s Emma and Harry’s child, most likely a soon to be secret mischievous mastermind.
“No no don’t want to worry them about that now do we, how about we make it our little secret just between us.”
“Ok I will…” Thank god “..but you know I really could use with some more chocolate maybe a new Barbie, would be a shame if I didn’t have them to distract me and I get bored and it slips out.”
E V I L C H I L D.
“Fine! That can be organised!” I smiled as she looked satisfied and nodded climbing off my knee and jumping on Louis as the door opened.
I felt Harry’s supportive arms on my waist after he put his phone away in his pocket, finished with his call.
“There setting up an interview for us, they think it will either be tomorrow or later today.” He whispered giving me a bit of a squeeze noticing my nervousness while I bit my nails, a habit I only do if I’m scared.
I swallowed my uneven breath we had to do it we had to tell everyone at least some truth before rumours got out and made it worse. I didn’t say a word just let Harry guide me into the back room where everyone else was waiting, him opening the door as the many thoughts drifted through my head again.
I didn’t look up as everyone explained, I could just hear mumbled voices around me of everyone talking, probably Harry explaining but I wasn’t listening to a word until I felt a nudge. “You know we don’t have to.” Harry whispered into my ear.
“No it’s fine we have to now, there are pictures we need to tell everyone at least half the truth.” I replied I was sort of ready for everyone to find out about Harry and I back together but about Rosie no way. Not now.
“Mummy guess what Zayn’s getting me a new Barbie!” Rosie shouted running over to me smiling confusing me. I looked at Zayn weirdly.
I walked down the corridor searching for the familiar sign of the men toilets. We were about to get interviewed live on TV after everything that had happened. The word seemed to get out quick once Emma had been confirmed to be inside the house and soon loads of reporters were outside leaving us having to call the police to get them to leave.
Rumours had been spreading quickly, twitter was going mental with questions and everyone just wanted an answer. Simon had even rung Harry to find out what was going on and organised us with an interview to answer all the questions.
I knew how nervous Emma was, she used to be fine around the fans, most of them loved her back when she was with Harry but I guess things could change big time if they found out about Rosie, yes we love our fans and would do just about anything for them but when they start sending abuse to the ones you love it upsets you so we try to hide girlfriends from everything at first.
I whistled to myself not really paying attention to where I was going just trying to figure out what sort of questions we would be asked in the interview, proberly about the recent rumours. I suddenly felt my body collide with someone else’s knocking us both back.
“Ahh crap I’m sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I said picking up the various pieces of paper and things they had dropped.
“Oh no sorry it was my fault I’m so clumsy.” A young girl’s voice replied back.
“Haha I know the feeling.” I replied as I picked up the last bits before.
“God cursing you with forever clumsy skills as well then?” The voice spoke again followed by a cute bubbly giggle. I smiled at her cute giggle before looking up to see her face. She had long curly hair that fell passed her shoulders with a pair of big green eyes.
I noticed her jaw drop slightly as she saw me, I knew what was coming next the ‘Oh my god you’re Liam Payne can I have your autograph!’ line.
“I’m Vanessa but you can call me Nessa.” She smiled holding her hand out which I took happily in mine and shook politely. I was so certain she knew who I was but she hadn’t said a thing.
“Urm hi I’m Liam you can call me Liam.” I joked as I helped her up still holding onto some of the items she had dropped.
“Alright then Liam nice to meet you, I really wish I could stay and talk longer but I have to go.” She replied taking the pieces of various papers off me and walking off before I could say a word.
“Okay promise me you want me to do this and you’re okay with it?” I asked down the phone.
“Yes just let it be over with, I don’t want people to get more suspicious and start asking more questions Harry I can’t have everyone finding out about Rosie.” Emma replied.
“Alright well I have to go get ready now, I promise everything will be okay don’t worry and I will ring you straight after, I love you.”
“I believe you and I love you too” Them last three words sent the butterflies off once again, that feeling never got old.
I put the phone down and started pacing up and down the room waiting for the call to the interview. “Harry mate sit down you’re worrying us here!” Louis said biting his nails a habit of his.
I couldn’t get more worried, I felt like I had worry bugs eating me inside. I needed something to take my mind of things and quick before we got called in. I looked around to see Zayn snoring slightly next to me I had a plan, it wasn’t too evil though.
Only a minute now until we have to go for the live interview. Liam had just returned from god knows where looking slightly puzzled yet happy, well this is a change, it has to be big if it’s puzzling him slightly, he seems to know what to do about nearly everything.
I was about to go talk to him when we got called in to take our places while adverts were on. The nerves showed then as I stuttered but kept myself strong. I stood up with a nod from Louis indicating towards the door him putting his arm behind me patting my back reassuringly.
*BANG!* “Ow! What the fuck! RIGHT WHO TIED MY SHOE LACE TOGETHER?!” Zayn shouted as he struggled to untie my triple knot as we all burst out laughing.
“I have no idea what you’re on about!” I said innocently shouted out of them room before he could accuse me.
I sat quickly in the chair and waited for the questions.
I returned from putting Rosie down to sleep to see the adverts just finished, here we go. I sat down next to Eloise on the comfy sofa, she had decided to come round to watch it with me for today. I hated the thought of having to listen to this presenter women talk in her overly happy voice, I hated her voice I’m not sure why but the way they talk all posh and giggle weirdly was so annoying, it just all seemed so fake. Presenters should at least be happy and look like they honestly care. I could even do a better job, at least I could think of some way to keep the audience entertained, maybe change my accent from time to time to confuse them.
My train of thoughts was interrupted by that rude voice bringing me back to reality and away from my dream world of being a TV presenter.
“Right ladies get ready to scream ‘cause here is One Direction!” The women announced as the camera zoomed out onto them all, I could see Harry was nervous but hiding it well enough so no one else would really notice.
At first the normal questions were asked which I think relaxed him more but left me more anxious, I just wanted them to ask that dreaded question already.
“Right, now let’s clear up a few rumours shall we? I think we all know you guys have been in the papers a bit more than usual this week, especially with Harry.” The women said in her calm voice causing me to tense with her stupid suspension skills CURSE YOU ITV1 PRESENTERS! It’s like X Factor all over again!
“Yeah we’ve had a bit of extra rumours going around this week.” Niall replied for him keeping the image looking calm.
“There has been a lot of rumours come from this picture firstly.” The women began as a picture flashed up on the TV in between them, it was of me and Harry kissing in the back garden. “And then this picture, both of your ex Emma Tomlinson am I right?” Then a picture of me flashed up stunned looking towards the cameras when I opened the door, which was the first time I had ever seen that one and dear god it was bad. “So urm care to explain the situation for us all.” Her voice was annoying me now it was like she was a police officer in search for that important vital information.
Eloise gave my hand a reassuring squeeze which I replied with a small smile. They all looked towards Harry as he did his awkward cough clearing his throat. “Yes your right that is my ex Emma well was my ex I can confirm we are now back happily together.” He said smiling looking relieved to get the information out.
“Aw how cute, no one has seen her for so long though with you guys, what happened?”
“Well Emma is my cousin and a close friend of all of us so we always knew we would have her back again it just took time because she went away for a bit.” Louis explained not revealing much I’ve taught him well.
“Another question we all want to know is why did she go away and why did you break up because everyone thought you were both the new young couple forever in love.”
Does this woman want to get shot?! Or is she going to shut up taunting and acting.
Everyone stuttered not knowing what to say but me and Harry had planned this, we had been using this lie for so long it felt real “It wasn’t working out then, Emma had found a new job and we just thought it would be the best for us both.” He said it so well it sounded real, so well practised it was untrue. I saw the boys heads drop slightly also noticing how well told the lie, the same lie we had told them. “But that time should never have happened, I regret it and now I just want everything to go back for me and Emma she is just the same and better now.”
That last line did it for me them water layers on my eyes just decided to give up holding still and escape but they were happy tears instead of sad, like relief instead of worry.
“Ok well I think that’s it for today for everything thanks for coming on the show boys…” I was so happy not even her voice could annoy me “…next is cooking with Jenny where today we’re making pasta, stay tuned.” until she did that MOMENT RUINER!
Wow, the way Harry lied then sounded more realistic than the true story itself, it really shocked me. I noticed Louis tense up slightly when the question was asked and Harry answered, he really did find it hard knowing it had been kept hidden from him but he knew and understood why they had.
My mind wandered slightly as I took a seat in our dressing room closing my eyes just to rest them, I was completely knackered. Just as I got comfy I felt something small hit my cheek.
“Ow!” I bumbled opening my eyes picking up the thing thrown at me only to find a bloody mini sausage roll.
“Mate we have company open your eyes.” Niall said sitting down opposite me with the rest of the sausage rolls, don’t think he has heard of the saying ‘sharing is caring’.
I rubbed my eyes and looked up to see her again, Nessa smiling at me, where did she come from?
“Oh hey Nessa, where did you come from?” I asked surprised.
“Well I work here and couldn’t exactly miss the chance to bring One Direction some food could I?” She smiled, so she was a fan! But more a calm fan maybe…
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! I’m talking to Liam Payne and staying calm, I never thought I would be able to do this.
AND NIALL IS EATING MY SAUSAGES!
Woow that sounded so much less dirty a few seconds ago.
“Wait you two know each other?” Louis asked while trying to steal a sausage from Niall.
“NIALL DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!” Niall suddenly shouted at Louis running off with the sausage rolls, guessing he is a food lover.
“Urm yes well sort of, we met earlier in the corridor.” Liam replied smiling making me smile or maybe grin but I looked down.
KEEP THE CALM LOOK!
“Oh right how interesting.” I heard Zayn say next to me, I couldn’t help but notice out of the the corner of my eye him wiggling his eyebrows at Liam.
“So urm where did Harry go?” I heard Liam say making me chuckle at the awkward change of subject.
“Went to go ring Emma see if she is alright, that reminds me I still need to text Eloise.” Niall replied wait what did I miss from the interview when making bloody mini sausages.
“Sorry I’m confused did I miss something, I was getting food together while the interview went on.” I asked.
“Urm yeah I don’t know if you know but Emma who is Harry’s ex is back together with him now and we just told everyone.” Zayn told me, I couldn’t believe it she was back?!
“What she is back? Oh my god I haven’t spoken to her in soo long how is she?” I couldn’t believe it.
“You know her?”
“Yes well sort of me and my friend Louise met her back when her and Harry were first dating and we met up with her a few times and met Eloise once who I’m guessing Niall is still with but then one day when we agreed to meet she rang me up saying she had to leave for a job and wasn’t coming back for a very long time, I don’t know why or anything but aw I’m so glad she is back with Harry and things how did her job go by the way?”
Everyone went silent and kind of looked at each other, had I said something wrong?
“It didn’t fully work out so she is back now.” Louis said with a straight face before standing up and leaving the room, shit I didn’t mean to upset him I had never seen that expression on Louis before, it looked hurt.
“Did I…” I started as Zayn got up to follow him.
“No you didn’t say anything wrong it’s just they are very close, they are cousins you see and he doesn’t like talking about her job because he missed her alot that’s all.” Niall explained “But he will be fine trust me just let him have a few seconds oh and you know Eloise and Emma then wow small World.” Niall said getting us on to the conversation of me knowing them with Niall and Liam.
*Niall’s POV – A week later*
I knocked on the door waiting with Eloise sat under my arm resting her head on my chest while Harry and Louis stood next to us…holding hands…young love I guess.
“Coming one sec!” Emma shouted from the other side of the door. “Bloody hell Rosie I told you to tidy up before Grandma got here!” We heard her shout after a few bangs getting closer to the door.
I chuckled lightly when Emma opened the door clutching her foot and head. “Babe what did you fall over this time?” Eloise laughed walking past her.
“It’s fine just walk past don’t ask if I’m hurt or seriously injured and I did not trip the stupid Barbie decided to just jump out and attack me!” She said moving to the side letting everyone in giving Harry a quick kiss as he entered still holding Louis hand.
“Harry you said I was your only Tomlinson!” Louis gasped at Harry as Emma raised an eyebrow.
“Damn sorry Louis I forget you Tomlinson’s are just too good, looks like you will both have to share the Styles.” Oh god this is too weird I need something to eat.
“Hurry up guys we need to go, Liam won’t be happy if we are late for his Sunday meal.” Yes that is correct Liam had decided to cook us all a Sunday meal and invite round ‘a few people’, in other words Nessa from the other day and Louise her friend.
“Yes well we are just waiting for Anne then we can go.”
“Harry where is your milf?!” Louis questioned him hands on hips receiving a glare from Harry.
It wasn’t long before Anne arrived to take Rosie with her for a day out while we went to eat, about damn time.
“Niall babe you’re drooling again..” Eloise kindly pointed out, yes not just pointed out but sort of announced…to everyone.
“I’m hungry!” I moaned sitting in the car waiting for what seemed like a year for us to get there. I just don’t understand why Liam wouldn’t let me help in the kitchen, I mean I understand with Louis he had a thing with eating all the carrots when he was meant to be pealing them but why me it’s not like I would steal all the food…just some…that no one would miss, like that chicken!
“HIGH YA!” I suddenly heard across from me, where I looked up to see Louis trying to karate chop Emma’s phone out of her hand but failing miserably as the car turned a sharp corner sending him flying.
“WE’RE HERE!” I shouted jumping over Louis and jumping out the door pulling Eloise behind me, think she may have stepped on Louis head.
It’s fine I like being trampled after being thrown off my seat when showing off my brilliant skills of karate. Yes as you might have guessed I’m not only superman but Jackie Chan as well just in disguise so them screaming teenage girls might get a bit of a shock if one of them jumps me again and this time I will not scream and shout ‘STRANGER DANGER!’ at the top of my lungs.
I heard wheezing laughing from Emma and Harry them both stepping over me and running inside trying to catch their breath. Well at least they didn’t step on my head like a certain red head.
I stood up and brushed myself down being the pro I am and walking towards the door that had been left open by
the hungry scavenges my friends.
I shut the door behind me and headed for the kitchen. “Hunni I’m home! And is that POTATOES and CARROTS I smell?!” I said putting on my best Irish impression when saying potato walking into the kitchen to see everyone including Nessa from the other day and another girl with her back to me both speaking to Emma and Eloise.
I felt a bit guilty for being the way I was with Nessa the other day just running off so decided to head there first and apologise, I mean she didn’t mean to say what she said, she had no idea it would mean anything hurtful.
I walked over with a smile on my face and tapped her on the shoulder. “Hey I just wanted to say sorry for the other day, you know running off and everything so could we start again?” I asked. She nodded in reply smiling.
“I’m Nessa and this is my friend Louise.” She said making the girl with long blonde hair turn around.
“Hey.” She said in a kind voice smiling brightly which made my smile grow into a grin.
“I’m Louis.” I introduced myself, she was honestly gorgeous she had bright green eyes that matched her blonde hair falling effortlessly just past her shoulders.
“Well I’m going to go help Liam in the kitchen, I’ll just urm leave you to get to know each other.” Nessa said next to me making Louis blush slightly but not like full red just a cute little red on her cheeks.
I walked over to Zayn who was sat on one of the sofas texting…again.
“Hey man you okay?” I asked sitting next to him making him jump and grasp his chest in an over exaggerated movement. “Bit jumpy are we?” I wiggled my eyebrows at him jokingly.
“No course not just took me by surprise when I was…”
“Texting a special someone?” I finished off his sentence once again wiggling my eye brows making his rise and his face blush.
“No no just a friend.” He lied.
“Right ok is this ‘friend’ by any chance a girl?”
“And maybe is this ‘friend’ called Malaikah?” His eyeballs grew then.
“What? Who? Rosie!” He mumbled with annoyance. “And I bought her that bloody Barbie to keep her gob shut.”
“Mate you got her a Bratz doll they’re nowhere near enough, do you know nothing about bribery?” I asked laughing while he shook his head resting it in the palm of his hand. I had wanted to question him ever since Rosie told Emma and me after a bit of bribery of our own.
Just then Emma came over smiling I knew she was going to mention it as well. “Hey Zayn how is that friend of yours? Urm was it Malaikah?” She said sitting on my knee grinning.
“YOU KNOW TOO?!” Zayn mid shouted attracting some attention of the others but not much, they seemed too involved in their own conversations.
“I’m her Mother Zayn she respects me and tells me everything.” Zayn and I both burst out laughing when she said that.
“Aw Emma you make me laugh.” Zayn smiled calming down as Emma frowned deeply.
“Yeah whatever but we won’t tell anyone but we want to meet her soon, got that?” She smiled with him sighing and nodding in reply. “Good lad.” She said tapping him on the head with him doing a small ‘woof’ in reply I think…yes I was correct now he is pretending to pant with his tongue out. What even is he?
*Emma’s POV* - a couple of weeks later
I smiled receiving another text from Louise, as she had a third worry/panic attack. Tonight was her first date with Louis after they had been none stop talking about each other since they met Louis finally asked her out.
-Em seriously pleaseee tell me where he is taking me I NEED TO KNOW!xxxx
The message made me chuckle I had helped Louis plan tonight and I wasn’t going to spill the beans now, I text her back quickly smiling.
-Never! Sorry babe, just stop worrying and relax! It will be fine and I know you will have a good time:) xxxx
I click the sent button quickly, I had gotten quite close to Louise and gotten re-close with Nessa after meeting them again at the meal. It was so nice to see Nessa again and was great to meet Louise, neither of them knew the truth as to why I left or knew about Rosie because I was just too afraid for anyone to find out really.
I text Louis a quick ‘Good Luck!’ for tonight knowing he was really hoping it would go well but I knew it would he had planned a great evening.
I headed into the living room after grabbing a bar of chocolate and a cup of tea the start to my perfect evening. I stood still smiling in the door way in awe at the sight in front of me; Harry was sat singing softly in Rosie’s ear while rubbing patterns along her eyelids a technique he used to use on me when I couldn’t sleep.
Her eye lids slowly rest shut as a small smile left sat on her face but Harry didn’t stop he continued to sing softly into her ear but now running his fingers through her soft curly/wavy hair completely un aware of me watching.
“Do you use that technique on all yours girls Styles?” I asked quietly making Harry jump at the sound of my voice but his facial expressions softened from a shocked one to a happy one as I approached him sitting next to him with our daughter, life was finally good.
“Niall if you don’t stop teasing me you’re banned from Nandos for a week!” I threatened Niall as he hung a strawberry covered in chocolate in front of my face pulling it back every time I went for it. My sudden threat of being banned from his beloved chicken got him though and I felt the sweet strawberry finally in my mouth as I giggled at how quick he had shoved it in.
“Damn you for knowing my weakness!” He scowled at me jokingly but pulled me into a hug under his arm.
Everyone was out tonight and we had the whole of the boy’s apartment to ourselves. Louis was on his first date with Louise, Zayn was at Malaikah’s house, a girl who he had started going out with after we got to meet her a few days ago and we had encouraged Zayn to ask her out or in other words we told him to grab some balls and stop being such a girl followed by a ‘team talk’ from Emma which involved a lot of..
‘Are you man or are you cat?!’ and…
‘Don’t be such a Robin be Batman’ followed by a few other encouraging yet bazaar comments, as for Harry he was at Emma’s house and Liam was out with Nessa who he was still in need of asking out but refused to as he wanted to ‘take it slow’.
“I love you so much Eloise.” Niall said completely randomly setting butterflies off in my stomach still, we had been together for years and I still got that amazing feeling.
“I love you too Niall.” I smiled bringing my lips down on his as I saw him smile back up at me.
“You know I never want this to end me and you I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He whispered into my ear as I cuddled into his chest I had always wanted Niall to say that.
“And I couldn’t think of a better person to share my future with Niall.” I whispered in return as I felt the soft feeling of Niall kiss my head, this was proberly the happiest I had ever felt.
I was woken by banging. “MORNING..ahh shit think we’ve interrupted something!” I heard Zayn’s familiar yet annoying voice at this time of the morning.
I looked around to see I was laid on Niall with his arms wrapped carefully around me we must have fallen asleep like this. “Zayn go away I’m tired!” I said launching a cushion at his head which just missed as he ducked causing it to hit Malaikah directly in the face.
“Zayn you idiot you’re not meant to duck you’re meant to stand like a man in front of your girlfriend!” I shouted this time Niall throwing a cushion at him as he agreed with me causing a stunned Malaikah to laugh. “Sorry by the way Malaikah you okay?” I asked getting up and giving her a hug.
“Yes thanks and yourself?” she asked in reply I had gotten on with Malaikah from day one I had gotten on with all the guys girlfriends from day one really which I guess was a good thing otherwise I’m sensing awkwardness for life.
“Good but what are you doing back so early?”
“Oh well Zayn has got a surprise for everyone so has rung them all and they are heading back here now!” She replied causing me to raise my eyebrows at her but she just shook her head and walked over to Zayn who was grinning while putting his arm around her and kissing her forehead.
Bless their young love but still I.hate.when.people.know.things.I.don’t.
I sighed frustrated I didn’t know and went to sit back with an equally confused Niall. Soon everyone was arriving in there couples confused as to why they had been summoned. Now we were just waiting for of course Harry and Emma they were always late but I guess that wasn’t surprising they were proberly trying to find someone to take Rosie since Nessa, Malaikah and Louise still had no idea she existed.
“So sorry I’m late guys!” I heard Harry come running in to the front room. “Emma couldn’t make it we couldn’t find anyone to…oh hey…everyone is here!” Harry realised when he saw the girls looking at him confused.
“Oh ok well we can start I guess then, right so I got a call from Uncle Simon today and well he has invited us to take part in a new talent TV show thing he is doing as presenters!” Everyone grew large smiles on their faces. “It’s a talent show for singing but like instead of performing you have to do tasks and challenges that we have to present!” Everyone all of a sudden got super excited at the very thought and started cheering. A show with One Direction presenting was going to be unbelievable.
“Wow that is going to be amazing you have to say yes!” I said to everyone with everyone agreeing leaving Zayn to ring Simon back confirming the news.
“You guys are going to turn this show crazy aren’t you?” Louise asked with them all growing devilish grins on their faces.
“We sure will make it interesting if that’s what you want to call it.” Louis said wiggling his eyebrows dear god help them contestants! I also noticed Louis and Louise where very close I’m guessing last night had gone really well.
I raised an eyebrow at Louise and she started chuckling with laughter nodding as she snuggled into Louis more, everyone seemed to notice since the girls started smiling like crazy and the guys were giving the thumbs up to a smiling Louis.
I couldn’t help but notice how Nessa was a bit quiet about it all, I could tell she really liked Liam and had since she had met him but he was just taking to long, I was sensing another ‘talk’ of support from us all later.
I saw Harry pulling out his phone to ring Emma bless him he was never five minutes away from her.
“Oh I forgot to say it starts it two weeks they’ve already got people for it, is that ok?” Zayn asked holding the phone just slightly away covering the speaker with everyone nodding and putting their thumbs up.
Well this was going to be an experience for the boys and us but what would that experience involve…
I was so happy recently I don’t remember a time when I’ve been happier, when Louis took me on our first date I was so worried that it would be awkward since we hadn’t known each other long and that it would just all go bad but it was nothing like that, he had gone for the simple dinner which he booked a table away from everyone else which was so cute with everything perfect and nothing was awkward.
Then after the meal he said he had one more surprise and drove up to Gracefold Cliff a place where you could see for miles, he covered my eyes and refused to let me see anything about my surroundings until he was ready. He even put up with me attempting to lick his hand that was covering me eyes sadly I only just touched it because I don’t have to tongue of a giraffe.
It was defiantly worth that wait thought when he pulled his hands away I could see an amazing view for miles with right in the middle of a field spelt the words ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ in fairy lights. I was speechless not because I didn’t like it because it was just amazing!
I think I may have squeaked with happiness.
Yes that is correct I squeaked like a meerkat before turning around and saying ‘OF COURSE I WILL!’ as he picked me up his arms and swung me round in the air grinning his perfect grin before our lips met and I don’t know if you have ever felt this with a guy but I certainly haven’t till that night I felt a spark through my lips letting butterflies going crazy in my stomach one of the most rememable moments I will ever have.
I couldn’t be happier with the people around me as well. The other boys girlfriends were so nice and I got on really well with them and so were all the boys. There are two things on my mind though that kept me constantly wondering, one being the small thing of WHEN IS THAT LIAM GONNA ASK MY BEST MATE OUT?!
It was so obvious they liked each other why not just ask her out for god’s sake, I know and I repeat KNOW Nessa likes him a lot since I have only heard Liam this Liam that constantly ever since she met him.
The second thing I’m not sure if it was just my mind wondering and being silly but I felt like something was being kept from me, something all the boys knew and Eloise and I think it may have something to do with Emma.
I know it’s proberly me being silly but a lot of the time she can’t come with us and whenever I ask why Louis just tells me she is busy at the moment then completely shuts up about that whole conversation.
The on top of all that everyone is always talking in quiet to her asking her questions especially Harry when it’s just them two with him always going to her house and staying the night but her never coming her to stay the night it was all weird.
I had noticed Malaikah and Nessa had noticed too as they would have the same look as me when I was wondering but Eloise just acted just like the boys were.
“Lou can I ask you something?” I was going to do it I didn’t like wondering anymore I felt like everyone was hiding something from me.
“Sure babe what is it?” He asked me.
“Answer me honestly is there something I don’t know about Emma?” I just said slightly regretting it when I had as Louis face changed and he stuttered slightly shocked by my question unsure of what to say. “Please just tell me the truth Louis!”
“I really want to Louise but I can’t, it’s not my place to say.” I could tell he wanted to so then why didn’t he, I felt a bit stupid but so many questions were running through my mind like ‘Does he not trust me?’
“Oh okay.” I just looked away and began to walk away to find the others somewhere in the house with Louis shouting after me.
I sat down with Harry and the others I hadn’t been able to do this in a long time with Rosie just see everyone including the girls, I really did miss it and felt left out a lot. We were all at the boys house because we needed to decide a few things, the boys were going to start filming for the new singing TV show ‘Now Or Never’ which they were presenting and before they went to start the filming and things since a lot of it would be live they had a certain TV show to go on.
I was sat talking to Malaikah she was so lovely, I hadn’t spoken to her lots since I hadn’t been able to come over here because of Rosie but I was getting to really get on with her. I did feel bad though that I hadn’t told her, Nessa or Louise about Rosie and I could tell they were getting suspicious and knew I was hiding something.
I noticed Louise come in really quickly throwing the door open and sitting down in one of the chairs not looking any of us the eyes slowly followed by distressed looking Louis. “I urm need to talk to you Em please.” He asked me indicating for us to talk in private in the hall. I stood up confused and followed him giving a confused glance towards the others especially Harry.
“Are you okay Lou you look distressed?” I asked once we were out of listening area of curious ears that I knew full well would proberly be there and at least one of them pressed against the wall most likely Niall, Eloise and Harry and in Louis bedroom.
“I am stressed out Em! I’ve had Louise always asking me where you are and why you can’t come to certain places with us all the time, which I thought I had covered up but then she asked me today if we were all hiding something from her and when I told her I couldn’t tell her she stormed off looking upset, I don’t know what to do!” He let out in one go throwing himself backwards on to his bed.
I knew she was curious all the girls were and now my secret was getting in the way of their relationship. Guilt was striking through me as a huge pulse of energy. I had no choice I had to tell them even if I didn’t know if I could trust them yet.
“Okay well urm I’m sorry Louis for getting in between you and Louise I will go tell everyone now.” I turned around to leave when Louis grabbed my arm and pulled me back raising his thumb up to my face and moving a tear I didn’t even realise had fallen away.
“No please don’t cry.” He said looking at me.
“I’m sorry but Louis how do you expect me not to cry I’m scared as fuck to tell them! I mean what if they tell someone!”
“They won’t you need to fight this and not be scared they wouldn’t tell anyone you’ve just got…” He stopped himself as he ran his hands through his hair frustrated.
“Go on say it, just say it Louis you’ve started now finish!” I shouted at him, I had never shouted at him before. “Just finish what you were going to say!”
“Fine you’ve got trust issues! You’ve got it with everyone, you’re scared to trust people you lock yourself up and you won’t let hardly anyone in!” He shouted back I felt my cheeks get wet; we had never had an actual argument before until today.
“Can you blame me for fucks sake?” Anger was taking over my emotions now just wanting to be realised. “People I trust have broken the biggest promises! I’ve always had to hide for ages, I feel sometimes like no one wants me after these past few years I’m scared of what people will think Lou! I’m scared people will hate me and I will have to leave again! Do you know how hard it is to have no one to hide all the time, to be alone?” I had never shouted at anyone like that before, never told anyone that before but I couldn’t help it.
I saw Louis eyes cover with a layer of shinny tears as he stuttered and opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted with the door flying open and Harry bursting in. “What the fuck is going on, why are you shouting?!” Was all he said looking between me and Louis before running over to me and pulling me in his arms as he saw me crying.. .again. “What the hell have you said to her Louis?! Of all the people I would never expect you to make her cry like this what the hell have to said to her?!” He was getting mad very mad letting go of me stepping closer to Louis fists clenched.
“I’m so..orry Em I didn’t realise, just please don’t listen to me, I’m sorry.” He stuttered trying to get past Harry.
“No you’re not going hear her till you tell me why she is crying like that!” Harry shouted scaring me how close they were getting to a fight.
“What the hell is going on in here, don’t you two dare start throwing bloody punches in here and upset Emma more than she is ‘cause if you do there will be more than each other to worry about!” Eloise shouted getting between the two holding her hands on each chest mostly on Harry as Louis wasn’t the one to fight.
“He thinks I should tell the others.” I said quietly but enough for them to hear. I couldn’t help but notice all the boys had rushed through with the girls behind looking confused about it all.
“No Emma don’t listen to him you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, I can’t believe you said that to her your meant be her cousin don’t you have a clue?!” Harry shouted again more concentrating on Louis stepping forward again to receive a shove back from Eloise and some stern words.
“I know now, I realised what I said was wrong I didn’t mean it Emma I’m sorry Harry is right don’t listen to me.” Louis said trying to cover it up, I just shook my head I had to at some point and the quicker I said it the quicker I could get out of there.
I turned to the confused girls looking at me waiting. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner..” I began being interrupted by a few of the others telling me I didn’t have to but I carried on. “…I urm I have urm I’m a mum, with a little girl who is now three.”
The dreaded silence filled the air with jaws dropping open from the three of them.
“And I’m the prick of a Dad who at first wanted nothing to do with the baby and asked Emma to leave regretting it till this very day.” Harry said quietly next to me hanging his head in shame, I need to get out of there now out of the awkwardness, running again, I was beginning to feel like Forest Gump running.
RUN FOREST RUN! Was all I could hear running through my head.
I ran into a room and shut the door tightly behind me leaning against it sighing with relief, the tears had stopped now as if there was none left to leak. I felt more tired and fed up with everything now.
I noticed I had run into Niall and Eloise’s bedroom, I had never been in here before but I could tell it was theirs. I smiled as I looked around there was a mini fridge hiding at the side of the room making me laugh typical they keep their own stash of food. I continued to search the room to find a series of pictures in frames stood in various places around the large area. I scanned them all finding a lot of each other’s family, celebrities that they had met in the past and then ones of us lot.
I smiled looking at them all some were very old before all this happened around the time of the X Factor when I had just started seeing Harry there was so many photos of us all laughing bringing back memories. I then started to notice of pictures ones of them all without me while I was gone looking happy but I guess not the same in a way a lot of them Harry wasn’t there either.
I couldn’t help but say ‘awwww’ when I saw the next lot of photos there was a huge collage of photos of Niall and Eloise starting with the oldest ones at the right then the newer ones going towards the left of the two of them, with a small message at the end.
‘Dear Eloise, Happy 2 year anniversary! I love you so much and I wasn’t sure what to give you but decided this was the best present I want to give you something to remember our memories from the beginning which you can add on too as time goes by! I have loved being with you for these two years and can’t wait to spend the rest of my future with you, I know times in the past have been hard but I know it will turn out good in the end it has to! Thank you for being the perfect girlfriend I LOVE YOU! P.S I made you a cake…but I ate it sorry ;)’ I burst out laughing at the last line with a picture of what was left of the cake after Niall had finished with it.
They were the perfect couple and I knew they were going to be together forever they just had to be they were the strongest out of us all. For some reason then I realised Niall was right things do turn out fine in the end and when I have my friends I have no need to worry anymore, I no longer felt scared or worried I felt happy.
Who would have thought it Niall was a secret wizard with knowledge! The Wizard of Knowledge from the land of potatoes.
I heard a small knock on the door and turned around to see a guilty looking Louis walk through the door. I ran over to him and threw my arms around his neck saying a quick sorry into his ear with him replying with a apology twice as big as mine none stopping with rambling words.
I chuckled and stopped him smiling saying I forgave him. “Stop apologising Lou I know you mean it and I realise now you’re right, but I’ve got to stop living in the past and just be happy with the future and stop worrying.”
Louis looked confused but gave me a weak smile. “They won’t tell anyone they’ve already said and they’ve spoken to Harry about it all they know the full story…”
“Please don’t tell me they got angry and ate him?” I asked completely serious remembering everyone else’s reaction.
“No don’t worry they realise how Harry is here for you now and they’re thrilled you have a little daughter asking when they can meet her and everything. They want to join the Uncle and Auntie clan now.”
I chuckled knowing full well that would be fine with Rosie she would just see it as more presents. I gave Louis one last hug and a ‘Thank you’ before heading back to see the others. I could sense the tension as I walked in everyone worried what my reaction would be now.
“Well I guess now you know, I better say Welcome to the family!” I said smiling everyone’s face softened.
“We won’t tell anyone Emma we swear you have nothing to worry about, we can’t wait to meet her she sounds so cute!” Nessa said as they all hugged me before I headed over to Harry.
“I know things have been hard but everything will be fine in end it has to be.” I looked over to Niall as I said this obviously recognising the saying but not sure where from. As long as you have the ones you love Niall is correct everything will turn out fine.
“Oh and to make it better remember what show you’re all going on tomorrow!” Eloise pointed out grinning as we all looked at Niall and couldn’t help but all shout in unison…
“POTATO!” yes that’s right they’re all going on the one the only celebrity juice!
Well I never thought I would be here, sat listening…
In the audience….
of CELEBRITY FREAKING JUICE.
I had once dreamt I was Rufus Hound on the show once…yes I had been having energy drinks before bed and they did not mix with my sleep pattern.
But I had never thought I would actually be here watching it with my boyfriend being interviewed!
I joined with the laughter of the audience as Keith Lemon once again took the piss out of Niall’s irishness shouting ‘POTATO!’ in that accent…something that just never got old.
They were split into the two teams with Harry and Louis on Holly Willaboobie’s team and Liam, Niall and Zayn on Fearn Cotton’s team with Keith Lemon sat in the middle on the leather seat behind the middle desk, Rufus Hound wasn’t on the show today which was probably a good thing since after my dream I could never look at him the same it was just weird.
“So your first ever song was called ‘What Makes your Beautiful’ whose idea was that?” Keith asked them all.
“Well we all kind of came up with the idea ourselves.” Liam replied.
“Ok so I’m guessing it was about a girl?”
“Yes that doesn’t know she’s beautiful.”
“Yeah I got that bit after the fifth repeat of ‘You don’t know you’re beautiful!’” He sang the line as he said it.
“You got skills there Keith you planning on joining and being the 6th member of one direction?” Fearn asked.
“Well I think I could I mean I fit in perfect right? With the looks and everything and I can even do this!” He then did a quick hair flip and pouted looking directly into the camera, I could honestly not contain my laughter, it looked like a ginger version of Harry. “I can even overwhelm people I mean watch.” He then did a huge hair flip right in front of Fearn continuously flipping till she was forced to back off her chair.
“She wants you Keith she has even got up to come get you!” Louis teased with a cheeky glint in his eye.
Next thing I knew was a round called. ‘Flipping Overwhelming’. I could see this was going to be interesting, I watched as they were told the rules, a person from each team had to wear a huge wig with various objects hanging from the curls. The object of the game was to carry on singing and whipping their wig back and forth as more items were added, the one to carry on the longest won.
From team one Harry went since he was already an expert at overwhelming with the chocolate ringlets on his head, while Liam offered to go for team two since he also had slightly longer curly hair.
I was struggling to hold my escaping roars of laughter as the wigs were placed on their heads which were bad enough but when I saw what else they had to wear I could not contain myself. Harry’s were in the shape of huge pussy cats and Liam’s were two D’s.
“Thought they suited you, since you enjoy pussy so much Harry and you’re ‘Daddy Direction’ Liam, which was the nickname I heard for you, guessing that’s what your pussy cats call you.” Keith said, I couldn’t help but turn and look at Nessa giving her a cheeky wink causing her to blush a scarlet red.
Ahh the joys of having a dirty mind.
Suddenly ‘DJ Keith’ was stood by a music desk thing sending ‘I Whip my Hair back and forth – Willow Smith’ through the speakers full blast with Liam and Harry trying to keep up with the bad head banging and singing. My stomach was struggling to handle the now silent laughing; they were both doing well until weirder heavier objects were added to the strings of fake hair.
The objects involving… mugs, a potato, forks, balls, hair brushes, sunglasses, Dare To Dream the book and much more including finally a mankini which was launched across the room at them as it landed in their hair.
I could see the determination in both they’re eyes as they head banged together bobbing to the music. “It looks like you’re going down on each other!” Keith kindly pointed out making them both laugh but try to stay concentrating.
I thought Harry was actually going to win and make the curly world extra proud until someone actually brought a live cat out and placed it on his head, well what I thought was live cat and obviously Harry did to since it distracted him so much he grabbed it off holding it in his arms making me aww as he ‘worried for the cat’s life’ until he discovered it was fake and dropped it in frustration annoyed at his best friend bragging and jumping around in a ‘celebration dance’.
I personally thought he looked like a monkey…on steroids…with a mankini on his head.
The day only got weirder as it went on while playing ‘Find the golden potato’ involving changes such as a huge fat naked man with a hat saying ‘1D’s biggest fan’, a couple of moustaches, Fearn wearing a dog mask, Niall wearing glasses with pop out eyes ect and the golden potato being a bloody traitor and heading to a JLS concert while everyone searched!
Plus a game called ‘Who am I?’ Which involved Niall dressing up as one of Jedward, Liam dressing up as Britney spears, Louis dressing up a Wagner, Harry dressing up as the queen and Zayn dressing up a Justin Bieber, I had never noticed until now but…Justin is a hair style Thief! He has stolen Zayn’s hair now! (NO HATE!) Next thing you know it will have grown curly for stealing Harry’s hairs.
I’m just going to say this now, anyone touches them curls will lose a finger! You have been warned Bieber!
The day had been edventful you could say that, but now it was sadly over. I watched as they finished with adding up the scores. “And the final scores are SHITING! Fearn’s team win by one point!”
Great, now I will have to cheer Harry up and Louise would have to cheer Louis up, maybe we should dress up in fat sumo suits and jump on them, that could work.
They finished the show off by doing a crazy routine of dance moves to mixture of One Direction songs with Zayn having a little dance off with Keith.
After it was over we began to head backstage to meet them with me sharing my plan to cheer the boys up with Louise, but something was wrong I could feel it. That horrible feeling you get when you feel like you’re being watched that someone’s piercing eyes are staring at you, but you have no idea who or where they are.
Suddenly Louise stopped and turned to me as we were mid conversation. “I know this might sound weird being in a room full of people but am I the only one who feels like we’re being watched?” She asked examining the room just like me. I nodded in agreement but shrugged it off, it was proberly nothing.
“It’s probably nothing, what is more important is how are we going to steal one of them fat suits?!” I replied.
Today we were going to meet the contestants in ‘Now Or Never’ the show the boys are going to be presenting. It wasn’t going on for weeks like X Factor more or a show a night like I’m a celebrity get me out of here.
I can actually imagine it will proberly be a mixture of them two programmes which worried me deeply because I’m still not entirely sure what they’ve planned.
I felt something cover my eyes, soft, cold and startling but still comfortable as I was fully aware of who owned them. “Guess who?” He whispered into my ear sending warm shivers down my spine but making me smile.
“Urm spiderman?” I asked quietly.
“Close.” He whispered pushing my head back by putting his finger under my chin before giving me a ‘spider man kiss’ I smiled into the kiss until I heard a coughing sound next to me. Liam was stood there with Nessa and baby Rosie.
“Sorry to interrupt but we have to go, Emma are you ready yet, you need to leave now!” Liam shouted through the hallway.
“Coming you could have bloody woken us!” She said running in pulling her socks and shoes on, with her hair still a bit messy from the rush of being woken up only half an hour ago. Harry followed behind pulling a t-shirt over his head quickly as he ran behind her running to Rosie taking her off Nessa and giving her a big kiss on the head.
“Look Rosie mummy is making us late again, yes she is naughty mummy isn’t she.” Harry said in a baby voice which I was getting used to now, all the boys had this weird thing where they always seemed to talk to her in a baby voice without even realising.
“Oi watch it you, it was just as much your fault as it is mine!” I heard her reply searching madly for her other shoe throwing pillows everywhere.
“Looking for something?” Louis said dangling the shoe in front of Emma’s face making it light up with triumph of finding the healed boot.
“Cheers Lou, right I got to go now so I can get Rosie to nursery, say good bye Rosie.” Emma said rushing attempting to take her off Harry but he wasn’t having it without his kiss.
Yes that’s what all father’s do, use their child as a hostage for a kiss. However Rosie didn’t seem to mind she was too mesmerized by Harry’s curls which whenever she pulled one sprang back; I had to admit it was quite amazing how it could do that.
Once Emma was finally sorted she took Rosie and headed out the back fire exit way to her hidden car; the escape route we had planned so now Emma could stay over and escape the next day without being found out.
“Right let’s go go go!” Louise said as her and Louis began marching out of the door, yes actual marching head held high, backs straight the full works. I laughed as we all followed until I felt Zayn touch my arse making me squeal and jump but continue to laugh.
It wasn’t long before we arrived, today we were just meeting everyone, the boys had already been introduced to them but they wanted us to meet them plus they had to talk to the producers so while they did that we could talk and find out a bit more about the people.
Personally I think they were just using us as spies to find out more about them to report back later.
Emma was coming later after she had dropped off Rosie and stuff so we had a bit of a head start. I walked into a large room to be introduced with 6 people. I smiled at them all as we were introduced, first to a quite tall man who was quite large called George he looked quite scary but as soon as we were introduced he gave us all a big jolly hug, it was like meeting Santa that time when I was little, the one who was obviously a fake, can’t fool me you see.
Next was a tall girl with big intimidating dark eyes surrounded by a layer of black eye liner she certainly looked scary, she was introduced as Robin. Next to her was a middle aged women named Belle who looked the most normal out of them all till she opened her mouth to reveal a sweet but yet excitable voice that made me laugh because she seemed sweet but a bit like she was high.
I noticed giggling then from two girls, twins they were both identical with short spiky pixie like blonde hair, tall figure and big smiles. The only difference being one named Eve had brown eyes while the other Lilly had blue. They seemed shy and sweet but looked like after you get to know them quite loud and confident.
I looked around to notice the rest of the girls staring. Just staring at the last person with smiles on their faces, I looked confused until I saw what they were staring at, a young, tall gorgeous boy that looked around our age with short dark brown hair cut into a styled hair do. He had sharp cheek bones like Zayn but loving eyes like Niall and sweet storable smile like Harry a gorgeous body like Liam and his hair was actually quite similar to Louis, so you can tell why their jaws dropped.
“And finally this is Sam.” Everyone pretty much said ‘Hi’ in unison still smiling, I could see the boys rolling their eyes at them from around me making me laugh.
He was hot but I felt sort of bad so I introduced myself and things before returning to Zayn who was stood with Harry, Niall and Liam. “Look at her she is all over him!” I heard Niall mutter staring intensely at the back of Eloise’s head as she giggled in a flirty way as she stood talking to Sam with Nessa.
“I know, Nessa is there as bloody well.” I couldn’t help but laugh but tried to cover it up with a cough.
“Guys don’t get jealous please, Niall you and Eloise are fine you’ve been together too long for him to get in the way and well Liam just hurry up and do something about Nessa please if you like her that much, we are all sick of waiting.” I announced slipping under Zayn’s shoulder.
The boys agreed and next thing I know they’re plotting a plan to get them together, well Niall, Zayn and Harry were with Liam nodding a long blushing but smiling, aw he was so cute sometimes. They were like big girls!
I looked around to see Louis and Louise talking to the twins Lilly and Eve laughing at Louis as he attempted to balance a glass of water on his head, that can only end with…yep as I thought he yelped as the water soaked his face but laughed and shook the droplets of water off his hair.
The only person out of our group now who wasn’t here was Emma.
I swear to god this car is a bloody elephant is disguise! It is going so slow that at first I thought it had broken down. After about half an hour or so stuck behind the blue elephant also known as the world’s slowest car I reached the studio.
Running inside I saw Paul stood at the entrance waiting to let me in with a few fans outside. God knows how they found out where they were, but they manage it somehow. I said hi to them all apologising for not being able to talk before rushing inside. Paul was a really great guy, I had got close to him in the past from waiting for the boys and he certainly was the funniest security guard the boys had.
I followed him through the corridors till we finally reached the room everyone was in. “I’ll leave you for a bit but tell the boys they have 10 minutes then we need to steal them from you.” He gave me a quick wink and warming smile as I thanked him.
I was welcomed by a hug from Harry as he quickly introduced me to everyone. Everyone seemed nice and deep in conversation though so I thought I would get to know them all later.
“And finally that is Sam over there.” He said this in quite a dull tone and once I saw why I couldn’t help but giggle at the reason.
“Yes he is gorgeous, but no need to sound so dull.” I teased standing on my toes to kiss his nose as a tease to make him smile.
I left him standing there and decided to go say hi to the rest of the boys before introducing myself to Sam since he looked busy with Nessa and Eloise anyway. I could tell by the deep frowns on Niall and Liam’s faces they were not amused by the continuous obvious flirting down by my friends.
“Want me to go pull them away?” I asked raising an eyebrow.
“YES PLEASE! They’re driving me nuts.” Malaikah announced before they could even speak.
“I need to go say hi anyway and talk to them so I will be back in a minute.” I replied turning around, I knew El’s flirting annoyed Niall but it was always innocent he was the one for her and he had nothing to worry about.
“Hey guys!” I said with a smile coming up behind them.
“Oh hey Emma, urm Emma this is Sam and Sam this is Emma.” Nessa introduced us.
I looked up to see a deep pair of blue eyes staring at me, quite intimidating in a way but yet very beautiful. I smiled and put my hand out for him to shake only to be pulled into a hug. “Nice to meet you Emma, I’ve heard a lot about you.” He smiled, well someone was friendly.
I gave a weird look to a confused Eloise and Nessa shocked by his sudden friendliness. “Urm really?” I asked, Harry might have told him a few things but I doubt much in case anyone became suspicious of Rosie or anything. He nodded in reply making me raise an eyebrow, all of a sudden he looked very familiar, but from where I could not put my finger on it. “Oh right by the way before I forget El, Niall wants to talk to you and Liam wanted to ask you something Nessa.” I told Eloise before I could forget raising my eyebrows at her and slightly rolling my eyes informing her fully of what I meant.
I heard her groan but smile, she loved it when he got jealous deep down I could see it in her hidden smile.
She left with Nessa with me following behind until I felt a tug on my arm pulling me back slightly. “Hey I thought this was about getting to know each other?” Sam smiled, I felt suddenly quite self conscious, he seemed to be being too friendly in a way like I had known him for a long time but I had never met him before.
“Oh ok, well where have you heard ‘a lot about me’ and what?” I asked reviling none of my thoughts in my tone of voice.
He shrugged before replying. “Papers, stories, the boys, a lot of people like you and when you left a lot of people were asking a lot and things.”
I had a shot of worry in my brain then something was telling me not to trust this guy. “Oh right,hang on wait are you some sort of a reporter?” He sounded like one.
“No don’t worry I work in Tescos this show is to make me known, not to find out gossip.” He smiled but I could see something behind that smile. After living on your own for so long you learned to tell when people were hiding something, I believed he wasn’t a reporter but he was defenatly not telling me the truth about something.
I wonder is Tesco Mary from X Factor knew him?
Note to self- Inbox Tesco Mary on Facebook
I frowned slightly until I felt a pair of hands snake themselves around my waste. These hands always made me feel less self conscious or alone. I smiled but I could see Sam frown before hiding it quickly. “Hey babe listen we got to go now but I think the girls are going to get something to eat soon just to let you know.” He said smiling but I could see his eyes looking wondering between my confused ones trying to figure out what Sam was hiding and Sam’s secretive dazzling ones.
“Okay be there soon.” I replied giving him a quick kiss making him relax slightly from his stiff worried position before leaving me.
“You two seem strong then?” He asked, again with that smile, the sweet but creepy in my eyes smile.
“Yep stronger than ever.” I smiled watching Harry walk away.
I heard Sam say something about Harry under his breath thinking I couldn’t hear causing me to give him a glare.
“Excuse me?” I felt angry, this guy had so many bloody faces it was untrue.
“Nothing, so tell me a bit about yourself little Emma.” He smiled revealing his perfect teeth with one side going up slightly making it look mischievous.
“Urm I would but I have to go with my friends.” I didn’t feel comfortable about how close he was to me now; I could feel his warm breath against my cheek bone slightly.
“C’mon this is about getting to know us.” He grinned again slipping his arm around my waist slightly, crossing the line.
I moved back quickly removing his arm searching his eyes for some reason or explanation to what he thought he was doing. He raised a dark brown eye brow at me as I stepped backwards.
“Stay away from me.” I replied quietly but stern, this guy was a creep I could just tell by the way he smiled, by how intense his eyes were, how fake his two faced personality that he was a creep. He chuckled slightly shaking his head from left to right before turning around and walking down a different corridor.
Once I couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore I let out a sigh of relief. I shook my head trying to forget how close he had been to me, how I had felt his breath or cold skin against mine, he was like Edward Cullen off Twilight, girls found him hot but he could be horrible, creepy, intense and well just weird to some.
Except unlike Mr Cullen this guy actually seemed like he was messed up.
I began to walk down the corridors keeping my head down just listening to my thoughts wondering, something I really should stop doing since my mind cannot be a safe place with the crazy thoughts I come up with.
“Finally, Emma where have you been?” Zayn spoke up from somewhere in front of me followed by his quick footsteps coming towards me.
“What?” I asked, asking like I hadn’t heard, but I had
“We’ve been looking for you, the girls said you went somewhere and they couldn’t find you, so we had to come looking for you.” I felt guilty they had been pulled out of their meeting to search for me.
“Oh sorry, I’m not feeling very well anyway so I think I’m going to head home.” I prayed Zayn couldn’t read minds or some strange shit like that, knowing my mind was just in over think mode. He frowned he could tell something was bothering me.
“Hmm you look a bit pale.” He was examining me like searching for an explanation he knew he didn’t have time to hear. He sighed rubbing the back of his neck with his hand giving up after a while raising a confused eyebrow at me as if to say ‘what is it?’ but not say it out loud as if someone was listening.
I replied with the ‘I’ll tell you later’ look which is quite a hard look to give but he understood and accepted it searching around him as if someone was watching, I had the exact same feeling the unknowing thought of someone somewhere is staring right at you but you can’t see them anywhere.
We decided to head back having random conversation as I continued to look for someone like maybe a photographer or a fan. “There you are!” Niall shouted jogging towards us. “You found her then?” His eyebrows knotted together when he arrived to an intense silence.
“Yeah she’s not feeling every well though.” Zayn replied giving Niall a look to say ‘There is something else but I don’t know what.’ Niall opened his mouth to speak but closed it staring past my head his eyebrows knotting even more.
“Alright Sam?” Niall asked with a slight annoyance in his voice.
“Yeah sorry I just came to check on Emma she was talking to me when she began to feel ill, so I thought I would come check on her; he was smiling again but with a look of concern on his face - fake.
“Oh thanks man but we’ve got her now, thanks though.” Niall replied slightly protective and judging.
“Okay well do you want me to take her to her car so you can get back to the meeting?” Sam asked, ergh this is the last thing I need.
“Listen just all go back to what you were doing, I’m capable of heading home on my own, just tell Harry I will see him at home but I’m fine just tired okay?” I was more directing my message towards Zayn and Niall who nodded in reply not up for an argument.
I smiled at them, ignoring Sam before turning around and heading to my car, the quicker I got away the better, I needed some sleep.
I practically speed walked to my car nearly knocked down a huge pile of boxes, an old man and nearly taking a door down. WATCH OUT EARTH EMMA IS COMING THROUGH!
I sighed when I reached my car unlocking it and beginning to climb in, I gave one last look around me before I left and then just as I expected there he was leaning against the door frame sarcastically smiling. I frowned at him before getting into my car as he gave a ‘Queen wave’.
I felt uncomfortable shivers go down my spine, what a
“I’ll go see if I can find Zayn, see if he has found her.” Niall said kissing me on the cheek before running down the corridor.
Emma had disappeared and none of us could fine her so right now we were all on a hunt for her.
“Has anyone checked the kitchen?!” Liam suddenly asked, of course why hadn’t I checked before the fat sprout probably was eating the building out.
“I did, first place me and Niall checked.” Louis said searching under a chair, yes because Emma can fit under there.
“Where the hell is she? What if something has happened and she has left, what if it’s Rosie?” Harry panicked trying to call her again. I felt the urge to shout ‘BREATH BOY’ at him but controlled myself, Emma hadn’t left I had her bag which she left earlier with her phone.
“Harry for the seventh time Eloise has her phone and bag she is still in the building! She would not leave without telling us and leaving her phone and bag!” Louise told Harry in the calmest way possible.
I heard the sound of voices coming down the corridor, Zayn and Niall then appeared deep in conversation looking quite confused. “No luck then?” Malaikah asked stepping towards Zayn.
“No we found her, she is fine!” Niall replied with Harry sighing with relief, I went to hug Niall but was pushed out of the way by Harry asking her where she was then, rude. “Calm it dude she was feeling a bit tired so has headed home, she said don’t panic.” He chuckled slightly, but I can tell by his eyebrows something else was going on.
“If everything is okay why have you got more frown lines than a mad women?” I asked quietly kissing them softly.
“No reason.” Zayn replied quickly giving Niall a look before he could reply making Niall nod when Harry wasn’t looking.
The boys were called back in by a slightly frustrated Paul to their meeting so we decided to head off for some food. Just as I waved by to Niall a large body stood in front of me blocking my view of him. “Hey!” Sam said smiling, god he was hot in this light.
“Urm hi.” I laughed trying to look at Niall who was frowning at the back of Sam’s head then whispering something to Zayn who dragged him through, weird.
“So do you want to come get some food with me then, since we’re mean’t to be getting to know each other?” He asked politely, I nodded and moved backwards, I wasn’t so keen with how close he was stood next to me and I didn’t want to go with just him so quickly grabbed Nessa while Louise and Malaikah walked off with the other contestants to get some food in the studio cafe.
We decided to head to the cafe down the road to grab a drink somewhere a bit out of the crowd. The whole way there I kept feeling Sam’s hand collide against mine or his shoulder rubbing against my side.
“Nessa how about you go get drinks and Eloise and I will go grab a table?” Sam asked smiling at her, that smile would win her over easy even if the queue was nearly as long as the cafe.
I saw a table hidden at the back so decided to go for that, since it was quieter and not as near the drafty door, I pushed aside the empty cups left from the people before and sat down on the cold red leather seats with Sam sitting across from me.
His dark spiky hair was sticking up in all directions in a messy do but still looked like it had been perfectly styled. Mine however was a bit bush like right now from the outside cold wind throwing it about in different directions.
“Tell me more about yourself Ellie?” He called me Ellie, no one had called me Ellie for a long time, it was the name people who could never pronounce my name used to call when I was little and some new one direction fans called me now and then.
I had four names really, the first one was the name everyone mostly knew me by which was Eloise and then there were the two nicknames Ellie and El which Emma had always called me and the guys called me now and then. Finally my real name which is Rose, it was the name my mum gave me when I was born but when I was about two or three they changed it to Eloise and my middle name to Rose, something more unique and more me I guess. Confusing I know, but a true story.
“Well how about we do 20 questions?” I suggested interested to find more about him.
“Okay so what is your dream?” He asked, not exactly your average first question.
“Urm I always wanted to do some work with music like singing or DJ work.” I replied that had always been a dream of mine when I was little but not many people knew it.
“Aw wow you should be able to start your career with that off soon then with Niall and everything.” I frowned was he suggesting I was to use Niall.
“What? Why would Niall have anything to do with it?”
“Well he is famous; you want to do the famous singing career so he can use his connections I guess.” He shrugged; my frown lines must have looked like cracks in my face.
“I would never use Niall to help me never! I love him for him, not his fame!” I protested, I hated when people thought I used him for his fame, I would never do that.
“Whoa sorry I didn’t mean that!” He surrendered raising his large palms to face me, he had quite big hands. I suddenly had the urge to ask him if he was a base player since apparently base players had big hands, but instead I smiled.
The conversation was more normal after that with the questions I was normally asked by people I had just met, like ‘What are your hobbies?’ you know them sort of getting to know each other questions.
Nessa suddenly appeared with three cups but they were take-out ones instead of mugs. “Guys Liam just rang we got to head back, they’re done so I got them to take out.” She explained gesturing to the three styrofoam cups in her hands.
I took my cup off her and we began to head back with me then realising I had forgotten to ask him any questions.
I was woken by feeling an object poking me on my arm then my head. “What the?” I mumbled forcing one eye open.
“Thank god you’re alive!” Niall said laughing, well what looked like laughing through my morning eyes.
“I told you that she wasn’t struggling to breath that’s just her manly snoring!” Zayn shouted from the door way, I must have fallen asleep last night since the last thing I remember was watching a film in bed with Harry and Rosie.
I threw a pillow at Zayn which sadly he caught. “Oi I was not snoring!” I protested. I noticed Zayn’s hair was still sticking out everywhere and he was stood without a shirt on in just his trackies (something I was now used to) showing he hadn’t been up long just like Niall except Niall had a shirt on. “Where is everyone?” I asked rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“Malaikah, Nessa and Liam are still sleeping, Harry, Louis and Louise have gone with Rosie for a drive because she got bored and well Eloise is out.” Zayn mumbled the last bit avoiding eye contract with Niall who looked annoyed.
“Wait is everything okay Niall? You haven’t had a fight have you?” He was biting his nails and rubbing his hands a long his trousers in a awkward movement.
“No, she has gone to meet Sam.” He mumbled. Oh god no, this cannot be good.
“Oh god.” I sighed quietly, I had so many thought rushing in at once, Eloise could be such a flirt and it will mean nothing to her but a bit of harmless hanging out with a bit of friendly flirting but to Niall it was horrible and made hi, feel betrayed and to Sam well from our conversation yesterday well god knows what it means to that creep.
“We wanted to know Emma what happened yesterday? We know you didn’t feel ill.” Zayn got to the point removing himself from leaning on the door frame to join Niall sat on mine and Harry’s big bed. I had managed to fool everyone else that I was just tired and a bit ill last night when they got back but obviously Zayn and Niall just can’t be fooled today.
“Urm not much.” I picked at the dirt under my middle finger’s nail awkwardly.
“Don’t lie to us Emma Tomlinson.” Yikes no one had used my full name in a while, I felt 12 again.
“Fine me and Sam just had a talk and let’s just say I don’t like him he’s not my sort of person!” I admitted raising my hands in the air.
“And that made you feel ‘ill’?” Niall asked doing the bunny ear signs when saying ‘ill’.
“He just creeped me out, he was getting a bit close and the looks he was giving me was just weird.” I felt tired just talking about him, sick of the story from hearing it in my mind. Niall and Zayn both gave each other a stare knowing I had now told them the truth and there was not much more they could do.
“Well just next time he creeps you out come get me.” Zayn instructed pointing at me before heading back out of the room, feeling the brother from another mother love right now.
Niall still managed to look confused, like he was in a completely other world. “You okay Niall?” I said tapping the space next to me on my bed indicating to sit next to me.
“Sort of, life’s just so confusing!” He sighed frustrated.
“I know right!” We both sighed then throwing our heads back to lie down and for our heads to collide with the…”Ahh fuck!” We both shouted.
Our heads had decided to collide with the hard wooden back board instead of the soft pillow, bloody wood! We both rubbed our heads mumbling a few swear words then looking at each other and bursting out laughing, until Niall stopped turning serious. “Do you think I’m losing her Em?” He asked actually lying down making sure his head lay on the pillow instead.
“Of course not, you two are still as strong as I remember about four years ago, it’s like you’re meant to be! I knew when I left you were going to get together; I could tell how much you liked each other and I’m so happy you’re still going strong! I’m just annoyed I couldn’t have been there to see when you both actually told the others! Just don’t worry about him, she will be able to see what I saw the other day soon and if not I will hammer it into her brain till she realises.” He smiled giving me a hug while pulling me part on top of him too lazy to sit up.
He pulled away with a pair of glistening eyes. “Thanks Emma that means a lot.” He sniffled, I pulled him to arms length and realised he was actually crying, he was quite soft but didn’t like to show his feelings quite this easy.
“Niall you silly goose don’t cry, you honestly can’t believe you were losing her that much!?” He whipped away his escaped tear quickly that had escaped from his blue eyes.
He nodded, “I just felt like she was getting bored of me and I want to check because our anniversary is coming up and I got her this quite big present and planned a few things for her.” He blushed slightly, going redder than usual from the recent few tears, what a cutie.
I grinned I needed to know what he was planning now and he knew I had to know! He laughed jumping off the bed towards his bag which he had brought in with him. “I only have part of it here…” He said pulling it out.
“AND THE STYLES TEAM WINS!” I cheered with Rosie laughing on my shoulders as we crept through the escape/ secret entry to the house.
“WE’RE HERE!” Louis crashed through the door panting with Louise in his arms, bridal style. “Ah damn how did you get here so fast?” He frowned; we had a race from where Louis had dropped us off down the street to here.
“Because Uncle Louis we are ninjas!” Rosie roared throwing her hands in the air cheering.
“Guys keep it bloody down some of us are or were sleeping here!” Malaikah walked in with one of Zayn’s shirts on and a pair of PJ shorts on, her hair still sticking out in every direction.
“Yeah is Emma up by the way?” I asked her putting Rosie down who jumped on Louis back as they began to play fight; he was like a big kid as well.
“Yep she is in her room talking to Niall.” Zayn appeared throwing a t-shirt over his head kissing Malaikah on the head as he reached over her to the orange juice.
“Oh okay, what about?” I asked confused, Zayn had said it as if they were having a private conversation that was much needed, he shrugged in reply.
“Think it’s about Eloise.” I must have still looked confused. “She is out with Sam.” He finished answering my questions. I nodded before heading to say morning to Emma stealing a piece of someone’s toast off the side not sticking around for them to realise.
“AW NIALL!” Emma squealed. “This is perfect, just brilliant how I did not think of this idea!” She said slightly quieter as Niall shh’d her telling her to be quiet before anyone heard. Heard what?
I didn’t knock just opened the door after waiting outside the room. Niall was stumbling backwards slightly as Emma had her arms tightly around him with her neck nuzzled into the cruck of his neck. I know this sounded stupid but they looked awfully close. I coughed causing them to pull apart wide eye’d, they were hiding something from me.
I noticed Niall’s hand twitch as he pulled apart grabbing his bag which was for some reason in mine and Emma’s room. “Hey Harry!” Emma grinned walking towards me moving into kiss me on the lips but I converted it to kiss on the cheek.
I knew I was stubborn and shouldn’t be worrying and wondering, but I hated when people kept secrets from me which I was I guess a bit of a hypocrite for saying since I’ve been hiding a secret from everyone.
“Alright H?” Niall asked smiling making me even more annoyed.
“Yeah what’s going on?” I asked not looking at Emma’s eyes knowing they would be intense and I would just crack if I saw them giving me that stare, the stare of a mixture of annoyance, confusion, upset and anger.
“We were just chatting, listen I got to dash, but thank you so much Em seriously you made me feel a lot better!” Niall smiled giving her one last hug before leaving avoiding eye contact with me. You could slice the awkward tension in the air with a knife.
I looked down to the floor still avoiding her eye contact trying to figure out what they were talking about and why Emma seemed so happy. I walked over to the bed side table grabbing my wristbands that I had taken off last night as they annoyed me. “Going to explain what’s wrong then grumpy?” Emma said behind me, I could hear it in her voice that she was concerned but trying to stay cheerful and slightly annoyed.
“What are you hiding from me?!” I just asked turning around to finally look at her, she looked confused more than anything. “Why are you and Niall having private conversations, and why are you so happy, is there something you want to tell me I mean just what are you hiding is all I want to know?!” I threw my arms up one now full of an arm full of bracelets, the confused look was gone now, she was just angry.
“Oh grow up Harry! I shouldn’t have to explain myself being happy or what I was talking to one of my best friends about, when it’s nothing to do with you!” She replied grabbing one of my old jumpers and putting it over her head before leaving.
I slammed the door of the bed room shut behind me; I needed time for myself, no body to asked what was wrong, just time for myself. I looked a state but the idea of getting out of this house sounded so good right now I couldn’t care less.
I was the sort of person who liked to be surrounded by people but from past time of being alone and having a lot of thinking time; it had now become something I needed to keep my head straight. I just needed to tell one person I was going for a walk then leave for an hour or so.
I walked down the corridor passing Liam’s dark room meaning Nessa and him where probably still asleep. Niall’s room had music blaring out of it followed by his singing showing his happiness had returned. I could hear Zayn and Malaikah in the kitchen chatting about which was better Sponge Bob Square Pants or Scooby Doo, out of all the subjects they were talking about that. The only people left in the house were Rosie who was sat in front of the TV on her own eating an ice lolly in one of the living rooms which mean’s Louis and Louise were the only ones left and they were sat in the other living room, the one with the exit I used.
Maybe I would be in luck and they would be asleep, or snogging the faces off each other or even playing hide and seek something like that which mean they wouldn’t see me and ask I load of questions. I brushed my hair down and decided if I acted normal maybe smiled at them, they just wouldn’t think anything of it.
I twisted the brass door handle keeping my head down and entering. I noticed as soon as I entered they were doing nothing but talking while Louise sat on Louis knee.
No wait they weren’t talking just smiling at each other, looking calm and well happy to just be with each other.
I remembered when me and Harry used to do that just after we first started going out, when we had no worries about the future, about people spreading rumours and about hiding unlike now.
“Morning!” Louis shouted at me. I would usually reply with the same welcome but see if I could go louder except this time I didn’t have the energy so was a bit of a useless welcome. “Right explain now.” He demanded before I could take another step.
I froze, just when I thought I was getting away with it I swore under my breath. “I just need some air.” I replied in a monotone.
“Emma.” Louise butted in with a stern voice. “What’s happened?” She asked getting off Louis’ knee scrapping her hair off her slim face.
“Harry is just getting on my nerves a bit and I need to get out of here.” I rubbed my head roughly. “Harry just thinks I’m hiding stuff from him and stuff, am I not allowed a private life anymore? Does he have to know every detail?!” I felt frustrated.
“It depends what them details are.” Harry appeared in the door way frowning, ergh great now I won’t get away.
“Pfft!” I laughed out loud a fake laugh. “And you said I had trust issues Louis, I have nothing as bad as Harry, I can’t even have a conversation with one of my best friends without him knowing what it’s about know! Things have changed more than everyone thinks.” I grunted, ignoring Harry and talking to Louis. “Just watch Rosie till I’m back please Lou.” I half asked half instructed climbing out of the exit.
I stirred in my bed the light slipping through the blinds slightly. I rubbed my eyes stretching my arms out while scrunching my toes as I looked around waking my body up. I carefully pushed the white sheets off my body pulling my legs off the side to I was sat up.
I noticed Nessa then laid on the long couch in the corner smiling as she breathed deep in sleep. We weren’t together but she slept in my room on the couch so then she didn’t get woken by the others when they got up and she didn’t feel so alone of the living room one when she stayed the night.
I could hear everyone else outside walking down the corridors, laughing and chatting spread around, with some distant music being played from somewhere. I didn’t really feel like going out there today I wanted to stay in here and watch Nessa sleep but not in such a pervy way as that sounded.
She just seemed peaceful and her breathing made me happy or was it just her presence that made me happy. She began to stir then causing me to look around my room grabbing a book to make myself look like I was doing something.
“Morning.” She said weakly through her morning voice.
“Oh urm good morning.” I said putting my book down acting like I had been reading his whole time.
She seemed to believe it. Smooth Liam lad.
I yawned I had been a awake for a while peaking out of one of my eyes at Liam who had been looking at me for about 5 minutes now. I had heard the other’s voices outside for a while as well just carrying on their normal morning activities…being loud and mad.
I wondered as I pretended to sleep, what Liam was thinking right now, was he wondering why he let me sleep in his room, was it him deciding if he felt the same way I felt or was he just wishing his thoughts would stop and he could go back to sleep.
I was sick of hearing my own thoughts so decided to pretend to wake up moving my arms about slightly causing Liam to quickly grab a random book and open it pretending to read.
“Morning.” I said through my quiet morning voice.
“Oh urm good morning.” He replied placing the book down, looking quite smug thinking I hadn’t known. Not so smooth Liam lad.
I gave him a smile as I sat up stretching. “I’m guessing everyone else is up?” My voice made me sound uninterested and not bothered to go see everyone.
“Yeah I don’t feel like going out though.” He replied in the same tone.
“Same.” I said standing up walking over and sitting on the end of Liam’s large bed.
“Fancy escaping?” Liam’s face lit up with excitement as he suggested this looking over the only escape which was the window. I nodded grinning at the thought of running off with Liam.
“Just let me get changed!” I said grabbing my bag and running into the bathroom still grinning. Even Liam’s personal bathroom was huge, brightly lit up, with modern tiles everywhere. The whole house was huge, it was more like a hotel really which was very well hidden so no fans knew where they lived.
I quickly got changed adding a slight bit of make-up and letting my hair fall loosely around my face. I smiled I was excited at the thought of a last minute dash to know where.
“Quick I think they’ll come check on..” I opened to door to be faced with Liam closer than I expected. He smiled as I stared into his deep brown eyes admiring them before he took my hand and lead me to the window. “Ready for you adventure?” He asked me helping me through the small gap keeping tight hold of my hand.
“Ready as I will ever be.” I replied as I felt his hand squeeze mine.
As I watched Emma’s leg disappeared through the gap I stood slightly stunned and cringing at the memory of telling Emma she had trust issues. I was so confused right now.
I turned to Louise then we both turned to Harry as he stood in the door way rubbing his temples with his fingers just stood there. “What are you playing at Harry?” Louise asked throwing her hands in the air with Harry shrugging in reply, she hated when people upset her friends just as much as me.
“What do you mean, what am I playing at? I’ve done nothing wrong!” He stood up for himself.
“Why don’t you trust her and what don’t you trust her about?!” I asked stepping in front of Louise.
“She just is being so secret; I walked in on her and Niall like hugging all over each other being all secret and happy! I’m meant to be her boyfriend isn’t she suppose to not keep secrets from me!” He asked the rhetorical question.
“You got to be kidding me.” I heard Louise mutter behind me.
“So she isn’t allowed to be happy with one of her friends, can’t she have a bit of space and there is difference from hugging to ‘all over each other’, don’t you have any sense boy! Are you trying to push her away or something I thought you would be happy now! She is back, you have Rosie and everything is fine but you’re just stood here making a fuss and upsetting people!” I felt like nailing some sense into his bloody head and by the looks of things my speech must have worked because he just stopped and stared. Gobsmacked.
“Smack some sense into yourself boy, she loves you and has gone off upset, pull your socks up and get out that gap in the wall.” Louise stepped forward slapping her hands in front of her face as his face hung open, scared more than anything. “GO BOY!” We both shouted in unison finally smashing some sense into his head as he disappeared quicker than Usain Bolt.
“Bye!” He shouted back from the distance making us chuckle. I turned to face Lou, slightly shocked that had worked but happy at the same time. I pulled Louise by the sides tickling her ribs as she roared with laughter until someone coughed; Rosie was stood in the door way with her hands on her hips looking disapprovingly.
“Auntie Lou and Uncle Lou please can you keep your hands off each other for five seconds, because I want to task you something?” She said staring up at us with her sweet eyes that made you want to melt.
“Sorry.” We both said together. “What can we do for you Rosie?” Louise asked kneeling down next to you.
Rosie grinned before standing on the tippy toes whispering in Louise’s ear as they both looked at me.
With an evil grin.
This cannot be good.
I stepped back worried slightly. “Uncle Lou you know you love me…” And that’s how it began.
“So where are you taking me Liam?” I laughed as he dragged me to his car which was in the back garage.
“I think I have a few ideas.” This is what happened just after we left and what he had told me about the events of today. I was now half way through the day and having already the best day of my life….
It all began with breakfast, Liam insisted he ring up a friend to get us some food since neither of us had eaten and there is no way I can miss one meal apparently. Little did I know that Liam’s friend happened to be a baker for Thorntons Chocolate cakes and sells their flipping ice-cream.
I think I died when I saw the mountain of chocolate cakes, buns and treats followed by a few ice creams which were put into travel coolers and put into the boot of the car sadly meaning I could not eat/devour it all just yet.
We drove a bit more to somewhere out of town, where I had never been before. Up some windy roads that were surrounded by huge landscapes. Travelling for about an hour or so, occasionally talking but mostly singing to the radio which was on full blast with the windows open since there seemed to be no one for miles.
We arrived soon at the top of a cliff edge that over looked the miles of landscapes we had just drove past. I climbed out staring around in disbelief that we were alone and there weren’t tourists having to pay to be here.
“Wow this is amazing.” I said looking around me as Liam unloaded the boot, looked like we were going to have a picnic…and that’s what it started off as until Liam’s hand ‘slipped’.
Oh and when I say ‘slipped’ I mean I was abused and attacked by a cake being shoved into my face. If it hadn’t have tasted so good I would have been shouting ‘rape’ so loud the polar bears would have heard me in the North Pole.
“Right if that’s the way you want to play it.” I said whipping the icing off my eye lids as I picked up a chocolate éclair and a bun jumping on his back quickly before he could fully sprint getting revenge by shoving both into his cheeks and rubbing them in as I kept my legs around his waste.
“Ahh I’m being attacked by cakes!” He shouted spinning around madly while holding onto my legs in a attempt to make me dizzy and let go but I refused holding on for dear life.
I was quite proud I held on actually since he decided to shove about two more cakes on my head backwards when I wasn’t looking. OI REF WE GOT A CHEATER HERE!
In the end we ended up doing angels on the ground in cake as we rolled around, must say I don’t think I have ever been happier. “Cake angel attack!” Liam shouted jumping on top of me rubbing even more cake on me as some fell off him a bit. I was covered in cake with the most gorgeous guy I know and all I could do was laugh and attempt to resist as much as possible.
And that was only at mid-day.
Our laughing was at that stage where you are laughing so hard it has turned silent and our breathing was now well no more. I wanted to clutch my stomach so hard but my arms were pinned down by Liam lying on top of me rubbing ice cream that was on the mat we were laid on into my face as I struggled.
I shook my head from side to side shaking off enough icing so I could now see what I was doing and to see Liam re catching his breath from all the laughing….while still lying on top of me.
Moving closer and closer.
He licked my forehead.
Yes you heard correct full on licked.
“Gotta love the taste of cake” He winked.
Well you want to know what I bloody love Liam? Well I would love the taste of your flipping soft lips against mine! FEED MY TASTEBUDS BOY!
I decided if I wasn’t getting that taste I should at least test the cake except in a less animal/dog way so I wriggled my hand free stealing some off his nose with my finger. God he was right it did taste good.
“You know I’m going to be the size of a balloon by the end of this.” I said as I took some more with him doing the same in return.
“I’ll go running with you to work it off.” He grinned eating more, using his finger this time sadly instead of his tongue.
“You better!” After we had got most of the cake off each others faces I had kind of lost feeling in one of my arms since Liam had half rolled off me and half not and was now mostly laid next to me.
“I’ve ran out.” I complained searching his face unable to find any more so returned to his deep brown eyes which were glistening under the sunlight.
He was smiling a warm smile at me with his hand still on the side of my face, not running his finger along it but just resting it there cupping my cheek while just smiling as he copied my staring, holding his body up with his elbow so he was hovering over me.
“You’ve got nice eyes; they’re like pools of chocolate.” I blurted out before I could think it through, I had just had cake don’t judge me!
He chuckled before speaking a cute innocent laugh not the ones normal boys do with loud cackles but I cute laugh; a Liam laugh. “And you’ve got some more chocolate on your lip.” He pointed out making me lick my lips.
“Gone?” I asked hoping my big chocolate gob wasn’t still there.
“Nope, it’s there want me to get it?” He asked placing his finger into the middle just at the top. I nodded expecting him to wipe it off with his finger which was lying on it but no. It was happening again we were smiling getting closer and closer.
Well he was smiling I wasn’t sure what my face was doing because going through my mind was ‘Oh god is he going to lick my lips like he did my head?!’ because I did not want a kiss that was something my old dog would give and leaving me disturbed.
But it was Liam so maybe a big lick wouldn’t be as bad as my dog.
I smiled though ignoring my thoughts as he kept his tongue in getting nearer right until the moment I finally felt his soft lips against mine and that was it all my thoughts were gone, completely.
I was in a dream world letting my lips move with his for them precious seconds until we pulled apart. “I think that got it.” He whispered still looking at me with the same look I was giving him.
“Thanks.” I replied equally as quiet.
“C’mon I want to take you somewhere before we have to head back.” He stood up pulling me up by the hands. This day just keeps getting better and better.
I ran down the back street quickly to Emma’s car praying it was still sat in the garage around the back. I felt so stupid, Louis couldn’t have been more right I was being an idiot I had nothing to worry about, everything was fine recently and Niall and Emma were just close friends nothing more.
I let out a large sigh when I saw it still in the garage parked but without Emma in it meaning she couldn’t have gotten far. However Liam’s car was gone from its usual parking spot which was weird because it was here earlier when I got back with Rosie and I thought he was still in bed.
I had no time to think and worry though I could find out later, just right now I needed to run, I wasn’t letting her run off again.
I didn’t run long before finding her. She wasn’t far, just sat exactly where I had first thought she would be, sat down by what we called ‘the deep blue pond’ which was just down the back road from the house we all lived in.
I walked over and sat next to her looking out along the water just like her. She didn’t move once just stared out into the space in front of her.
I wasn’t sure what to say at first, I wanted to admit I was wrong, to admit I was an idiot to ask if we could forget about it forever but I just couldn’t. This place means a lot to me or to us, it was one of the reasons me and the lads first looked into buying the house we live in now, because it means to much to all of us but to me and Emma it was one of the best places in the world. I hadn’t been here for years though and the last time I came here was just after Emma left, without her.
I felt like a fool then, kicking myself for letting her go and not doing anything a bit like I did now except this time I wasn’t going to just let her go and not apologise. “Emma…” I began turning to face her.
“No let me speak first!” She protested turning to me, I could see she had slightly wet cheeks from escaping tears and a forehead with deep wrinkles on from frowning as her blonde hair blew loosely in the wind. “Do you actually love me?” She asked me straight, no pauses just straight. My jaw dropped at the thought she could even think that.
“Emma!” I said shocked still not believing she had even asked, but I was stopped again as she continued to speak.
“I mean, I’ve just been thinking adding the reasons up and everything..” This was a thing Emma did she would look at all the possibilities, all the negatives, all the reasons against everything. It was something she always did because she was quite sensible and always has an opinion and the sensible answer for everything even if she knew it wasn’t the best answer. “…and it’s just you didn’t stop me from leaving when I found out a pregnant, you went and had flings with loads of other girls, by the looks of things you don’t trust me and the biggest one is you never found me when I was gone, you never came to save me Harry and that what is making me wonder the most right now.” A tear fell down her cheek again and I think my heart may have slightly broken.
I didn’t notice till I opened my mouth and I felt a splash of water against the skin on the back on my hand that I was crying a little bit too. “Emma, don’t ever ask such a question again, I love you with all my heart, my past I regret I wish I had stopped you, I wish you’d never left, I tried to find you but no matter how hard I tried it was nearly impossible and I was just about to give up with everything then. I wanted the pain of missing you to stop and I just wanted to make my heart stop hurting so that’s why I had flings but no matter how hard I tried they were nothing and never helped. They made it worse because when I lost the only girl I’ve ever loved I realised that without her there is no point in trying to forget because you never will be able to replace the feeling of true love, that only happens with one girl. Emma that girl is you, I love you more than the world and I was stupid but now I want to just live my life like it is now, happy and with my little daughter, friends and only you Emma, I’m so sorry.”
My heart pained right until she let the tears of relief stream down her cheeks. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, I could take no more I threw my arms around her pulling her so close to my chest and so close to my heart that my arms hurt but I couldn’t care because when you’ve found that person who can just smile and it makes your day, who can make you laugh effortlessly, who can be your best friend, who can be there when you’re sad and can just make your life the whole lot better you know you’re in love and then when you lose them and you finally realise just how much you would do anything to see them smile again, when you realise just how much you want to be there for them no matter what, you finally know just how much you love them and will travel the world to feel that feeling forever.
And if you ever get lucky and get that person back after losing them make sure you do one thing and that is never let them go again, because there is only one person who will make you feel that way and if you let them go again and you are stupid enough to make the same mistake twice you will regret it forever.
“You have no idea how much I love you Emma.” I whispered into her hair squeezing her that extra bit more and this is what I planned to do, just never let her go because the pain of real heart break can never be fixed and is the most painful feeling you will ever feel.
He held me tight, so tight towards his chest I could feel his heart beat bounding through his chest right against mine. Tears streamed silently down both of our cheeks, I had never heard Harry say anything like that before with such emotion.
“Hey look no more crying now, everything is okay now, we’re okay right?” Harry said letting his arms drop slightly so I could sit up and face him. I nodded smiling as I felt his thumb rub the still tears away from my cheek.
We just sat still looking out along the large lake. I hadn’t been to ‘The Deep Blue Pond’ for a long time, it was my favourite place in the whole world for a number of reasons and memories I had here. It was where we had spent nearly every day in summer from sunrise to sunset, it was where Louis had brought me and Eloise to meet all of One Direction for some bonding time, it was where me and Harry had first told each other about our feelings, it was where he had first asked me out, where I had fallen asleep more than once in his arms as we watched the stars and finally it was where he first told me he loved me.
All the best moments of my life, that I will remember my whole life.
“Liam where are we going?” I asked as he dragged me through a path through a series of bushes and twigs with light sweeping through slightly.
“Here put this on, I don’t want you to see it yet.” He took off of his white tight t-shirt that was stained with chocolate and cake before tying the soft fabric around my eyes before I had time to examine. “Now jump onto my back.” He instructed as he placed my hands on his shoulders showing my blind body where he was. I jumped on and clung on for dear life as he jogged down the path way.
He stopped still then and I could tell by the heat resting on my back we were out of the bushed area and into a more open area. “Where are we?” I asked trying to peak under the bottom of the blind fold.
“You’ll find out in a second but first I want to ask you one thing, do you trust me?” His breath was uneven from the jogging but returning back to normal.
“With my life.” I whispered into his ear hearing him chuckle slightly.
“Good now keep your eyes tightly shut until I tell you to open them, and hold on!” He told me removing the material revealing my eyes which I kept squeezed tight shut nodding and holding on tighter. I felt him suddenly run forward and then leap before shouting. “OPEN THEM!”
I opened my eyes quickly.
DEAR GOD WE’RE FALLING.
Below us was a deep dark lake getting closer and closer.
I opened my mouth to scream still holding onto Liam tightly right till the moment we crashed into the deep water. The lake was very deep and I had somehow lost my grip of Liam as I went under, I kicked my legs reaching up for the surface in slight panic until I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist pulling me up until we reached the surface.
I gasped at the air rubbing my eyes to see I was surrounded by deep water with Liam holding tightly onto my waist, above us the huge drop we had just jumped off. I looked at him shocked as he looked timidly at me afraid of a telling off but I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, adrenaline was still pumping through my body and I felt great. He joined in still keeping hold of my petite body as we moved our legs softly underneath us to keep us a float.
“So what did you think of my jump?” He asked grinning.
“Couldn’t have been more elegant!” I remembered the images of the big splash and the slight scream escaping from both of our mouths before.
“Forget flying I can fall in style!” He put on the voice of Buzz Light year from Toy Story making me laugh more; I couldn’t take this laughing and keeping myself a float.
“Stop making me laugh you goon!” I splashed him as he held one arm out in a super hero style using the other to hold us up.
“Oh so it’s a water fight you want is it?” He splashed me back harder with one hand. Right I needed to win this, he had beaten me at the cake fight we was not beating me at a water fight, I did a big splash.
“Right you’re going to get it now!” He began to tickle my sides as I kicked my legs viciously laughing and splashing as he laughed at my pathetic reaction. “Li..am…sto…” was what I got out in between laughs, I could be quite ticklish. I kicked my legs harder and splashed more until I felt the tickling stop and his hand grab the sides of my face as well.
Then before I could react his lips were pressed hard against mine again, this time with much more emotion and passion. I began to kiss back smiling and instantly stopping my laughing and my kicking legs. I could feel him slide back as we both sank slightly into the water now kissing under the surface not needing air anymore. One of Liam’s hands drifted from the side of my head towards me waste pulling me closer towards him as he lightly kicked and supported us close enough to the surface for us to return to later.
I never wanted there to be a later though, I forgot any problems I had ever had, any worries about life and just travelled to a whole other world when I was with Liam and kissing up through me past the other world and right in the wonderland.
However staying in Wonderland forever is sadly not allowed in this cruel world and we separated smiling as we reached the surface gasping. I was shocked but so happy, I couldn’t have been happier with my life than I was at this moment in time.
We swam together over to a large rock sticking out of the water climbing on. The cake had pretty much was washed off now except a bit I could see at the back of Liam’s head which I was too nice to tell him about. We both sat there with me lying on his bare chest as he breathed in perfect rhythm sending me drowsy.
The sun was setting in the distance now turning the sky a mixture of shade of orange and reds. “Today has been completely perfect.” I felt Liam whisper to me as he stroked my head. “Thank you Nessa.”
“No, thank you Liam today has been amazing thank you.” I replied with yawning as I felt my eyes drift off, the last thing I saw was the top of the sun disappearing behind the horizon winking good night to the world.
I woke up the next day in Liam’s bed, on my own with the sunlight of the next day shining through the curtains. I questioned if yesterday was real or was it all a dream until I noticed a bit of cake still stuck in a small strand of my hair. I grinned as I realised it was all real, that I had the perfect day yesterday, the perfect kiss and Liam had ended it in the sweetest way possible by bringing me home safely to bed.
That was three days ago now and since then me and Liam have hardly had a full conversation and he is acting like the whole day never happened. It was like it was all a dream really and I wasn’t going to tell anyone because that was my real dream and if Liam wasn’t going to tell then neither was I. But why didn’t he want to?
The last few days had been so busy and it seemed like the only time I had free time was when I was hanging out with Sam. We had gotten a lot closer recently since we both went out for the day a few days ago.
We had gone for a walk, lunch and a bit of site seeing of some places around London he knew like small cafes. I was slightly worried Niall would be annoyed with me when I came home since he seemed annoyed when I left but he seemed as jolly as he could get when I arrived home to the normal life in the mad house.
I walked through the door to find Louis dressed up in a bright pink puffy dress which was clearly too small for him as he pranced around the room dancing with teddy bear occasionally pouring tea into fake china cups set around the room for people.
I had never been more confused in my life until I saw what was fully happening; Louise and Malaikah where hidden behind a chair filming what was going on laughing their heads off at not only Louis dancing around it the weirdest dress ever but I now noticed Zayn being instructed by Rosie to sit up straight as he sipped his tea…he did not look as amused as Louis.
Niall was the funniest though stood in pink plastic heals with red lipstick on his face as he pulled on the tightest sparkling top I had ever seen. “Right now you’re all ready; it’s time for the performance, like I told you boys!” Rosie instructed.
All the three boys took their places grumbling and adjusting their tight outfits. If I’m honest I think Louis was actually looking forward to this ‘performance’. I took a seat next to Louise wheezing with laughter all ready just catching my breath until I heard the backing music begin and Zayn go in a grumpy voice “Hiya Barbie!” followed by Louis in the most campest voice in the world say “Hi Ken!”
Yes they were doing Barbie girl….
Good bye breathable lungs.
“I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!” Louis started singing twirling a small flick of his hair singing the lyrics.
“C’mon Niall and Zayn do your voices!” Rosie instructed as she pranced in front hitting them on the head with a stick each which seemed to work because next thing you know Zayn is all over being the macho Ken and Niall is acting like a freaking fairy sharing Barbie’s (or Louis as some call him) lines.
My ribs felt like they were cracking as I rolled around laughing.
Yes I was actually bloody ROFLing.
Dear lord now he is singing with a hairbrush while applying lipstick.
I couldn’t see much more since my eyes were watering so much from the laughing. Thank god we filmed it.
I see a new hit clip in the weird part of youtube.
“Oh I love you Ken!” The two Barbie’s announced placing kisses on the sides of ‘Kens’ cheeks when Emma and Harry walked in snuggling into each other not even realising what they’re friends were doing.
Until Louis shouted “Oh my god it’s another Ken!” before pouncing on Harry wrapping his legs around him and stroking his curls dramatically.
I looked at Emma who was stood with her mouth open shocked for a good minute before erupting into a fit of laughs joining all us girls rolling on the floor.
That was a few days ago now and ‘Now or Never’ filming had to be done.
The show was really funny it had been showing for a few days now and was getting really big reviews. A couple of people had already left from being voted out and now all that was left was the excitable Janet women, the two twins Eve and Lilly and finally Sam who was favourite to win with nearly everyone except Emma; she never wanted to talk to him and seemed to always keep a safe distance. Niall and Zayn had been a bit weird around him as well not as opening as the others had been for some reason.
They were filming the last bits of the semi-final today which apparently involved pits of slim, singing while being hung upside down and some dancing. Just your average show I guess. All the girls decided to go with the boys to the studio today for a bit since none of us had anything to do and no one was working.
We all climbed into a separate car from the boys and told them we would meet them there since Louise was slightly late arriving. The silence in the car was very odd everyone seemed to look worried or annoyed about something except me and Louise. Emma and Nessa were both looking out the window with far away thoughts while Malaikah was on her phone staring out the screen with a frown.
“El what’s up with everyone?” Louise whispered to me.
“I haven’t got a clue.” I was about to ask them all but then I felt the car jerk forward slightly as we arrived to no shock but a sea full of fans.
Okay maybe a sea full is a bit of the top, maybe a lake full instead.
We went in through the side door and decided we would probably come back out later to talk to some since a lot of the time they were really nice and just wanted to meet the guys.
I walked through the now familiar corridors with the girls behind me. I hadn’t said much since I found out we were coming here today because I just didn’t like the thought of having to see Sam again and the thought of a conversation with him again worried me.
I had been planning out in my head the whole car journey what I would say if we did talk which was something along the lines of; ‘Fuck off’ but in more detail. He had been getting closer to Eloise more and everyone else which I could see was annoying Niall even though he tried so hard to hide it still believing he had nothing to worry about.
We sat in one of the spare dressing rooms for a while not doing much just reading magazines and the occasional chat the boring usual waiting or chilling. “Hey how about we go meet some of the fans outside?” Louise suggested, I loved meeting the fans because some could be so lovely and since they found out I was back I had so many lovely messages from people through twitter.
“Yeah sure, I just got to go to the loo for a second and then I’ll come join you.” I told them all as they headed one way down the hall and I headed the other. They all seemed to be happy except Malaikah she looked worried more than anything about meeting people, as they left she walked slower and slightly behind.
It didn’t take long for me to realise why though, it was obvious and I was shocked Eloise hadn’t realised yet. The fans had just found out about Louise and Malaikah dating one of the boys and as we all know fans can be quite harsh to news like that, I could see Louise just shrugged any mean comments off but maybe Malaikah was taking it a lot harder than we all thought.
I could see the toilet in site in front of me now and was nearly there till I felt a huge tug on my shoulder pulling me in the opposite direction and spinning me around to see…oh great it would be freaking billion face boy; Sam.
“Hey Emma!” He said over cheerily as I rolled my eyes. “How you doing recently, still happy with Harry and everyone?” I scowled this guy was already annoying me.
“Yes, I was very happy till I was freaking abusively snatched from the path to the toilet!”
“Oh really?” He sounded shocked for reason I could not understand if it was because it was the fact I needed the bloody toilet or I was happy.
“Yes I am why do you sound so shocked?” I questioned crossing my arms across my chest standing shocked as I examined him up and down. He had got a slightly better sense of style since being on the show and had grown a bit of light stubble which made his jaw look more firm and him older.
“Nothing just I think you could do better.” I scowled at his response.
“Listen Sam…” My voice was stern, speech time. “I don’t know what you think, but I’m just going to say now don’t you ever dare say anything bad about Harry and me, not many people might be able to see your true colours but I tend to be quite good at that so I’m just warning now don’t act around me, it’s pointless.” I voice was quiet yet strong.
This time his smile changed into a devilish grin, more intimidating than the one before with it slightly tipping upwards at one side he was showing his second face again. “My true colours Emma, are your biggest dream not your biggest nightmare, you’re not as good at reading people as you think, but I am and I know what you’re thinking deep down.” He whispered gripping my wrist slightly but out of view causing me to wince but keep my look firm.
“And what exactly is that?” I had hatred to him stronger than any hatred I had ever had for someone and I had only talked to him twice.
“That something isn’t right but you don’t know what.” He whispered his breath sending chills down my spine; his words were calm in a way warming a sweet yet also sinister.
“I do know, I know you’re not right.”
“Wrong answer sweet.” He said kissing me on my cheek so close to my mouth it made me cringe before I pushed him away.
“Stay away from me, stay away from everyone including Eloise you creep.” I snarled turning away from him I now noticed he had somehow managed to pull us into a hidden part of the room without me even noticing.
“You can’t have everything your own way Emma.” He said after me as I headed back to the bathroom.
I walked silently behind as we headed outside to meet the fans. Everyone had just found out about Zayn and me and well some hadn’t been as welcoming. Louise has just been found out too but she seemed to be strong and shrug off the comments mostly, I however am not as good as that.
Yes I got lovely tweets from fans saying they were happy for me but I also got some quite horrible ones from fans who for some reason already hated me. “C’mon Malaikah stop being in your dream world!” Eloise pulled me out towards the crowds who were resting against barriers as Louise and Nessa walked to the other swarm of them.
“Eloise, Eloise!” I heard two girls shout to El as we headed in their direction me walking behind.
“Hey girls, you alright?” She asked with a cheery tone, everyone loved Eloise and Niall’s relationship I had seen the lovely stuff they said.
“Yes even better your here now, how is Niall and everything?” A girl with reddish hair asked.
“Great, he is great, they’re all great as usual and I’ll tell him you were asking about him.” She smiled at them causing the young girls face to brighten up.
“Thank you so much!” The girl fangirled slightly making me smile to see her be happy.
“Listen girls I want to introduce you to Malaikah.” El brought me forward by the arm in front of the crowd of girls turning me instantly insecure.
“Oh my god yes you’re dating Zayn aren’t you!” Another girl said with short black hair.
“Urm yes well one of the girl’s dating Zayn, he has millions of other girlfriend’s as well who I know are mentally dating him apparently.” I had heard Emma say something like that before and I had always thought of it in the same way, the girls seemed to all laugh including Eloise. We spoke to the girls for a bit and they seemed to be really friendly nothing saying no comments like others had said to me.
“I knew you weren’t what everyone said you were like.” The girl with the black hair said again. “The way Zayn tweets and stuff now you can tell he is happy and you seemed so much nicer than everyone says.” I knew people had been saying stuff about me a lot.
“Oh yeah thanks that means a lot.” I smiled at her I liked this girl a lot.
“Don’t listen to what a lot of the people say, just be yourself and they will soon come around and most fans will be happy if you and Zayn are happy.” The girl seemed to know exactly what I was thinking.
“Thank you, that really means a lot to hear a fan say that.” I replied with. I spoke to her and the other girls for a little longer and shockingly some wanted pictures with me. I took a few twitter names as well and some presents they wanted us to give to the boys before we went to see Nessa and Louise who had now been joined by Emma.
“So you and Liam are just friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend?” A fan asked Nessa and my heart really did go out to her, I knew how much she liked Liam.
“No urm just friends.” She replied with a fake smile which the girls accepted, I tabbed her back gently informing her I was there for her.
“Sorry girls we got to go now we will tell the boys to come out when we see them for you.” I told them as I began to walk away with everyone but Emma who had just been called by a fan.
“Hey Emma are you okay you look a bit down?” One of them asked.
“Yeah I’m fine, don’t worry sweet I’m just very tired.” She replied smiling till she turned around and began frowning something was up with her now as well.
I went to talk to her once we got inside but then heard voices behind me “FOUND THEM!” Zayn shouted running and throwing me over his shoulder running off with me around the room laughing with the just running in being less caveman like and keeping their girlfriends to the ground.
“Ahh Zayn put me down!” I laughed hitting him on the back till he placed me down in front of me.
“Someone is happy.” I joked as he placed a kiss on my cheek walking us back over to the others.
“I could say the same about you; you looked a bit down this morning compared to now.” He replied.
“Yeah urm…” I felt silly for feeling upset over something so small.
“The fans have been at her.” Eloise butted in catching everyone’s attention, some of the boys past girl friends had left because of fan comments.
They all began to panic reassuring me it would be fine they’re just comments and telling me to not listen to them. “Please Maliakah don’t listen to them they come around I swear.” Zayn told me face to face with everyone agreeing behind him, they all thought I was going to leave.
“It’s fine Zayn I’ve spoken to come fans who were lovely I’m not going to let it get to me now.” I reassured them as they let out a sigh each making me laugh.
“Thank god!” Zayn smiled pulling me forward shocking me. “Hey listen they’re going to come steal me away soon so how about before they do we go hide for as long as we can, I haven’t just had time to talk to you in ages.”
I smiled grabbing Zayn’s hand I liked the idea of running out and hiding from everyone because he was right we were never alone much now, yes when I went around to the boy’s house we had practically a flat area to ourselves as Zayn’s room was huge but it wasn’t the same we felt trapped.
When no one was looking we quickly crept out the door and sprinted down the hallway Zayn holding on to my hand tight as he ran laughing but shh’ing me as he did. Once out of sight we slowed down and just walked holding each other’s hands in comfortable silence.
“I’m so glad you’re fine with the fans.” Zayn smiled as he spoke. “I’ve lost people in the past because of it and have been looking for someone who is alright with it and who I like and well I do really like you Malaikah so thank you so much.” He stopped turned to look at me with a serious expression on his face. “I know it’s been a bit hard with it all recently and us not getting as much time together but listen I don’t want that to stop us I want to be with you for as long as I can be.” His serious face changed into a shy smile as his cheeks blushed ever so slightly.
I was staring in awe at him; I didn’t know what to say so instead I just grabbed him. Yes I know it sounds a bit violent but it wasn’t. I held the side of his face and kissed him with his lips straight away reacting with mine and kissing back with his hands holding onto the side of my face now as mine went loose.
I think my knee caps just disappeared.
Good bye standing legs.
“WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE YEAH!” Was shouted down the corridor breaking us apart.
“Bloody hell now they choose to do it!” Zayn muttered grabbing my hand and hiding me out of sight behind a pillar.
“What the hell are they..” Zayn broke off my voice by covering his hand over my mouth whispering softly into my ear.
“Shh they’ll hear you.” I felt his lips kiss just below my ear.
MOTHER OF GOD FORGETS THEE KNEE CAPS THEE WHOLE LEGS DESTROYED WELL PAST JELLY STAGE!
I instantly shut up as I felt him kissing my cheek softly and the voice of singing increased. I tried hard to keep my legs standing and my eyes on the lookout for who was coming down the corridor waiting.
“WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE YEAH YEAH!” I heard the voice gets closer following slight laughter when I saw who it was. Louis and Harry doing the ‘I’m sexy and I know it’ wiggle dance down the corridor. “I’M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!” Harry shouted continuing to wiggle past down the corridor not even noticing us.
“Damn look at that body!” Louis smacked Harry’s arse as he pretended to admire and faint at the sight of the flesh Harry was flashing lifting his shirt up.
“Yeah I work out!” was the last thing I heard as he clenched his biceps disappearing down the corridor with Louis behind pretending to dry hump Harry.
Now I have seen everything.
Zayn slowly removed his hand letting my jaw drop. “What the?” was all that came out.
“Something we were doing earlier when we got bored.” Zayn said turning me so my back was now resting against the pillar. I must have given him an even more shocked look as his cupped my face and kissed me harder than before.
Oh great here we go again limps don’t let me down now!
I sat with Niall as he drew patterns on my legs with me resting my head on his shoulder. “Hey El I was urm wondering since we haven’t had much time together and it’s a special time of year can I take you out next weekend?” He blushed looking suddenly nervous.
I felt like jumping for the sky, he had remembered he had bloody remembered.
PRAISE JESUS AND ALL HIS GORGEOUS FOLLOWERS…oh and god.
Can’t forget good old god.
“You remembered?!” I smiled knowing the answer.
“Remember what?” My smile stopped till I saw the corner of his lips twitching upwards.
“NIALL! Don’t tease me like that!” I slapped his arm lightly.
“Of course I remembered you goof it’s our anniversary of course, so do I have the privilege of taking you out?” He asked as formally as possible.
“Yes you do have the very privilege.” I smiled; I had been so worried he had forgotten as we had both been so busy lately. I leant forward to kiss him softly and slowly the method for one of our more meaningful kisses that I always remembered.
“Good wear something nice.” He whispered into my ear his breath sent shivers right down to my toes.
*Emma’s POV later that night*
It had been a fairly busy day and by the looks of things an extra long night.
“Why is she doing this to me?” Niall groaned throwing his head back covering his face with his hands.
“Look mate stop worrying, she will be back soon she is a big girl and they’re just friends just go to bed and sleep it off.” Liam told Niall rubbing his shoulder.
“Yeah don’t worry about it man, just get some rest and we’ll sort it in the morning yeah?” Zayn added yawning. Niall did a stiff nod keeping his head in his hands before mumbling a ‘thanks’. “Okay let’s all just get to bed I’m shattered!” Zayn said standing up.
“Yeah I agree with Zayn let’s just all get some sleep I can’t keep my eyes open and we’ve got an early start, you coming babe?” Harry asked standing up from sitting next to me.
“I’ll come soon I’m going to watch a bit of TV first, just check Rosie is okay for me before you get into bed?” I asked kissing him and letting go of his hand.
“Sure night beautiful.” Harry smiled turning around. “Come on little one let’s put you in bed as well.” Harry mumbled picking Louis up in his arms like a baby, Louis went out like a light as soon as we got home.
I swear to god Louis was just as much of a kid as Rosie and Harry treated Louis exactly the same as he treated Rosie.
“Night baby Louis!” I laughed as Harry carried him to bed with Louis snoring in reply.
“Don’t worry about it all Niall it will be fine.” Liam said rubbing his eyes which I could see had grown two lots of dark circles underneath recently and now that I thought about it something looked like something was always on his mind or bothering him. Liam stood up and headed out the door before I jumped up after him.
“Hey Liam are you okay, you look a bit in another world if you get me?” I asked examining the purple bags closer.
“Yeah, just a few things on my mind.” Well that had Nessa wrote all over it.
“Liam I’m just going to say this I’m not sure what happened that day you both went missing or if anything did but I know she likes you and well just follow your heart you’ve got nothing to lose.” I rubbed the side of his arm.
“Cheers Em I’ll see you tomorrow night.” He disappeared back into his own room rubbing his forehead alone since I was the only girl in the house who was staying tonight.
I returned back to Niall who was sat in the same position I left him in silence. I wasn’t sure what to say at first, it felt like everything had been said really, Eloise had gone out with Sam again quite late even though Niall had told her he wasn’t comfortable with how much she was seeing of him and well as you can see Niall is having all guns blazing in his head.
“She said yes you know.” Niall removed his hands from his face to look at me. “To going out and everything with our anniversary plans.” I grinned, I was so excited to see El’s reaction when she saw what Niall had planned and got her, I knew she would love it.
“Missions are all go!” I smiled and I think this is the first time tonight I had been his lips turn up.
“Yeah if she doesn’t leave me first.” He muttered removing the smile.
“Niall she will not do that just do as the guys say and go to bed, rest and we will talk about it in the morning.” He gave me a weak smile before getting up and agreeing heading back to his bed shouting night and thanks before he left.
I had no plans to go to bed till this was sorted in my own methods.
I woke up the next morning to see Eloise sleeping across from me with a small blanket over the top of her. Memories of last night started to flood back of our half sleepy conversation/ sight bit of an argument occurred.
I glanced at the clock to see it was only 6:00am but if we didn’t get up and sort this out now the boys would have to get involved.
I felt so bad, Niall had told me he wasn’t happy with the amount of time I was spending with Sam and I just flipped. I had been with him for so long and it was like now he was telling me I wasn’t allowed any other friends apart from him, the boys and the girls and I couldn’t see Sam.
I guess I over reacted but I just felt the need to get my feelings off my chest before leaving and the fact I was left and went straight to Sam was making me feel more guilty now.
I had been out with him for hours at a small cafe we had found on our travels once. It was sweet, quiet and open really late with only the odd slightly drunk man coming in or a woman working late or maybe even a teenager escaping from the stressful life at home hiding from their real life.
I could relate to the teenager most, the feeling of wanting to escape, to be one your own and forget when times were hard was something I had done for a while going anywhere in desperate search for space.
I was having a great time with Sam he felt like a really close friend someone I could tell a lot to and he would never tell anyone, I could feel like I trusted him and I didn’t understand why others didn’t.
The only awkward conversation we had was when he asked me why Emma didn’t seem to like him. I couldn’t exactly deny the fact the girl seemed to hate his guts as she never spoke about him, ignored every comment that was made about him unless it was bad and well it looked like she would be sick every time he walked into a room with her.
I had told him I thought it was because she didn’t like trusting quite new people and she had some problems with it in the past but he should just ignore it and ignore her because that was just her opinion. However it was when he had asked why she didn’t trust many people that made me realise I had probably said more than I should so changed the conversation quickly.
It was getting beyond late now and I was beginning to get worried about walking home. “Maybe I should go it’s getting more like raping weather out there.” I had said indicating to the outside darkness.
“Raping weather?” Sam asked laughing as he drank the last bit of his strong coffee.
“Yeah it’s what Emma called the dark when she was younger so her mum would pick her up and she didn’t have to walk home in the cold.” I laughed at the memories of Emma ringing up people to complain about the ‘scary raping weather’ that was outside so they would walk her home and especially if it was a guy that liked her they would never not offer to walk her home.
It was genius.
“Ah right well I’ll walk you back don’t worry about that.” Sam smiled his photogenic grin at me enough to make most hearts melt at the second. It did with mine slightly but as soon as I thought of Niall it melted ten times more.
“I’ve had a brilliant night tonight Elle.” Sam smiled as we got closer to the boys apartment where we left each other to avoid being snapped and rumours going around.
“Same thanks for this.” I smiled back turning to face him getting ready for our good bye hug wraping my arms around him. I let go but his hands kept remained tight on the small of my back keeping me closer.
“You look really beautiful tonight.” He smiled as his memorizing eyes were staring right into mine. You could not deny he was gorgeous.
“Thanks.” I replied feeling slightly uncomfortable so moving back a step only for him to pull me closer. My heart rate was increasing I could tell something was coming and I needed to get up but my body froze.
“You’re great.” He whispered closely before leaning forward eyes closed inches away from my lips touching his. I could feel his breath coming through his nose one last time before all my sense kicked in and pushed him back.
“What the fuck are you doing Sam?!” I shouted stepping away from him holding my hands out and for a few seconds I swear I saw a Sam I had never seen before, something in his eyes made me feel uncomfortable, intimidated and slightly scared.
“I’m so sorry god I can’t believe that I’m really sorry Elle.” He was back to himself again panicking as he reputedly apologised. “Damn please forgive me.” He gave me them eyes them damn puppy dog eyes.
Curse the cuteness.
“It’s okay, just don’t try that again please that was out of order.” I stayed stern and a few steps away as I gave an awkward wave good bye followed by a smile as I heard him let out a breath of relief.
I gave one last look back to see he was gone completely there was no sign of him. I was confused increasing my uneven steps rerunning the moment that just happened in my mind questions flooding in at 100mph. Why did he do that? What took me so long to stop him? Why am I so creped out now?
I noticed most of the lights were out as I approached the large building. The windows were all dark showing no movement or life inside, I followed the row of clear glass windows passing everyone’s room till I finally reached mine and Niall’s room. It was dark, alone and looked lost and quiet and completely clueless as was Niall inside.
Guilt hurt my stomach then, maybe Niall had been right and Sam was bad news and that I was giving him the wrong impression or maybe it was just a onetime thing but even though nothing happened I still felt the horrible pain inside me of the truth wanting to be told as it began to eat inside.
I used my key to unlock the grand door followed by a quick pass key. Each time I unlocked this door I felt like I was entering a new world and had done for the many years I had been living here ever since I left my parents. At first I was just moving in with Louis mostly till I found a new place but that didn’t last long as the place turned into home a lot quicker than I had ever thought. The idea of leaving never crossed my mind now.
I closed the door behind me and walked down the dark corridor in an attempt not to wake anyone up. As I got closer to the end I noticed a small light was on inside one of the living rooms, an indication I was not the only one who was awake.
I walked quietly inside searching as I entered for who ever had left the light on but was unable to find anyone.
“Finally back El?” Emma said behind me scaring the living lights out of me. She emerged from behind the door lowering an umbrella.
Well I guess an umbrella is better than what she normally grabs when she is scared…a old set of bongo thing.
Yes you heard right, it was her deadliest weapon.
“Urm Em, why have you got an umbrella?” I asked examining the black wrapped up material.
“Thought you were a robber but ah well forget that, where the hell have you been?” She looked mad and her stare was intense.
“Urm I was with Sam..” The second I said his name her eyes rolled, I felt like I was in trouble, for what I wasn’t sure if it was because of what just happened outside with him or leaving Niall after our disagreement.
“What are you playing at El?! Seriously you’ve got everything you ever wanted, you’re happy, you’re in love why do you want to go near a guy who could destroy that!” She low shouted careful not to wake others up.
“I don’t want to bloody ruin everything Emma I just want some freedom and someone else to talk to who I’m not afraid is going to bloody blab, just because you hate him and he is a boy! I mean for god sake why you even hate him?!” I copied her tone of voice frustrated.
“Just a boy, so you’re not attracted to him at all? You’re not sat flirting with him while Niall is at home planning stuff for your anniversary!”
I felt guilt again. Eating me quietly.
“Why do you hate him?” I asked quietly and less of a shout this time.
“He isn’t right for you El that’s why, he has done no good and he is two faced beyond belief you may not see it but I can. Open your eyes El, think has there been one second where you’ve looked at him and he looks different or one comment he has said which isn’t quite right?” Emma was describing the exact feeling I had felt earlier when he leant into kiss me. I couldn’t take it anymore I needed to get it out.
I sighed frustrated. “Okay stop please there was one moment earlier.” My brain was shouting ‘SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!’ But the guilt was shouting ‘get it out now!’ Emma stood there arms crossed waiting. “When he leant into kiss me.” She stood still for five seconds and I could see it building up inside her, the stupid rage and anger.
“You better be about to tell me you stopped him El before I chuck you out of here myself.” Emma hated cheating it disgusted her people could do that.
“I did Emma I swear on my life I did nothing I pushed him away and shouted at him and I never kissed him ever!” She sighed rubbing her head. “He looked weird though when he was leaning in like there was something not right on his mind like he wasn’t what he had been all along around me.”
She let out a big huff. “I know babe but right now I can’t think and my head hurts so just lie down and sleep and we will sort this in the morning.” Emma instructed pointing to a blanket on the long couch where she had obviously been resting earlier, waiting for me.
The guilt felt less after telling Emma but the fear she would tell Niall grew and so did my confusion about what I thought of Sam.
I jumped quickly off the couch over to the one El was sleeping on still wearing last night’s clothes. I hadn’t had much sleep last night I had spent most of the night awake thinking of what Sam was up to, he seemed like he was coming on to me at first and now El with his creepy side. None of it made sense anymore.
“Eloise wake up, we need to go sort this all out.” I nudged her awake rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I got a groan in reply as she opened her eyes slightly looking around not recognising or remembering last night straight away.
“Ergh I was hoping it was a dream.” El moaned throwing her head back hard against the cushioned surface below.
“No sadly not now get up we’re going out, we need to find Sam we need to find out what is going on with him before the guys wake up.” I explained as she got up and got her jacket that she had thrown on the floor next to her.
We walked in the direction of the door. “Hey Em are these your shoes?” El stopped. Ergh typical at this time when they’re in the middle of finding out if a guy is mentally messed up she is wondering if she can borrow my shoes. I turned around to see her holding a cute pair of pumps that I hadn’t seen last night.
“Urm no they look like Nessa’s shoes actually.” Her jacket I could see was hung over the banister by the bottom of the stairs, yep defiantly Nessa that was where she hung her jacket every time. “She must have come late last night, come on we need to go now.”
We left out the door with no idea where to head just in the direction our feet took us and anywhere we could think of.
After walking for a good hour I collapsed onto a wooden bench Eloise copying my actions. We had checked everywhere and I was getting more into day now meaning more people would be out soon and well we didn’t exactly look great in the middle of a park with dark circles under our eyes and yesterdays clothes.
I pulled my hair into a bob on top of my head so it looked less messy and placed a pair of sunglasses over my eyes that I kept in my bag ever since I had come back after a warning Harry had given me about flashes on cameras hurting them if you got papped and also they apparently make me look ‘cool’.
My phone started vibrating against my leg as it rung. I pulled it out to see Harry’s name flashing on my screen followed by a picture of a bum. Oh great Louis had changed my caller ID pictures again.
I swear to god that boy is not right.
I hesitated but answered anyway surrendering to the fact we would probably have to head back now. “Hello?” I answered.
“Emma where are you? You’re not in the house and you never came to bed last night!” He sounded confused.
“Yes because I’m out you idiot” I laughed at his confusion it made him sound so cute. “I was just getting some bits with El this morning and I fell asleep on the couch last night.”
El suddenly hit my arm pointing ahead of her “Ahh okay well I need to head to the studio soon are you…” The rest of what Harry said was a blur I was too shocked at was I was staring at in front of me.
“What the fuck?!” I half shouted before realising kids were around.
“What do you mean what the fuck I said what time are you back?” Harry sounded confused and slightly mad; he wasn’t one for much swearing.
“Urm sorry no I was talking to El urm I’m heading back in a sec Haz, listen can you put Liam on for a second, I need to talk to him.” El sat her gob wide open unable to speak from shock and confusion.
“Okay he is in a bit of a mood I think, why do you want to talk to him?” He asked as I heard him knock on Liam’s door.
“Harry just do it please I just need to talk to him about something I’ll explain later I promise babe.” He sighed but agreed mumbling to Liam something before the voices changed.
“What?” Liam groaned he was not in a good mood.
“Is Nessa there?”
“No.” This was going to be a long conversation.
“She was though I know she was, spill Liam what happened.” He groaned showing obvious lack of effort to tell but gave in.
“We had a fight, she came around to talk because we both decided we needed to sort everything out, she said that the other day I had led her on and done nothing after and now I was doing nothing but hurting her. I know now she was right I just didn’t realise, she said she couldn’t do the mind games anymore and she would do better without me, I was mad and stupid so agreed and told her she was better off leaving then. I can’t get hold of her now, I’ve messed up again haven’t I Em?” I sighed he sounded really upset.
“Oh god Liam I’m sorry to say this but you really have messed up.” I hated to admit it but what I was seeing in front of me couldn’t be more confusing.
Nessa was stood locking lips with Sam.
I was still in shock as we walked home. El and I had resorted in the end to watch for a bit longer in a bush till the pain of having a twig shoved up your arse for bloody 20 minutes hurt too much. We had watched them kiss and leave together holding hands. I was in shock I could not believe what she was doing.
She really liked Liam why would she have a fight with him and then go after Sam none of it seemed right at all.
*A few days later*
None of us had seen Nessa or heard from her for a few days now, nothing at all, not a text, call, tweet, facebook inbox…NOTHING.
It was the final of ‘Now Or Never’ tonight and there was one trial left so we had decided to come watch and then the winners would be announced tomorrow night.
It was between Eve and Lilly the twins and Sam, no one really had much idea but I was sat/on my knees praying to god it was the twins or I would die. I hadn’t seen Sam since the other day either and Eloise had stopped all contact with him us both still confused beyond belief.
We had decided not to tell Liam the full truth only half which is we had seen her with someone else. I don’t think I had ever seen a guy look so shocked, upset and helpless you could tell Liam really liked her and I think realisation had just hit him…like a truck.
He was slowly coming around though but it has been a bit awkward for us all because Louise knew Nessa before and she hadn’t heard from her either, you could see how much it was affecting her as well.
“Babe I’m panicking already, tell me!” Eloise had her anniversary thing with Niall after the show and to be honest the excitement for that was keeping me going through tonight. I laughed remembering earlier all us girls had to suffer with drowning in clothes that Eloise had thrown out of her wardrobe after trying it on.
Even though Louise was gagging and you could only see one hand she still insisted on trying more on but after 3 hours she found it, a small flowing summer dress that was quite formal as well matching with a pair of medium height black heals.
“Chill I’m sworn to silence, if I blabbed I would be torn apart by seagulls.” She raised her eye brow at me as I nodded.
“Please tell me she is still not worrying about tonight.” Louise rolled her eyes sitting in the seat next to us as I nodded.
“Guys look I got food!” Malaikah announced jumping into her seat holding a big bag of food getting stuck in straight away. Thank god someone is sensible.
We sat there chewing the different treats waiting for it to start, people chatted amongst themselves. The intro music suddenly started with a clip of the opening credits playing on the screen on the front of the stage people beginning to cheer.
The night had begun.
I was roaring with laughter as Sam got pelted with balls and teddies as he sung on a stage. His face made my day when he saw a huge teddy heading his way; it was made of pure horror. I got some odd looks from my cackling but I couldn’t care less right now.
At least the twins were smart and attempted to dodge the falling objects while the bloody sprout just stood there which was good to my amusement and maybe his head as it knocked some sense into him.
The trial just seemed to involve more suffering and I swear I saw the boys throwing more stuff in when the cameras where off them. “AND TIMES UP!” Niall shouted down the microphone as everyone cheered and the now spinning stage stopped.
“Alright guys who do you think sang best there Sam or the lovely twins the numbers are on your screen now!” Liam informed the viewers.
“This is your last chance guys so get your votes in now!” Zayn winked at the screen, god please do tell me he is imagining the people behind the camera and he is not flirting with the technology again.
Or maybe he saw his reflection again…
“GET YOUR PHONES NOW!” Louis cheered picking up one of the big balls and throwing it at the camera before they all ran off exiting with the credits coming up after them looking like naughty school kids.
“It’s time!” Eloise whispered but grinned.
“GO GO GO!” Louise shouted pushing her towards a dressing room we had found earlier. Malaikah wished us good luck before leaving, she was going to take Rosie off my mum’s hands for me so I could see everyone a bit longer before heading home again.
“Right quick get the damn dress on and everything!” I was madness clothes were flying, make-up was being slapped on. The familiar sound of tapping against the wood echoed around the room.
“I got this.” I whispered slipping out a slight crack of a door to see Louis joining a nervous Niall who stood in a suit with a black tie to match.
“She just needs a few moments!” I grinned at Niall giving him a hug and whispering him good luck in his ear. Louis and I knew the most about Niall’s plans for tonight since Niall had asked us both for advice but I don’t think Louis knew what the present was.
I pulled out of the hug as Niall mouthed a ‘Thank You’ he looked so smart dressed in a new black tux with his hair freshly styled. It was amazing how quick a styling team could prepare a boy when he needed it.
“She’s ready!” Louise shouted from the other side of the door in a deep tone. I smiled and held my hands over Niall’s eyes covering his vision. I could hear Louis gasp behind me as Eloise stepped through the door and I could feel Niall already smiling knowing already what he was about to see.
I pulled my hands away and Niall’s smile instantly grew “You look stunning.” He gushed making me awe.
“Oh this I just threw it on.” Louise and I made the ‘pfft’ noise shaking our heads behind them.
“Have a brilliant night!” I shouted after them as they disappeared down the corridor I knew it would be a night neither of them would forget for their whole lives.
“Hey.” I felt Harry whisper into my ear wrapping his arms around me pulling me backwards into the dressing room we had taken Eloise from while the Louis walked off with Louise hand in hand.
“You kidnapping me Styles.” I laughed as he shut the door.
“Yes! We haven’t had time to just talk in ages and you have some explaining to do about Liam and Nessa and so much more. I mean god girl you need to fill me in on the gossip!” He put on a camp voice doing twirling his hair with his finger as he pulled me onto a large comfy chair kissing my cheek.
I swear he is gay.
“Okay well we saw Nessa kissing another guy…” I didn’t hide really anything from Harry ever since our trust issue thing, the only thing I kelt a secret was Niall’s plans for tonight.
“Yeah I know that, but who was it? I know you know.” He smiled smugly at the fact he could read me like a book.
“It was Sam.” I whispered and Harry gasped turning me to search my face for any signs of lying.
“Sam?! As in from the show Sam who has been meeting up with Eloise a bit?!” He sounded like a shocked little school girl wanting to know the desperate new gossip.
“Yeah he tried it with Eloise but she told him where to go I mean you know what she is like.” Harry agreed his eyes showing deep thought. “He’s a creep Harry and I don’t want Nessa with him I really don’t, he’s not right, the only conversations I’ve had with him have been well a bit uncomfortable…” I gulped at the memories or his breath against my cheek, his strong words and his mischievous grin.
“What did he say?”
“He told…” my phone suddenly started beeped once indication of a recent text interrupting my conversation. I decided to ignore it till another followed nearly straight away, I sighed pulling the phone out. I had really wanted to tell Harry fully about Sam now he was confusing me too much for me not to.
“Who is it?” Harry asked peering over my shoulder at screen flashing two new messages from the last person I expected to text me now; Nessa. I faced Harry confused before opening the flashing messages.
-Em, we need to talk, I’m round at the house, I need your help I don’t know what to do about liam
Was what the first message read and then to confuse me more..
-n come alone, i don’t want the boys or girls to know.
Well that was a bit late about the girls knowing because Malaikah had headed to the house with Rosie and was already there.
“I guess I’ll have to go.” I sighed getting up and grabbing my bag from where I had left it earlier.
“No not on your own it’s late and I’ve heard my share of stories.” Harry stood up showing his obvious height. I was tall just not as tall.
“Harry I’m fine I’ll get one of the cars and text you when I’m there, yeah?” I smiled at him and he had no choice but to agree even though I knew full well he would make the driver be with me right till I went into the house.
I threw my bag on the back seat hearing my name being called. “Em, where you going?” It was Zayn and Liam.
“Urm just going to head back a bit earlier I’ll see you at the house. Keep Harry busy for me!” I smiled and Zayn put his thumb up in reply. I couldn’t tell them the real reason why, I mean god knows what Liam would do if he knew where Nessa was.
“Right till you see her go through the door you hear?” Was the last of the conversation I heard Harry having with the driver. God help Rosie her father is going to be over protective I can see it now and god help any boy who even looks at her.
I laughed climbing in the back of the car shutting the door behind me and then rolling the window down. “I’ll see you at the house later?”
“Yeah okay, don’t you dare eat all the food again or Niall will go mental. Last time I thought he would have a break down.” Harry laughed crouching down to the window.
“Yeah whatever I’ll see you soon you melon.”
“Melon?! You’re calling your own boyfriend a melon well fine you’re a apple!” I laughed at his comeback. “Be careful as well Emma please you know I worry.” He smiled at me as I kissed him good bye, short and simple.
“I always am.”
The engine started and I rolled up the window waving good bye out the back to Harry ready for a long conversation with Nessa about how she is ruining her life forever with that it some call a boy.
Yes my hatred as grown so big, I’m referring to him as IT.
The car journey was short due to how late it was and Harry will be happy to know the bloody driver walked me right up to the door and hey look I didn’t get damn raped in raping weather again.
I thanked him opening the door into the house, walking down the long series of corridors noticing the lights down the end corridor lit up but no voices. “Hello Nessa, Malaikah?” I shouted taking my jacket off followed by my bag walking down the corridor with still no reply.
I walked into the middle room which was lit up and saw Nessa stood facing away from me. “Ah there you are you’ve got some serious explaining to do missy.” I stood stern hands on my hips. I noticed how she was stood, shoulder hunched over as she examined a picture on the fire place of Liam laughing surrounded by others. Her thumb stroking his face printed on the picture, her shoulders jerked slightly as her sobs became louder. “Hey oh no don’t cry listen I’m mad at you but we can sort this.” I stepped forward as she shook her head.
“I’m so sorry Emma I had no idea this would happen, it’s a trap.” She turned to face me her cheeks red and blotchy from crying.
I stood confused and looked around for Rosie and Malaikah who could not be seen. “Looking for this little one?” I shot around, stood in the door way was the worst thing I could have ever seen. Sam holding in his strong arms the limp body of a sleeping Rosie; he was holding my little girl.
I stared in complete shock. “What the fuck are you doing get off her!?” I stepped forward.
I could feel my breath increasing as I continued to stare. I noticed Malaikah sat in a corner with a huge bruise just below her eye which was forming quicker. “She’s very beautiful Emma I must say, now I think it’s time we had a little chat don’t you think.” I stuttered shocked and scared, his voice was ten times deeper than normal and ten times scarier. I knew he would want answers so agreed.
“I’ll talk but get off her and don’t you dare hurt a hair on her head!” I argued watching his steps as we walked towards the table where he already had a set up of a laptop, papers and a large bear next to it.
“I will do no harm to her if you do what I say, I mean god it would be a real shame at what age is she four, she fell asleep one time only to never wake up.” I gasped I could feel the tears building up, my body shaking and my heart pounding and screaming. I couldn’t have been more right, he was a creep and he wasn’t right at all. I stood silent keeping my eyes on Rosie; I would do anything for that girl. “You get over there next to her and shut your crying up!” Sam instructed pointing to Nessa directing her towards a sobbing Malaikah who was holding her knees crying into the jeans.
“What do you want?”
“An interview, you see Emma I’m a reporter you were right when you said that when you first met me, I find out the biggest dirt of people in secret, I knew you had a lot hiding when you came back and now I see you have the dirtiest secret on the planet and I’ve got it in my arms.” I shuddered angry.
“You’re sick.” I pointed out.
“Not sick just curious I guess, now listen you will answer every question or this will be the last time you see her you hear.” I nodded noticing how hard of hit Malaikah had taken and I would not let Rosie suffer.
“Now let’s start at the beginning, how did that curly freak get you pregnant?” I felt sick completely sick as I shook my head in disgust. He chuckled stroking the top of her head with his long fingers.
“Don’t touch her head.” I snapped loudly. “Get your freaking dirty mitts of her now!” I hovered over him fists clenched at my sides, I was not allowing him to do this, to hurt my friends, to hurt the ones I love and to even touch my little girl.
“Sit down now girl or my grip will get suddenly tighter on her.” I pulled the chair out violently sitting shaking the table as I did causing the bear’s contents to spill all over the table and trickle down to the floor. Who would be so horrible to say something like that?
“Now tell me what happened when you found out you were pregnant.” I felt the need to surrender come on as I heard Nessa whimper, I had to do this.
“I told Harry.” Was all I replied with taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm my shaking body.
“Hey Lou ring me when you get back, I can’t get hold of Em and I’m worrying a bit.” Harry chased after us just before we climbed into the car.
“She’ll be fine mate but will do.” I tabbed him on the shoulder before climbing in after Louise whose eyes were already falling to sleep slightly. I rested her on my shoulder where she slept the whole car journey waking up just as we pulled up to the house. We were heading back first and then the car was going back to collect the others.
I noticed the curtains all tightly shut but the lights seeping through a few of the rooms showing Emma and Malaikah were still up.
“Hey c’mon it’s cold let’s get you inside.” I wrapped my jacket around Louise stepping into the large building, it was huge this house and was always like a huge hotel we owned and could do whatever we wanted in.
It was instantly warmer inside the house. “God it’s warm in here.” Louise said taking the jacket off but holding it, I knew she liked it when she got my jackets; it was always a fight to get them back. I headed up the long hallway where I could hear voices slightly getting louder from somewhere.
“You know what I will answer no more questions till you get off her, I mean it Sam you’re a freak you need my answers more than anything so give her to me and then I will answer them questions!” I had answered enough now, too much and was sick of his stupid grin staring at me as he typed my answers up with one hand and used the over the stroke Rosie’s head, with each stroke adding to my anger and fear I felt like I was about to explode.
“You know Emma this is all your fault, if you had just not been so awkward when we first met I would never have gone after Eloise or Nessa I would never have had to shut Malaikah up with a little slap and I wouldn’t be holding the little girl right now. How do you think Harry would feel if he found out you were the reason his little girl was in danger or in my hands right now?” I couldn’t breathe he was right it was my entire fault.
“Don’t listen to him Emma! None of this is your fault!” Nessa shouted.
“Shut up you idiot!” Sam shouted throwing the empty bear glass across the room stopping Nessa’s words instantly. “Imagine Emma if Harry found her, his little girl who he has missed for so many years, completely stone cold dead, all because of his girlfriend. How does that make you feel?” I felt a tear trickle down my cheek as my lip quivered. I hadn’t fully believed he would hurt her till now.
My mouth opened but no words came out just a sob, my heart was ripping inside me watching Rosie carelessly sleep her little eyelids fluttering showing her eyes searching behind in her dream word, a place of happiness and place away from all this.
I saw him grinning as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a single cigarette placing it in the gap of his mouth, smoking near her made me feel worse, I couldn’t stand the smell of a cigarette it made me feel physically sick but what he pulled out next made my heart stop; a box of matches.
My eyes opened wide as he slide the tray out revealing all the wooden sticks. “I could never keep a lighter, this way was always easier.” I watched as he pulled a single stick out.
“Please don’t!” I reacted begging holding out one shaking hand out as he ran the stick along the side of the box creating a flame him chuckling at my state as he took the flame towards the end of his cigarette.
“Sit down and answer the questions.” He said letting out a cloud of smoke as he blew the flame out, my held breath escaping as soon as he did.
I pulled the chair out nervously and sat waiting for the questions. The sides of his mouth twitched up again as his mouthed the words ‘good girl’. I couldn’t take it anymore I needed to react, I had no idea what would happen after and right now I needed to do everything in my power to try stopping him.
“Why do this?” I whispered closing my eyes for a long time hoping I was dreaming.
“Because Emma you’re bitch, one stupid direction need to grow up and you don’t deserve the right to hide Rosie not to mention have her. Do you even love her or are you using her to get Harry? You’re an awful mother.” He was using what he knew would hurt me most, I snapped standing up and throwing the chair back.
“Don’t you dare say that!” I noticed him jump slightly dropping his cigarette and nearly Rosie.
“SIT DOWN!” He shouted back, he looked the nervous one now; I would not accept anyone saying to me that they thought I never loved Rosie.
“No you sit down and give me my freaking daughter now!” He went to shout back when a sudden scream from Nessa alerted our attention.
“FIRE FIRE! Oh my god the cigarette caught fire to the bear!” Malaikah and she jumped up pointing towards the growing flames attacking the table.
Sam’s eyes opened shocked as he backed up slightly, this was my chance my only chance, his attention was diverted. I threw a fist forward colliding with the side of his face causing him to shout in pain as I heard a crack. His hands flew to his nose and cheek causing him to let go of Rosie’s body making her wake.
“Mummy? What’s going on Mummy?” Her little voice crocked out as I caught her in my arms.
“Mummy is here sweet heart; Mummy will always be here for you.” I held her to my chest hiding her from the smoke filling the room and hot flames which were getting closer and closer the heat building up all around.
“Emma quick get out of here! Come on!” Malaikah shouted as her and Nessa ran to the door. I gave Rosie a quick kiss on the head.
“Keep close to me baby girl.” I whispered beginning to run. I nearly reached them both when I felt a sudden grab on my leg causing me to trip and nearly drop Rosie as I collided with floor on my side.
I turned to see Sam holding onto my leg pulling me. “This is your fault, you’re not going anywhere.” I heard screams all around me but what I most heard was Rosie’s cough increasing and notice a small speck of blood escape her mouth. I shook my leg furiously as Nessa and Malaikah screamed at me. The curtains were catching fire now.
But no matter how hard I tried I knew he would not let go, I had caused enough damage and now I had to do what I had to do. I kissed her head one last time “I can’t get free, quick take her, and get her the hell out of here!” I held Rosie’s small body out in my arms to Nessa who took the small body from me.
“Come on Emma take my hand we need to get you out of here!” Malaikah shouted tears streaming down her face showing a reflection of the near fire of the sides of her face, it was getting closer.
“She isn’t going anywhere!” Sam shouted pulling me more.
“Run please get her to her Dad, get her out of here, for me, if you’ve ever been my friend you would get her out of here, get her to Harry please I beg of you! Save my daughter at least!” I shouted seeing Rosie’s eyes roll back slightly and Nessa’s breath becoming weaker they needed out now.
I saw panic in both their eyes they knew they had to leave. “We’ll be back for you, don’t worry Emma it’s going to be okay.” Malaikah shouted pushing out as the fire exploded more causing something to smash. I felt Sam pull at my waist now pulling me closer as I screamed and kicked. The last sight I saw of Rosie was of her hanging onto Nessa’s shoulder tightly opening her eyes for a few seconds her small hand reaching out to me one last time before she was gone.
“I love you baby Rosie.” I said as loud as I could as I felt a burning sensation on my arm. That was it, I knew it, the last time I would ever see her deep blue eyes.
“Where is that shouting coming from?” I asked following Louis keeping close to him as he headed down the corridor, the shouting increasing the further we walked. Suddenly screams echoed throughout the house making me stop. “What the fuck was that?!” I shouted terrified grabbing onto Louis arm.
“I think something has happened!” The screaming and shouting continued the voices becoming more recognisable. “Stay behind me Louise!” Louis instructed opening the door into the second corridor only to be nearly knocked down by a running Malaikah and Nessa holding Rosie in hysterics.
“Oh my god get out now there’s a fire!” Nessa shouted pointing back to the flames reflections coming from the middle room.
Nessa was coughing like crazy as she clung onto Rosie who I could see had blood on the side of her mouth spluttering up more becoming more hysterical shouting for her mummy trying desperately to get back. “How did this happen, where the hell is Emma?!” Louis shouted pushing us back as crashes echoed from the room.
“Sam, he set fire to it all he’s got Emma trapped!” Malaikah explained. It was getting worse I could now see the flames now catching and climbing there way against any thing they could grab onto.
“Fuck, get the hell out now all of you! Louise ring 911 and get the guys over here! Now get out quick it’s getting bigger!” Louis shouted pushing us down the corridor but staying himself.
“Louis come on you idiot!” I pulled his arm but he wouldn’t shove, my eyes widened he wasn’t seriously thinking of going back in there on his own. “NO! Louis come on now!”
“I need to get Emma out, just go please, I’ll be fine go!” He shouted angry.
“Louis no please it’s too dangerous.” I was panicking.
“Please Louise the quicker you get out the quicker I can get Emma, just go quick!” I blinked the worrying tears away trying to push all worry knowing he would stubbornly go anyway. He pushed me a bit harder and I agreed running after the girls getting my phone out.
I turned around once more “Wait Lou I lov…” It was too late he was gone. A tear fell down my cheek, please god don’t let that be the last time I see him or that have been my last chance to tell him that. I ran down the stairs quickly pulling my phone to my ear ringing 911 hurriedly shouting down the information for the fire department in a panicking tone as they reassured me they would be there soon.
Running through the huge doors out into the open, the safety, I saw Nessa lying on the ground with Malaikah as they tried desperately to keep Rosie in the recovery position as she squirmed and cried for her Mummy desperately. She was breaking my heart, her little screams and cries giving all her effort into calling for her mum even though you could see she was struggling. I got my contacts up coughing and running towards them dialling the next number; Harry.
My body was shaking so much I struggled to hold the phone to my ear. I looked up to the windows where the flames were visible through the gaps growing more smashing some.
“Hello, Louise?” Harry asked question in his voice, I never even heard it ringing. My mouth froze struggling to get the words out people panicking all around me. “Louise what’s all that noise what’s going on?” I took a deep shaky breath and began to explain hurriedly trying to hold myself together at the same time.
“…hurry for the love of god Harry get here now!” Louise shouted down the phone. My heart was racing as I pulled the phone away from me ear. I couldn’t think straight at what I had just been told, my breath becoming quicker as everything seemed to instantly become slower, realisation the only thing where speed increased.
“Harry, what’s wrong?!” Liam asked worried as he stared at my expression, Zayn doing the exact same at the opposite side of the car.
“Fi..re.” Was all I could get out at first, then it hit me like a truck I needed to get there, now. “Driver hurry up this is an emergency and I swear to god if you don’t get there in a minute you’ll never drive again!” I shouted to the front of the travelling car causing the driver to instantly speed up.
“Fire what do you mean fire?!” Zayn shouted shoving my shoulder.
“The house is on fire, Emma is..trapped and oh god please don’t tell me Rosie is hurt.” My palms were sweaty and my head pounded, images passing through of Emma in the fire. Horrible images and screams coming from all directions in my imagination.
“Shit!” I heard Liam and Zayn repeatedly swear firing questions at me that I just couldn’t answer. I couldn’t lose her the thought of ever losing her again broke me and to lose her this way forever destroyed me.
The car pulled up at the bottom of the drive, none of us waiting for it to fully stop jumping out and running as quick as we could. The closer we got the more visible the flames became obviously growing as the crowd below stared shocked, some crying and screaming.
I noticed four people lay on the floor, my whole body went numb as I stared at the figures, three the size of a normal young adult half knelt around a smaller girl. My speed increased praying it would not be my baby girl.
I got closer and closer. “ROSIE!” I screamed tears freely falling down my cheeks repeating the word ‘no’ over and over again getting louder and louder as I got closer. Not my little angel not my little girl. I pushed anyone aside with great force scooping her small body in my arms my tears dripping down onto her face mixing with hers. “Please god no, not you, not my baby girl.” I whispered holding her close to my chest. I could hear shouting and voices around me as Liam and Zayn reached us.
“Harry the ambulance and fire department are on their way it’s going to be okay.” Louise coughed, sounding like she was trying to convince herself at the same time.
“Daddy my throat hurting.” Rosie mumbled clutching to my tight t-shirt her little fingers getting lost in the fabric.
“It’s going to be okay you stay with me beautiful you hear, you stay with me, look into Daddy’s eyes, I’m here.” I tightened my grip rocking her and kissing her head. Her small tears fell as she nodded but I could see her eyes rolling.
“Daddy, where is Mummy?” Her voice was worried and quiet nearly unable to be heard, her eyes showing the same emotions as her voice. Emma, she was still inside. My head shot up searching frantically around, she wasn’t to be seen. I looked up to the burning building the flames could be seen from two floors now, windows smashing sending glass flying.
“No, no, she can’t still be in there no, not Emma!”
“Don’t worry Louis is in there he has gone after her.” My best mate was in there as well. Everythign was getting worse, Louis was the closest to me, he was like a brother, all the boys are I couldn’t have them suffering as well. Louise looked at me shaking biting her nails staring up at the building whispering to herself.
“GET BACK EVERYONE GET BACK!” A man shouted ushering us all back as the pressure obviously built.
I frantically picked up Rosie tripping as I tried to get out of the way just in time before something blew at the top of the building sending building blocks flying. I heard a scream inside, a girl’s screaming, Emma was in there, my Emma; I needed to get her out now. “Take her; quick look after her get her away from here!” I passed Rosie to Louise who was crying her eyes out. She stopped confused as I took my jacket off quickly but she soon caught on.
“NO! It’s too dangerous no!” She caught the attention of everyone else. “Louis is already in there searching for her, you’re not joining them both!”
“Move out of my way that’s my girlfriend in there!” I shouted pushing her aside and trying to pull Rosie’s hand off my t shirt. “Don’t worry Rosie sweet, I’m just going to get Mummy.” I said in the smallest voice I could it breaking every bit of my inside as she desperately hung on crying repeating my name and pleading for me not to leave.
“Harry you’re not going in there, Louise is right it’s far too dangerous!” Liam grabbed my shoulder holding me as I tried to pull him off.
“Get off me you idiots! That’s my girlfriend in there possibly dying, I can’t just sit here!” Zayn held onto the other shoulder now trying to calm me down desperately.
“Harry look just stop for five seconds and think, if you go in there and something happens, you’ll never see Rosie again and if something happens to both you and Emma and you don’t make it she’ll have no parents. Do you seriously want to risk that, your little daughter living without her Mummy or Daddy? Do you really think it would be a good life her to never be able to call someone that anymore and to grow up forever without fully remembering you. She has already had to live most of her life without a Daddy you have to be here now for her Harry! Just stop and think your little girl needs you right now!” Liam shook me straight my watery eyes meeting with Rosie’s as her hands still held tightly to my t-shirt.
I collapsed to the floor my legs and body giving up pulling Rosie tightly to my chest. Liam was right, the thought of Emma in there was destroying me but I just couldn’t leave with the thought of Rosie growing up without anyone, without a mum to help her in life, to give her advice, to take her shopping and make her smile or a dad to protect her, to keep her safe and spoil her.
“I’m sorry but its Emma, I can’t let her die please, I can’t live without her, my heart needs her so much.” I pleaded squeezing my eyes shut praying it was all a horrible nightmare.
I heard a car pull up and familiar shouts join the others. “What the fuck happened?!” It was Eloise and Niall, home to find what resembled hell.
“Right, I’m going!” Zayn said taking his jacket off and holding it over his head. “You can’t but I can!” He said turning and looking at the hot entrance. He was going to risk his life for my girl and his band mate, two of his best friends.
“Me too, I’m not just going to stand here when I can do something! Two of my best friends are in there and that baby needs a mother!” Liam took one step forward Nessa and Malaikah instantly trying to stop them grabbing on to their tops.
Everything was a mad blur around me; I didn’t know what to do. In seconds I saw Liam and Zayn run in coats over their heads an attempt to cover from the flames. I heard a hysterical Nessa explain to Niall and Eloise what had happened, I watched as Malaikah and Louise stared and waited crying feeling the same feelings I was.
I sat clutching Rosie to my chest letting all my limbs go loose, three of my best friends were in there trying to get the only girl I’ve ever loved out, the girl I’d lost once already and had sworn never to let go again. I looked down and saw Rosie’s eyes peering up at me she resembled her mum so much, her button nose, blonde highlights and her heart breaking smile.
“HARRY HARRY!” My ears pricked up and I removed my eyes from Rosie to see Niall knelt in front of my shaking my shoulders; I could see his mouth moving but hear no words. I felt pathetic, sat here just praying, needing my head dizzy from the emotions and my throat dry from the crying.
I looked past Niall to the burning building, my blurred vision struggling to see but then noticed the silhouette of three people emerging from the fire, but only three.
I screamed, the pain of fire burning through the skin on my arm was like no pain I’d ever felt before. I patted it rapidly knocking the flames out but the sensation still remained. “GET OFF ME!” I kicked and threw my arms as Sam pulled me by the shoulders against a wall.
“You started this! You’re not getting out and blaming me, if I burn you burn!” He hissed his fingers digging in deeper in my shoulders causing me to shout louder.
I could feel my body getting tired and the taste of blood in my mouth from all the coughing. From a mixture of the black smoke and my tiredness my eyes could hardly see no more except the eyes of Sam angry staring at me looking like he was getting slowly weaker.
I gave up screaming, every time I opened my mouth more smoke got in, my body felt like it was giving up more and more the only thing keeping me awake was hope and praying to god that Rosie would be okay and with Harry now.
“GET OFF HER!” I sudden shout made my eye lids shoot open followed my body falling and colliding with the floor as the hold on my shoulders was realised.
I heard groans of pain and the sound of punches before I heard a voice again. “Shit, it’s getting worse, Emma can you hear me?!” I opened my eyes gathering all the energy together I had left seeing Louis knelt next to me scooping me up and running.
“Lou.” I whispered clutching onto his neck tightly.
“Stay with me Em, just think of Rosie, think about her seeing you and Harry they’re waiting for you just look at me and keep your eyes open.” I nodded forcing my eyes to stay open watching Louis as he panted running through the corridors stopping now and then and backing away from a flame shooting outwards.
“Thank you Lou.” I whispered coming around a bit more to see he was panicking searching for the possible ways out. He swore repeatedly searching around then looking up.
“FUCK!” I heard him shout him dropping and throwing me in front of him with in a second. I collided with the hot floor turning around to see Louis stood for less than a second before a large bookcase fell over landing on his back directly knocking him down like a domino.
“NO LOUIS!” I screamed climbing to my feet to run over to him. “Louis please can you hear me!” I screamed trying my best efforts to lift the heavy bookcase off his body, but it was no use I only managed to budge it enough for me to see his arm and head sticking out.
“Emma, get out.” He whimpered pushing my leg.
“No, not till you’re out, I will not leave you Louis!” I continued to try; fear and heat making my hands become clumsy and unable to grab the wood properly.
“Emma get out of here now, you need to get to that little girl, that girl needs her mum more than she needs me.” He struggled to talk his head dropping.
“Please Lou don’t do this I need you, you’re my cousin, my best friend.” I felt my knees drop beneath me as I continued to try realising it was making no difference, my sobs getting louder.
“You survived without me for years Emma, you can live without me and you’ve got Harry. Just please get out of here, get to Rosie and everyone please.” He managed to lift one hand and rest it against my cheek stroking it softly for a few seconds as he spoke.
“I’ll be back Louis.” I whispered watching my tears spill onto his hand blinking one more time remembering as much as I could in fear this would be the last time I see him.
“Just go and tell Louise I love her please.” He gave one last smile letting his hand drop nudging me one more time before I began to step backwards.
“I’ll be back Lou I promise, I love you and thank you Lou for everything.” I began to run giving one last look at him as he blew me a lazy dramatic kiss whispering back to me one more time.
“Good bye Emma I love you too.” I ran pushing the tears aside as I did, I didn’t recognise anything at all anymore, all I could see was burning, every where everything was burning.
Sirens sounded around me as fire engines and ambulances arrived. “There are some people coming out!” Someone shouted making me run towards them praying for one of them to be Emma but hoping none of my best mates were in there still. I shouted to the silhouettes smoke moving away as two dragged one out of the flames in the back ground their faces becoming clearer as they did.
I got closer and the faces became clearer, Liam and Zayn carrying Louis who was caked in bruises, scars, burns, nearly passed out and coughing like something was stuck in his throat causing blood to appear. “Oh my god no Louis!” I shouted getting closer to him as men from ambulances surrounded him. Liam and Zayn were coughing and clutching their chests so tight putting Louis on the floor. “Wait where’s Emma, I thought Louis went to get her!” I shouted looking behind them waiting for her to step out of the burning entrance any second now but no one came.
“What she’s not out?!” Zayn shouted shocked trying to regain his normal breathing pattern.
“No where is she, what happened?!”
“She had to go on wit out me.” Louis struggled each word out with great difficulty. I stopped; no this could not be happening no, she can’t still be in there!
“EVERYONE GET BACK THIS THINGS GOING TO BLOW!” A fireman shouted ushering us all as far back as he could.
“NO MY GIRLFRIEND IS IN THERE!” I shouted trying to push past him but it was no use.
“Sir get back or we’re all going to die here!” He shouted. I felt a firm grip on my shoulders as everyone pushed me back as I screamed and cried like a child.
Suddenly the whole top floor blew with a crash that could be heard for miles knocking us all off our feet. “NOOOO!” I screamed falling to the floor as the building parts flew around flames getting bigger. “No not Emma, please tell me this is a nightmare!” Flames grew bigger and hotter; it felt like the heat was just next to me, the whole building set alight. I hit my head against the ground unable to look at it anymore crying more than hysterically my body cradling Rosie as she screamed and cried at the same time. She didn’t get out, she was gone.
“Harry you need to get Rosie to hospital we need to get out of here it’s unstable!” Liam shook me trying to pick me up with the help of a fireman while others tried desperately to put the fire out attempting to get through the burning entrance but failing.
“Please no that’s Emma in there Liam please don’t do this! She’s still in there!” I cried and screamed harder resisting as much as I could. “That’s our Emma!”
“Harry I’m so sorry Harry I really am but no one could survive that!” Liam replied tears repeatedly streaming down his face. I looked around and everyone was crying on the floor around me screaming, it was over she was gone my gorgeous Emma, the girl my heart belonged with forever.
I pulled furiously at my hair hitting my fists against my head at every beep of the machine trying to stop my head from replaying the last 48 hours over and over again reliving the pain I was feeling. I couldn’t do it; I couldn’t live like this forever. I remembered every last second and every single feeling of complete lost.
“We tried our best.” They said after sitting me down as I shook my head tears spilling nonstop, I knew once the officer had said the words what was coming.
“I’m so sorry Mr Styles; there is no way she could have survived that.” I screamed in protest fighting against Zayn as held me down with all his strength. Everything gave up, everything collapsed, I would never see her again, never hold her again, never live my life with her the way I’d wanted to and never fully make it up to her for my mistakes.
“I’m sorry for your lose.” Were the last words I heard before I let my legs give way and collapse beneath me, sobs from everyone around me grew louder mine over powering them all.
“She can’t be gone, I need her, I love her so much.” I spoke, everything shattered.
“She’ll always be with us Harry, just inside here, you’ve got to be strong and you have to fight on.” Liam shook me taking Zayn’s hold on my body as he was unable to control his emotions anymore.
“She burned to death Liam, my little Emma burned to death.” I cried imagining her screams of pain before finally she stopped, her body just stopped and she gave up, dying alone.
Liam winced tears falling as he tightly shut his eyes trying not to imagine it. “She’s safe now Harry, she will never feel pain again anymore and right now you’ve got to do something for her, you have to look after you’re little girl and be her parent now.” My sobs grew louder Rosie would never have a mum, never be able to say ‘I love you mummy’, never be able to go shopping with her mum, ask her mum for advice, grow up having to tell everyone the story of why she no longer has someone to call ‘mummy’ and her last memory of her mum was watching her in a fire as she burned.
“I can’t live without her Liam.” I felt sick at the thoughts of it all matched with the crying.
“You don’t have to Harry; she is here always watching over you, she’ll never leave you or Rosie. Just imagine her stood over you right now rubbing your back telling you to stop being so silly because right now I bet that’s exactly what she is doing.” I gave up and just fell into Liam’s shoulder crying him doing the same into mine. Being heartbroken hurts but at least you know you have the chance of seeing them again, you can say good bye. I never will have that chance, she was gone Emma was gone.
I held Louis lifeless hand in mine. Louis had fallen unconscious just after being removed from the fire with 2 broken ribs, a fractured leg and damage to his lungs from the smoke. He’d also received slight burns on his back from the hot bookcase that had fallen on him but thank fully according to the doctors that bookcase saved him as well, it protected him from falling rubble that would have easily knocked him out and the fire around him.
However I knew Louis too well, he would not see it as his savour he would see it as something that held him back, something that stopped him from getting his little cousin out of there, even though her body was not found it was known that is was impossible to survive that explosion and there was no way out.
I felt tears fall down my cheeks, I could have lost Louis that night and did loose Emma one of my best friends. I had taken the job of breaking the news to Louis when he woke up and was dreading every second. It was going to destroy him.
I was thinking over what I was going to say when I saw his eye lids flickering. “Louis?” I asked hopefully, the only happy feeling I’d felt in about two days. He did a sort of groan in reply and he stirred slightly.
I quickly picked up a glass of water with a straw and brought it to his mouth as he opened his eyes taking long gulps of the clear liquid. “Louise, what’s going on?” He asked turning to look at me I broke down; I just threw my arms around him pulling him close, just being able to hear his voice and to see his eyes again confirmed to me I hadn’t lost him. His was alive. “Hey come here you silly, why are you crying? Everything is okay now.” I felt him push the strands of my hair away from my wet cheeks.
“It’s not Louis you nearly died! You have broken ribs and burns on your back, I nearly lost you.” I cried gripping tightly to his hospital gown.
“Hey I know but I didn’t I’m alive it’s all okay everyone is okay and there you haven’t lost me at all.” He gave me that heart warming smile.
“I love you Louis, I love you so much!” I felt him kiss my head rubbing my back.
“I’m guessing Emma told you what I said?” He laughed still rubbing my back, my heart stopped I had forgotten he had no idea about Emma.
“Typical! I wondered if she would forget.” He laughed before asking that dreaded question. “Where is she anyway, she didn’t get burnt badly before she got out did she?” His smile dropped when he saw my still expression, stuttering and escaping tears. “Louise where is Emma?” He finally spoke quietly after a few awkward seconds of silence.
I shook my head and saw a small tear escape from his left eye while he began to shake his head from side to side as well. “I’m so sorry Lou, I’m so sorry!” I whispered struggling to look at the heart break forming on his face.
“No she got out, I told her to go on without me and she got out!” He couldn’t believe it.
“She never got out Louis, she’s gone.” He still shook his head drips of water falling from his eyes as he tightly shut them trying to stop them.
“NO! This can’t be happening, I told her to go on without me to get to Rosie, to make sure she was okay to make sure you were all okay. No she can’t be gone!” He protested sitting up causing pain the strike in his back, he gave up the struggle and just fell back on to his bed covering his eyes with his hands crying. “She’s my little cousin, my beautiful best friend and I’ll never be able to see her again.” He cried into his hands, I wrapped my arms around him and let him cry into my shoulder. “She had her whole life ahead of her, she has a daughter who will never be able to grow up with her and do the simple things like wish her mummy good night. Emma had everything still to go and now she’s gone, painfully killed.” He continued to just cry on my shoulder, his words hard to hear. “Everyone needs her, everyone needs mum, we need her but she’s gone and It’s all my fault.”
I pulled him off my shoulder in shock at his words and shook his shoulders. “DON’T SAY THAT! You were so brave Louis you tried your hardest to save her, it just wasn’t meant to happen.” He didn’t speak again just sat with the only sound was our sobs filling the room.
“She was mean’t to tell you I love you Louise but she just never got there.” He whispered his fists clenching. A sob I had been holding in my throat escaped and I had to bite my lip to stop from hysterically crying anymore.
I pulled up into the parking space of the hospital turning to Eloise who was staring out beyond to the window. She had done nothing but cry for the past two days ever since she found out about Emma. None of us had really stopped crying but I knew Eloise was going to take this one of the hardest, she had known Emma her whole life and they were the closest friends you could find. Her Lou and Emma it had been for most of their lives and now Lou was in hospital unconscious and Emma was dead.
She didn’t remove her gaze from the window the whole car journey. I went to turn the radio off which had been left on but Eloise’s hand stopped me, only then did I start to listen. “And here is the bbc radio 1 news”.
“El don’t listen to this please it will only make it worse.” She shook her head and let go of my wrist dropping her hand, this was going to be hard the news was filled with the news of Emma and the fire.
I picked up Eloise’s dropped hand and intertwined my fingers with hers; she didn’t resist this time just turned to look at me a shine of water holding over her eyes as the news began. “The shocking news of the fire at boy band One Direction’s house increases as last night it was confirmed that band member Harry Style’s girlfriend Emma Tomlinson did not make it out of the fire and it has been confirmed that anyone left inside was in fact dead.” I felt Eloise’s grip on my hand increase as she squeezed her eyes shut tight tears still managing to spill as the voice from the radio spoke in a monotone sympathetic voice. “It has also been confirmed that the young girl who was pulled out of the fire to be Harry Style’s and Emma Tomlinson’s child that no one knew about. The small child’s name has not been confirmed yet but is rumoured to be Rosie and she is currently unconscious with Harry’s fellow band mate Louis Tomlinson who are believed to make a fine recovery. However the reason for the start of the fire is still unconfirmed but everyone else from the band is fine and no one else has been badly hurt. We would just like to take this time to say sorry for their loss.”
I stopped the radio then, I couldn’t listen to anymore it was so horrible. I turned my watery eyes to Eloise who was shaking in an attempt to hold her emotions back inside but her sobs revealed her struggle. “Come here.” I whispered pulling her close to my chest as she let everything escape. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I don’t know if I can live without her Niall, she said no matter what if she ever left she would come back to me, we had planned to be best friend forever Niall, I’ve known her my whole life, how can everything be okay when I know that is never going to happen and I have to live without her now. I just wish I could have at least said good bye to her.”
We sat in that car for nearly an hour just crying on each other’s shoulders. Life was perfect right till the moment we saw the smoke. “Did you tell anyone about what you were giving me for our anniversary Niall?” Eloise asked taking my mind back to the night; everything had gone so perfect all the planning I had done all with Emma’s help.
“Just one person.” I sighed.
“Who is it? I just don’t want to show it anyone or tell any of them about the date until this has quietened down.”
“Only Emma.” She stopped inhaling a deep shaky breath.
“Of course I should have known you would ask my idiot best friend for advice.” She chuckled but I saw the pain it was causing her. Her eyes revealed it all, the pain, the feeling like giving up, like there is no chance the sun will rise tomorrow, like you would never be happy again because being happy without someone you love seemed impossible. Life right now seemed impossible.
I just stared at her, her fragile chest moving up and down followed by the slow rhythm of the beeping heart monitor beside her. Her eyelids fluttered slightly as she dreamed, completely out of the reality world, probably in the best place she could be was her dream word.
I looked down to my shaky sweaty palms gripping the bed sheets in fists trying to stop my tears at just the sight of her unconscious. I realised the sheets and took her tiny hand in mine, it not gripping back like usual just lying lifeless resting on my palm.
I’d lost one of the most important girls in my life and was now sat waiting for the other to wake up praying she would soon but also dreading the thought of telling a 3 year old girl that she will never see her mum again, never hug her and never be able to just get a kiss from her now and then.
Emma was gone and I regretted so much now. I regretted them years where I didn’t find her, where I could have been enjoying life with her and my daughter but no I let the fame get to my head, I let terror take over me in fear of what others would think and I will always regret that now because I will forever ask myself what if I had stopped her from leaving that day, would she be dead now or would she be living with me somewhere.
Who knows maybe we would have been married because I always knew deep down she was the only one I wanted to marry. I know that sounds stupid since I’m only young but when you find someone that makes you feel like the luckiest person ever, where you just can’t cope the same without them you know that they are the one for you and that’s who Emma was to me.
You’ll never be able to say you know how it feels you’ll never be able to understand fully or sympathize the same unless you’ve felt it, you’ve felt the pain and that was the problem you want someone to have felt the pain so you know you’re not alone but you know it’s impossible for someone to feel the exact same pain as you because no one will ever love that person as much as you could. They really are you’re only one.
Except I’ve lost my one and only girl now and I’m left to cope on my own knowing that I probably never will have the same life again and I never will get that life I had always dreamed of with Emma, Rosie and I.
No, now it was Rosie and I the only two left and I can promise the world now I’m never letting Rosie go because she is the closest thing I have to Emma and she will always be my little girl, the one I will always love no matter what she does.
I noticed Rosie’s eyes start to flicker open my heart stopping as I felt her little hand move in mine. “Rosie?” I asked stepping forward keeping her hand in mine as she wriggled rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with the back of her little hand.
“Daddy?” She spoke quietly but happy, her little face was cheerful as she woke up feeling like it was just a new day for her.
“Daddy’s here Rosie, Daddy is always here.” I replied with half climbing onto the bed and pulling her into my chest her little arms quickly grabbing around holding onto the material of my top.
“Where am I Daddy?” I looked down to see her eyes, hazel eyes. The same eyes as Emma staring right back at me, the closest thing I would get to ever seeing those eyes again. I rubbed away a tear quickly, how was I going to tell her, how could I tell her about her mum.
“You’re in hospital Rosie, there was a little trouble with a fire, do you remember?” She cringed and nodded clutching to my chest tightly.
“That was really scary, I really don’t like fire Daddy.” She was hiding in my chest.
“I know, I really don’t like it either Rosie.” I whispered, she shouldn’t have had to see any of that fire.
I sat rocking her slightly for ages stroking her head, having to repeatedly stare up at the ceiling to stop my tears, she was just like a mini Emma and I loved her just as much. I could feel her breathing relaxing more and more and noticed her eyes fluttering from tiredness.
Even though my body resisted I laid her down pulling her little hand from my top and letting them wrap tightly around mine instead. “I’m tired.” She mumbled Emma always used to do that in a child’s voice that was cute but funny. A little smile appeared on my face at the memories of her saying that.
“Go to sleep then beautiful I’ll be here when you wake up.” I stroked her cheek tears escaping as I did. I didn’t want her to see me cry so I was waiting for her to sleep.
“I can’t Daddy I need Mummy to sing to me, where is Mummy?” I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart, a little girl asking where her mummy is when she is lost is what Rosie looked like right now because she was that little girl wanting her mum, no one can replace your mum when you’re scared.
“Mummy can’t be here right now Rosie, but maybe I could sing to you.” My voice was weak I was fighting off so much pain for her.
“But I need Mummy too.” She looked upset her eyes looking like they could spill tears, I couldn’t tell her yet I just couldn’t. I couldn’t watch her heart break like mine was doing right now.
I thought hard, I needed something, anything. “Hey look I know where you can see Mummy.” I had an idea this was the only place I could ever let her see her now.
“Where?” She smiled at me showing a row of little baby teeth, one missing.
“In your dreams Rosie your mummy will always be in your dreams whenever you need her, she will always be in your head no matter what because your mummy loves you and will always be there for a hug in your dreams no matter where she is. You just got to close your eyes.”
“You promise?” I took her little pinkie finger in mine.
“I promise with all my heart Rosie she will be there sat waiting for you to give you a big kiss and hug.” She smiled a warm smile her eyes shutting more. I took a deep breath the quicker she goes to sleep the quicker she could see her Mum and the only way quicker I could think was to sing. “Isn’t she lovely, isn’t she wonderful, isn’t she precious…” I sang tears falling as I saw her eyes shut, my voice quiet.
“You and mummy sing the same song.” She whispered one last time as I continued to sing. I closed my eyes tightly holding in shaky breaths my eyes lids turning into barriers against the water, Emma had sang this song to Rosie this whole time and I never knew, it was the song I’d sang for X Factor the song I told her ages ago I wanted to sing to my baby girl when I was older.
“..less than one minute old….” memories passed through my mind. “…and I never thought through love we’d be…” images of Emma “….making one as lovely as she…” smiling and enjoying life “….isn’t she lovely made from love.” Before she died that was the Emma I wanted to remember gave a nothing but love, the happy Emma.
I opened my tightly shut eyes to see she had fallen asleep smiling now, she could finally see her mum. “I love you Rosie, I love you so much tell your mummy I say hello.” I whispered kissing her head crying none stop into the pillow next to her.
I was never letting this girl go, ever, I would do anything for her.
Nothing was really the same anymore, at all. It had been a week since the fire and everyone was now out of hospital but that doesn’t been they are well. It had been so hard for everyone.
The flat we had rented out while we searched for a new house seemed empty this morning, completely silent yet everyone was there. I gave Malaikah a last kiss on the head before removing my arm from around her and rest her back on the pillows she was sleeping on; she really needed a sleep in since she had hardly slept since the fire because of nightmares. She had joined us and the others in the flat now because she was struggling alone and her family and us thought it would make it easier…but it’s hardly made any difference.
I walked out in to the living room. The flat was huge but not as big as our old house nowhere near but it was still massive. “Morning.” Liam mumbled rubbing his head taking two paracetamol, I noticed he hadn’t slept much last night again from the large bags under his eyes and the way he rubbed his head showing a obvious headache.
“Morning mate, no sleep again?” He nodded in reply. “Me either.” I felt for Liam we all had someone through this for Louis, Niall and me it was our girlfriends and for Harry it was Rosie but for Liam he had no one, no Nessa.
Just after the fire Nessa was with Liam they were helping each other but then a few days later she was gone saying she did not deserve us and that the fire was all her fault, it wasn’t though, none of this was anyone’s fault but Sam’s.
Ever since she had left Liam struggled more you could just tell by the way he looked always distant looking at his phone or into the space in front of him. It needed to be sorted he didn’t need any more pain. I opened my mouth to speak when Niall walked in.
“Morning.” He mumbled he had quite puffy eyes showing crying from earlier that morning matched with lines and black underneath to show lack of sleep. He sat head resting on the palms of his hands on the breakfast bench. He was struggling too, a lot. Eloise as you can guess was finding it really hard she never spoke and just wanted to lock herself up in her room the whole time, which mean’s Niall was up there as well comforting her but you could see he struggled he hated seeing her upset and the fact he could do nothing to help frustrated him more.
Liam looked at me his eyes showing the same thoughts and sympathy for Niall. “Niall mate it’s going to be okay.” Liam told him joining him at the breakfast bench.
“It’s not though Liam nothing I can say helps anymore, we’re drifting apart and I just can’t lose her right now I’ve already lost one of my best mates!” He kept his head down hiding but his jerking shoulders showed he was crying.
“Mate it’s going to be okay how about we ask Louis to talk to her he’s in the same boat with how long they knew her and he knows El very well.” I suggested Niall sitting up to face us wiping the tears sat on his cheeks away.
“I guess I could try that where is he?” Niall went to stand up to go look for Louis when he walked in.
“Good morning!” He said strolling in acting completely normal, oh god not now Louis. “Great sunny morning isn’t it how about we all go for a lovely walk get some fresh air it’s all so dull in here.” He put the kettle on prancing around as he did. This was Louis this was his way of hiding his pain, to act like nothing has happened, to forget and put on the fake cheery act right until he snaps. He did it last time when Emma left for months.
“Louis, don’t do this now.” I mumbled it caused arguments last time, a lot of them.
“What’s with long face? Turn that frown upside down Niall!” He pulled the side of Niall’s cheeks up to make a smile, crap this is going to end bad Niall was looking madder by the second.
“Niall don’t, it’s just his way.” Liam whispered trying to calm Niall down. Louis was walking around with a fake smile but you could see by his eyes the lack of sleep, the strained look and every time he turned away the smile was lost just when he thought no one was looking.
“NO I WON’T STOP!” Niall stood up stepping towards Louis making him back into a wall. “What the hell is your problem Lou why do you insist on this stupid acting like nothing has happened act!” Niall shouted fists clenched.
“What act everything is fine?” Louis stuttered trying to stand his ground and keep his smile.
“Louis, do not make me say something I could regret!” Niall spoke through gritted teeth.
“There is nothing to say Niall.” I had never seen Louis so vulnerable.
“Niall don’t leave it!” Liam and I tried to prise him away before it got ugly with great struggle.
“Nothing to say seriously?” He did a fake laugh breaking our grip from his shoulders. “Well let me tell you what is wrong she has gone Louis, gone now for God’s sake get a grip and sort yourself out she is dead!” Niall shouted, that was it Louis broke, it was like watching every part of his body shatter at once his tears falling silently and his lips begin the quiver along with everything else.
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” A sudden roar attracted our attention; we turned around to see Harry stood in the door way looking furious and knackered. “That’s enough from both of you! You’re just making it worse!”
“Har..” They both said at the same time before getting interrupted.
“I don’t want to hear it guys! Arguing won’t change anything it just makes it hurt more, she’s gone I’ll never see her again, you’ll never see her again, her mum and dad at home will never see her again and most important her daughter will never see her again and that’s not right but that’s life.” I could see him fighting the tears again.
“Daddy?” a small voice shouted from one of the bed rooms.
“Don’t worry Rosie I’m coming now!” He called back into the room rubbing his head as he did before turning back to us. “I just told her last night.” He paused for a second before speaking again. “I’ve never seen a girl so crushed and right now you guys are not helping she is devastated so we’re going to go away for a few days.” He didn’t look at us once.
“What no Harry we need to be together, we promise we won’t fight again!” Niall panicked.
“Yeah I agree I’m sorry Harry don’t go please don’t go!” Louis added.
“I’m sorry guys we’ll be back in a few days.”
“Daddy! I thought you’d gone!” Rosie shouted running in grabbing hold of Harry’s leg hiding her head in his trousers.
“I’m not going anywhere baby I promised remembers.” He picked her up holding her on his shoulder.
“That’s what mummy said though.” She clung tightly to him and Harry took a deep breath.
“It wasn’t up to mummy Rosie and remembers what I told you, do you remember Rosie?” He kissed her head.
“And what did I say?”
“That if I ever need mummy just to close my eyes and dream and she will always be there.” I felt a slick tear fall from my eye.
“Good girl Rosie now listen we’re going somewhere just us for a few days, somewhere with lots of ice cream with just us two does that sound nice?” I saw her head nod into Harry’s shoulder.
Harry blew his cheeks out in a huge breath giving us a shaky wave as he turned around. I looked over to the others who had tears in their eyes Louis the worse out of us all. “Harry please don’t go, please!” Louis chased after him right to the door where Harry’s suitcase was.
“I’ll be back in a day or two Lou just get some rest and stuff it’s for the best.” Harry was gone before any of us could say another word Louis just letting everything out at once then smacking his hand down against a table after a few moments silence followed by sliding down the shut door onto the floor in hysterics.
“I’m so sorry Lou.” Niall stepped forward first.
“I just can’t do it Niall, I can’t accept the fact she has gone and that poor girl is left without her, how is that fair?!”
“It’s not.” I mumbled kneeling down next to Louis patting him on the back, none of this was fair.
Rosie was falling to sleep a lot mostly because she wanted to see her mum so she would either be trying to or was sleeping which to be honest was probably doing her a lot of good because none of the rest of us could sleep.
I walked down the street towards where my car was parked with Rosie on my shoulder putting the suitcase into the boot quickly and putting Rosie in her car seat in the back where she continued to sleep. I stopped for a minute and noticed a small smile on her face as she slept; it gave me hope and a reason to smile myself.
I then remembered last night.
I blocked the memories and climbed into the front of the car beginning to drive but the thoughts kept coming up.
Last night when telling Rosie had been hard, really hard, she had been none stop asking to see her mummy so I thought it was time she knew. After sitting her down with a bit of harbio and chocolate and pulled her into a cuddle and told her. I told her how mummy had gone now, she had gone to heaven. It’s when she asked why and if it was her fault that really hurt me. ‘If your mummy could have picked she would live forever with you Rosie but she didn’t get the choice this time’ is how I replied.
‘I want to mummy now!’ she cried a soft cry the tears finally reaching her eyes.
‘Dreams Rosie, remember she is always in your dreams watching over you I promise.’ She had cried for ages while I held her wanting mummy and trying to get to sleep but when you’re crying so much it’s hard, really hard.
That was one of that hardest things I will ever have to do in life and I know that for a fact.
I parked the car somewhere out of sight so we wouldn’t be found, by paparazzi or my friends. The paparazzi had been quite good actually they had given us a lot of respect and not tried to push for interviews too much but if there is chance of a photo of Rosie they will take it now matter what.
Carrying Rosie on my shoulder her still sleeping while grabbing the luggage out of the car I locked it and walked up the small path way leading up to a quiet alone house. Unlocking the door with a key I had been given months ago for emergencies.
Walking through the door I got that instant smell, the mixture of to some homely, a mixture of perfumes, candles and washing up powder; Emma’s smell. Taking a big smell of the air and taking a quick look around me I realised this was going to be harder than I thought but I had to for Rosie.
“Daddy where are we?” Rosie whispered still half asleep.
“We’ve come back to your old home for a few days sweet, shall we go to bed for a bit?” I asked already placing the bags I had brought down and heading in the direction of the stairs. She nodded falling back to sleep more, I followed the corridor right to Rosie’s room stopping just steps before to peak into the room across; Emma’s room, her clothes still thrown carelessly on the floor, some old make-up still on the dresser and her bed left in its usual state unmade, everything was just how she had left it and it was like it was waiting for her to return.
I took a sharp intake of breath before pulling my gaze away and heading into Rosie’s room pulling back the pink duvet and resting her down carefully kissing her head and then climbing in next to her “I promised I wasn’t going anywhere.” I whispered pulling her close to me.
I lay in bed, Niall had left now after thinking I was sleeping or resting. I knew I stressed him out with everything and he struggled but right now I just felt like nothing, I felt alone. Emma and I had this thing we just knew how to make each other happy we could just do whatever life threw at us when we had each other but when we don’t and I don’t now, I have no idea what to do anymore.
There is so much I wanted to still do and I wanted Emma with me the whole way for it. Them excited moments from the simplest things, them crazy childish moments where you just don’t give a care in the world because all you want to do is laugh and them great moments that you just want to have with your best friend when you grow up from telling them about your first kiss to you telling them about your husband, kids and grandkids.
I clutched my duvet tight to me and pulled out the picture frame I had hiding under my pillow, it was Emma, Louis and I on Emma’s 7th birthday. I had some damn crazy black wig on my head and a pinkish dress with a purple feather bow thing around me while showing a toothy grin while Emma had a long blonde wig with small knots in on with a tiara and pink puffy dress holding a fairy wand to match as we stood side by side grins matching. With Louis joining on Emma’s other side wearing some crazy pants pulled ridiculously high and some sort of cape the picture was made.
It was my favourite picture even though Emma hated it and Louis would probably kill me if he found it but to me it was special it just like showed our young friendship and every time made me smile. I heard a sharp knock on the door alerting me someone was coming in making me drop down and shut my eyes as quickly as possible hiding the picture quickly.
“El?” I heard footsteps walk and then the feeling of someone sitting on the bed looking down on me. “You know you’re rubbish at pretending to be asleep.” The voice chuckled; Louis, he pushed my hair back and I opened one blurred eye to see a sad expression on his face as he looked down his eyes really red and puffy from very recent tears that could still be seen glistening in his eyes slightly. I didn’t speak I didn’t have to Louis just looked at me and pulled me into a hug right to his chest. “You don’t have to hold it in El.” He whispered and I just let all my tears out onto him.
“I just don’t know Lou I miss her so much already, I don’t know what to do!” I pulled out of his hug to see I had soaked his shirt and left him with stains of black from old mascara.
“You don’t have to do anything El, listen things like this just happen they can’t be predicted they just do and we have to power through them, I miss her so much already and I know I won’t go a day without missing her but she is with us in here always.” He pointed to my chest smiling at me a genuine smile even though a tear spilt. “As well as Emma there you have me your best buddy, Niall and all the others and we’ll be here with you.” I smiled back at him wiping my tears I was so thankful for my friends.
He looked down and his eyebrows cross funny as he reached out towards the slim frame of the picture I had unsuccessfully tried to hide under my pillow. “Oh urm yeah that.” I blushed as he pulled it out his eyes widening as soon as he looked at it.
“Oh god what is this, how the hell have you got this?” He laughed looking at it and smiling. “Look at our bloody outfits! I think we should never show anyone this!” He laughed running his finger along the frame.
“We were the perfect three weren’t we?” I laughed moving my position to sit next to him.
There was a moment of silence. “We still are, Emma will be with us in our hearts but it will just be us on the outside with the others now and we can do that, yeah?” Even though it was hard I knew he was right Louis was nearly always right.
I nodded and smiled rubbing my final tears away it was going to be okay.
*1 Year Later*
You think after a year it would be easy again, you think everything would have passed by now, we would be back to are normal routine still missing her of course but getting on with life, you think it would have happened by now but it hasn’t it’s just got worse.
I thought it would have been okay I mean everyone seemed to be coming around a bit and then Harry got worse he wanted to spend more and more time away, he would snap at everyone from the press to us, anyone who asked a question about Emma, he would snap.
We all got frustrated with him, the fact he wouldn’t let us help or sometimes even see Rosie just made it worse, especially for the people like Louis who was like Emma’s older brother not letting him see Rosie was hell and because of it if he ever got the chance he and Harry would argue big time.
It’s gotten to the point now that Harry stays away most of the time at Emma’s old house where we found out eventually he had been hiding or separate in his new flat for Rosie and him, we hardly ever saw him now.
One Direction is on a ‘break’ due to the happenings to get sorted and right now I couldn’t see us coming back from our break ever, especially with half of us not talking. The rest of us are still in touch and live in the same bunch of flats as Harry but in separate flats with our girlfriends except Liam who was not with Nessa at all.
Liam saw Nessa a few times eventually after but then one day they just stopped and Liam told us it wasn’t meant to be, yet you could tell he wanted it to be, he wanted to be with her.
Eloise and Niall went away to Ireland for a few months to get away from it all and to be honest I think it helped them a lot, they were struggling before but came back stronger and looked like even though it sounded cheesy but they looked like they were going to be together forever again. They managed to get through anything it seemed.
It’s just will the rest of us be able to?
I caught my reflection in the shop window after another rough night sleep. It was a year ago yesterday since Emma’s death and every single emotion was coming back. I now don’t remember the last time I had a good night sleep, smiled a true smile, or laughed with my friends because to be honest nothing seemed good anymore.
“Daddy can I have an ice cream?” Rosie asked looking up at me from her place on the ground holding my large hand with her small one, she was the only reason I did smile, the only good thing in my life, or well it felt like.
I nodded and walked with her over to the ice cream stand asking for her usual, a simple vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce and flake, bound to get all over her and to become a sticky mess but I couldn’t care every treat I could give her she deserved and got.
I handed the money over and suddenly heard a scream next to me and the feeling of Rosie letting go of my hand. I turned around quickly to see Rosie running towards a tall blonde women shouting, I dropped the ice cream and ran after her to hear what she was actually shouting “MUMMY MUMMY IT’S ME ROSIE! MUMMY!” She shouted reaching the women and grabbing her leg, my heart stopped the resemblance from behind was similar very similar but when she turned around you could tell it wasn’t Emma. “Wait you’re not Mummy!” Rosie let go, the disappointment breaking away the happiness instantly with the tears building up; this had happened a few times before.
I picked her up quickly apologising to the women who looked bewildered “Come on Rosie let’s go home.” I said holding her close heading back Rosie crying on my shoulder, I knew she hoped every day of seeing her Mummy again but every time it was a disappointment yet she always had hope.
Hope that her dreams would come true.
Everything was hard and it always seemed to get harder but somehow we lived through it. I was still shocked that a year had gone by and nothing had changed, in fact it all seemed worse now.
It had been the anniversary of Emma’s death the other day and you could see it was bringing it back up a lot so we were all kind of sticking with someone all the time. Niall, Zayn and I all sat in Louis living room while Louis was in the back room with Louise while Malaikah had taken Eloise out for a bit to take her mind off things.
Harry however, well none of us had seen or spoken to him in a week now and after the biggest argument Louis and Harry had ever had I worried how long it would be before we would be able to see him or Rosie again.
Nessa and I hadn’t spoken in ages, we met a few times finally after ages but it was only brief we had both agreed finally we wanted to be together and to put everything behind us, or that’s what we wanted until I found out she was moving and only wanted to meet to say goodbye.
My heart broke again and I never told anyone truly how I felt. I left her that day angry telling her to stay away from me if she was just going to hurt more and since then I regret every word I said.
I missed her; I missed my old life so much.
Zayn flicked through the TV channels stopping occasionally ‘In other news fans of the worldwide famous boy band One Direction known as directioners are uploading thousands of videos and tweeting thousands of tweets in memory of Harry Style’s girlfriend Emma Tomlinson who was killed a year ago in a fire at the One Direction household, fans have…’ Zayn switched it over before getting up asking if anyone else wanted a cup of tea.
It had become a bit of a regular thing just ignoring the headlines every time they came on which seemed to be all the time “Sure I will.” I replied pulling my phone and logging onto twitter feeling like we needed to tweet some replies to people and say thank you.
‘Thank you to everyone for your support, it’s much appreciated’ I tweeted receiving thousand of replies instantly involving links to various fan videos, photos and sweet tweets brining back a thousand memories all at once. It was true Emma was famous with the fans she was always tweeting them facts and silly things about us, she was like an undercover fan girl to them that provided them with that new picture or cheeky video, or she did.
A light knock on the door attracted our attention. “Niall did you order food again?!” I turned to him and he blushed.
“Maybe, I’ll go see.” He got up quickly heading out of the room towards the corridor closing the door behind him, there was silence for a few moments then a sudden very girly scream closely followed by clattering of some sort.
“Of god has he bloody walked into that flipping coat stand again!?” Zayn muttered watching the kettle heat. I laughed before shouting out to him.
“Everything okay Niall?” I shouted stifling my laugh getting a bit of a stuttered yes in reply. “That boy isn’t right in the head.” I mumbled returning back to my phone scrolling though the tweets they really meant every word each fan sending round pictures of Emma along with pictures of us with her and of Harry and Rosie. The most recent ones from the past days where Harry looked beyond lonely and worn down holding Rosie protectively, he was a great Dad to her, no matter how upset or angry he felt he would never show Rosie that and he would do anything for her I knew that.
I looked closely at his face, he just looked lost now and he looked alone. Why was it so hard, why did this have to happen why couldn’t we just go back to before the show before everything, back to when life was easy?
I felt a tear threatening to fall there being a bit of silence the only noise was the TV in the background and Zayn pouring the tea until the door clicked open and Niall walked in. “Did you by any chance walk into the coat stand again Niall?” I asked not looking up but pulling one of the blankets resting on a chair near me over to cover my rising tears and changing my voice from what it was before.
“Urm yeah…” His voice sounded quiet but I ignored it until I heard the smash of Zayn’s cups colliding with the tiles following by some stuttering attracting my attention as to what had just shocked him to do his clumsy move.
After earlier I decided maybe it was for the best we stayed at home for a while again until this all blew over and then maybe we could try get back to normal again. Rosie seemed to calm down a bit as she sat in front of the TV watching something which involved a cartoon elephant.
I passed her some supper of chocolate and Haribo and returned back into the kitchen, sometimes I hated this flat it was so quiet so lonely but there was a reason I wanted to be there a big reason and I was looking through the window at it right now.
‘The Deep Blue Pond’ the only place that felt a little bit like everything no matter what was okay. A place that made it felt like home which according to google was something you need when getting over the one you love…yes I was resulting to google now since it felt like that was the only person in the world I could or wanted to talk to for help.
I loud repetitive loud knocking on the door attracted my attention. I peeked through the small eye hole to see Louis stood frantically banging on the door. I grunted before shouting “Go away!”
“No Harry this is so urgent you need to come now seriously!” He looked worried and frantic. I sighed before opening the door quickly. “Thank god you need to get Rosie, you need to come quick!” He pushed past me walking straight into the living room. What the hell was going on?
“Whoa Louis what the fuck do you think you’re doing, get out now!” I shouted grabbing his hand before he could go any further.
He looked up at me with an angry deep thinking face before speaking “We need your help now!” looking like he really didn’t want to say them words he went to turn around but I held my grip on his arm.
“Listen I don’t know if you care but everyone is going crazy back there, Liam is going crazy Nessa came back and he’s just snapped! He was shouting at her and tried to chuck her out he’s going mental, I’ve never seen him so upset, Eloise feels like nothing because she lost her best friends from like the age of three, her and Niall are struggling, everyone wants Emma, everyone is struggling Harry, I miss her so much it kills me every time and that is why we need your help you need to come back now!” I stood with a blank expression not giving off any sign of emotion; I was getting good at that. He took a frustrated breath before continuing in a much quieter tone. “If you ever cared about Emma and Rosie you will let me walk in there get Rosie and come with us to my apartment now, we all need you Harry!”
I was still mad at Louis; I seemed to always be mad at him. I guess because he was the last one to see Emma alive made me angry at him but he was right we did need to be together but I didn’t know if I could do it. I stood baffled but nodded making Louis turn around instantly walking over to Rosie who gladly greeted him with a huge hug and smile. You can’t deny she loved her Uncle Louis.
He held her hand walking for the door but my feet couldn’t move, I just didn’t know what to do I didn’t know what was best anymore. “You coming?” Louis asked, it was weird to think just over a year ago I was best friends with Louis, that I was looking forward to my life ahead with my daughter and girlfriend and whatever my future career held with my best friends. It was weird to think how impossible any of that seemed now. Just thinking about it all then I knew then I had to, it was the only way to sort this.
I followed him down the corridor reaching his apartment walking straight inside, it felt like I hadn’t been here in so long yet it had only been a few weeks. Photos still remained in the same places, shoes thrown here and there, coats thrown on chairs, it just all looked the same.
It reminded me of living with the boys just over a year ago.
Something wasn’t right though and it wasn’t shouts or crying coming from the living room from a upset Liam or from a grieving Eloise no while walking down the corridor I heard no expected crying or any frantic actions like Louis’ rushed words had made it sound like, no I just heard muffled voices.
“Louis I thought you said everyone was going crazy?” I asked him but he didn’t reply, he didn’t even look at me he just continued to walk holding onto Rosie’s hand as she walked in between us. “Stop ignoring me! No one is shouting, it’s not crazy, why the hell do you need me!?” I felt angry at him for the pure reason he had lied to me and he was now ignoring me! I hated being kept secrets from. He had told me everyone was breaking down everyone was struggling but from the sounds of it and the looks of Louis now different expression I knew I had been lied to.
“We do need you Harry.” Was all he replied with as we got closer, his speed picking up. I was clenching my hands into fists now attempting to control my anger, why couldn’t he just tell me why did he have to be so complicated!
We were just outside the doorway to the living room now. “You seriously are a twat Louis! Why would you even think of lying to me just tell me the truth! I mean why can’t you just…” I stopped.
Everything stopped, right there and then the whole World felt like it just stopped, froze still.
I had been cut off, cut off by the door opening, cut off by the sudden silence and then the sudden cry of joy from next to me. A cry of the word I had heard a few times but never with such joy.
“MUMMY!” Rosie shouted letting go of Louis hand and running forward.
‘Mummy’ I repeated the word over and over again in my head my heart rate picking up like every time just before I looked up and saw a sight I never thought I would see again, she dropped to her knees opening her arms out pulling Rosie against her with tears falling freely from her brown eyes down her face sobs echoing around the room.
I just stopped everything stopped, I couldn’t believe my eyes, she was there, checking Rosie over crying hysterically in disbelief herself as she looked at Rosie clutching tightly to her chest as they both cried while my jaw dropped in disbelief.
Emma was there right in front of me, my girlfriend the one I thought I had lost forever, who I thought had died was in front of me.
She was there, she was back.
I closed the door behind me and headed to the door hearing my stomach already rumbling with the thought. I hadn’t ordered food but me and the pizza guy had a bit of a deal, if he ever had any spare pizza left over he would drop it round and I would give him signatures and stuff for his little cousin.
I know it’s a bit evil selling my autograph for food but it was the best damn pizza ever and if you saw the prices you’d understand.
I stopped just before walking any further and looked up and the large coat stand that I seemed to walk into every day. WELL NOT TODAY MR COAT STAND.
I walked around it chuckling smugly.
I opened the door speaking before I could even fully open it. “So what pizza have you got le..e..eh…” my voice just stopped, it froze, disappeared, stood in front of me was the police officer who had been in charge of Emma’s case with someone stood behind him.
“Hello Niall long time no see.” I hadn’t seen him for months since we had decided that it was time to except she was gone.
“Officer Keenly what can I help you with?” I asked awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck trying to peer past his shoulder to see who was hiding behind him while wondering while he was here.
“Actually nothing Niall, I’m just dropping someone off for you.” He stepped to a side and the figure came into full view, it was a girl in a large police jumper and scruffy jeans with the hood up while looking down. I felt my eyebrows cross confused until she pulled her hood off.
My jaw dropped letting out a single inhumane stutter.
“Niall!” She grinned.
I screamed my hands instantly covering my mouth in shock making me fall backwards slightly into the freaking coat stand!
“Everything okay Niall?” I heard Liam shout.
“Urm yeah.” I replied not taking my face off her. “What the, how, you were?!” I couldn’t get a sentence out just stutter and try to breath.
“I know but I’m not Niall, it’s me Emma.” I felt dizzy; this can’t be happening she was alive! My senses kicked in as soon as she finished speaking and I just grabbed her pulling her into my chest, I couldn’t believe it she was alive!
I pulled away to see she was crying but she wiped away the wet tears on my face instead of her own. “I’ll be in contact tomorrow Emma, I’ll leave you to see everyone.” Officer Keenly spoke giving and smile before walking off us both thanking him before he was gone.
“I have no idea how or what has happened Emma, but you’re back!” I said pulling her inside and closing the door quickly behind her. She was looking around at everything as if she was a small ant in the big world. She looked lost and scared.
I heard the click of the kettle fully boiling in the kitchen reminding me of the unaware others and also catching Emma’s attention. “Is..who is?” She pointed with a slightly shaky hand which I took in mine.
“Want to come see?” She mid nodded. “It’s okay Emma, in your own time, I don’t know what is going on or what has happened but your back your with us now and I’ll help you and I know as soon as the others see you they will want to too.” I didn’t know what to do just go with what was somehow coming from my mouth. Emma did a more eager nod and smiled following me slowly to the door, here we go.
I looked over to Zayn, he was stood his hand still in the gripped position just before his mouth with his cup smashed by his feet, his jaw was dropped and his eyes wide staring intensely in the direction of the door way.
My eyes followed where he was looking to see Niall with someone stood behind him. I sat up more and my actions copied Zayn’s with my jaw dropping completely, eyes opening wide to match.
“I’m going mad.” Zayn suddenly said shakily, I couldn’t take my eyes of her; she was there in front of me.
“No Zayn you’re not this is real! Guys this is real I swear this is Emma.” Niall assured us pulling her forward.
I stood up from my seat exchanging glances with Zayn before walking towards her, she looked the same just skinner and darker in a way. “Emma?” My voice broke awfully higher than expected when I spoke reaching my hand up towards her cheek to check if she was real and of course I came into contact with her skin.
“Hi Liam.” She replied smiling softly, I couldn’t take it I just wrapped my arms around her pulling her towards me instantly feeling wet tears from her against my t-shirt before pulling her out to arms length to check again.
“Jesus Christ this must be a dream!” I checked again and suddenly felt a grin appear on my face, an actual grin. “Jesus Zayn it’s her, she’s real and alive!” Emma was suddenly pulled from my arms and engulfed in Zayn’s him squeezing her tightly each of us crying but unlike other times it was from happiness.
“How is this possible?” Zayn asked pulling her further into the room.
“It’s urm kind of a long story, but forget this for now, where is every…” She began coughing a heavy chesty cough like a 50 year olds smokers cough, Niall quickly grabbing a glass of water off the counter in the kitchen passing it only for her to down it in seconds. “Sorry about that, what I was saying is where, what, with everyone else?” She looked around and I remembered instantly everyone else, Louis, the girls, Harry, Rosie, everyone.
“Typical of you to think about others before yourself.” Niall joked smiling receiving a bit of a hit on the arm from Emma, she hasn’t changed.
“No seriously!” She moaned coughing a bit again, she looked weak.
I opened my mouth to speak when I heard a door close down the corridor making me smile, Louis was coming. “Well here comes the owner of this flat now.” I smiled and she instantly got up turning to the door dropping the empty glass onto the seat.
The muffled voice got closer to the door and just as we had all turned around the door opened. “I know it’s been…” Louis stopped in his tracks as soon as he looked in; he was frozen on the spot, Louise next to him mimicking the reactions of me and Zayn. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could Emma ran, she ran straight towards him.
“LOUIS!” She shouted throwing her arms around him instantly crying onto him. I could just see Louis his eyes in perfect circles as his arms hung loosely still in shock as what was happening kicked in after a few seconds and his arms wrapped around him quickly. “Thank god, thank god you’re alive!” Emma cried into his shirt.
Did she seriously just say that?! SHE HAS BEEN ‘DEAD’ FOR A YEAR!
“ME?! What of course I am! But you, it’s you!” Louis pulled out of the hug still holding her shaking her and himself in an attempt to awaken him from any dreams.
“Of course it’s me you idiot!” A massive smile appeared on Louis face instantly and happiness formed in his eyes falling down his cheeks in a form of tears.
“How is this possible?” He shook his head still as if he couldn’t believe it.
“It’s a long story.” Emma sighed pulling out of Louis arms to see Louise behind him. “LOUISE!” She shouted grabbing Louise and pulling her close as they both squealed. Emma pulled out of the hug smiling but crying a lot trying to speak but she couldn’t only letting out a few words. “I just can’t believe it, you’re alive you’re real!” Louis hugged her rubbing her back looking at us confused.
“What happe…” Zayn began but Emma shot up suddenly searching.
“If you’re alive wait where is she?! Where is she?! Nessa and Malaikah got her out they did!” She frantically began searching heading for the corridors.
“Emma, Emma!” We shouted after her until Zayn finally caught her.
“She’s fine! They did she’s just with Harry.” Zayn assured her and she let out a sigh, I let Zayn explain where everyone was to Emma while moving over to Louis who stared shocked and unsure of what to do.
“Go get him, go get him now and get him down here as quick as you can.” I whispered and he instantly turned around a slipped out of the room before I could say anything else.
“Niall ring Eloise the girls need to know now they don’t deserve to think she’s dead anymore.” He followed Louis pulling his phone out giving me a quick nod but turning around just before going to put it to his ear.
“Wait what about Nessa?” I’d forgot about that problem, we were acting as if Nessa was with Eloise but she wasn’t she wasn’t with us anymore.
“She’s gone let’s just leave it at that for now.” Niall frowned but accepted with a quick nod.
I walked over to where Zayn had sat Emma down and passed her some water she seemed a bit shaky and nervous.
“So they’re alive, they’re fine?” She took the glass with her hand but could hardly keep it steady.
We nodded Zayn sat on her left and I pulled the foot rest in front of them for me to sit on. “Hey don’t be nervous it’s fine.” I held her hand steady that had the glass in and she smiled.
“I’m so glad you too are fine, I didn’t know if you got out, you too were the last thing I saw in that house.” Emma looked like she was trying really hard to remember closing her eyes to concentrate.
“What you saw us?” I asked noticing Niall walk back in smiling.
“Yeah you were shouting and running, I urm tried to shout to you to go for Louis but I wasn’t sure if you heard.”
She had seen us we had been so close to her, we should have seen her. “Excuse me.” I stood up walking into the open corridor.
I felt like I just needed to wake up and was waiting for the moment I did.
Was I dreaming?
Was I just waiting to be woken up?
I pulled my phone out and scrolled down through my contacts. If this was a dream or if this was reality being crazy then either way maybe it was time, time to ring her and tell the truth and stop faking.
My hovered thumb over the green phone waiting to dial the contact lit up which read in simple black letters ‘Nessa’.
I was about to press dial when a door opened behind me. “Is everything okay mate?” Zayn asked. I quickly placed my phone back in my pocket and just nodded at him returning with him back to the room. I would have to do it later.
We spoke for a while waiting for the others to return but every time someone asked Emma what had happened she would simply reply ‘long story’ but no matter how frustrating it was no one wanted to push her into it because well no one really knew what to do.
I smiled then hearing the door quietly open outside; we may not know what to do but the person who opened that door might.
I walked down the corridor holding onto Rosie’s hand ignoring Harry’s grunts and annoying comments knowing as soon as I opened that door he would stop, just like I did and just like everyone else did.
I ignored his mid sentence angry words and smiled opening the door to reveal everyone there from when I left all stood together, Emma in the middle.
“MUMMY!” Rosie shouted running forward within seconds towards Emma who collapsed down to the floor the second she heard the first letter.
I looked up at Harry who stood with his face like he was going to collapse, shocked was an understatement; he was too stunned to move.
I clutched her, my little baby girl. I never thought this would happen again, I never even knew if she was alive, where she was or sometimes if she was even real but now right in this moment I knew it was real everything was real.
I felt the tears falling but couldn’t care today my emotions were going crazier than a hormonal teenager. “Thank god I love you sososo much Rosie!” I whispered rubbing her hair repeatedly.
“I thought you were gone Mummy everyone said you had to go.” I looked at her, the small eyes with tears was enough to break my heart.
“Well I’m not and I never will be when you need me I’m here.” I smiled and she hugged me tight.
“I missed you mummy but I knew you’d come back, you said you would in my dreams.” I couldn’t control my sobs they were escaping my mouth freely.
“E…mm.a” I heard a stutter and my heart stopped, it was him.
I looked up instantly.
He was stood in the door way crying unsure of what to do, unsure if it was real.
I stood up slowly, he was there! I didn’t know honestly what to say I wanted to scream with joy and with shock but just couldn’t it wouldn’t come out.
“Emma where, what’s going on is it really you?” The sound of his voice made my brain and rambling kick in, it felt like my mind was realised…no not realised freeing in a way, I had felt trapped, not myself for so long and now I felt home, I felt like that girl a year ago, the one who I nearly forgot about.
“Of course it’s me you melon! It’s not going to be a ghost! I mean I know there was the fire and I was dead, but I’m not, I mean just, I’m breathing I have a pulse and I’m babbling because I just can’t control the emotions and how you’re there just stood there and now I’m wondering why the hell I’m not just with you and why I’m a babbling freak and just..” He cut me off with a small chuckle not caring about the small tear.
“Emma.” He spoke smiling.
“Yeah?” I asked taking a breath; we were steps away from each other now not even realising we’d moved closer and closer.
“I love you.” Just as the words left his mouth I felt my lips crush against his, I was safe, I was home.
She rambled nonstop her words hard to understand from her crying but I couldn’t care it was her, she hadn’t changed she was back.
I felt her smile a few seconds after our lips first attached her lips soft but firm, just how I remember except this felt like heaven after the year. “I love you so much Harry.” She whispered afterwards resting her forehead against mine I couldn’t help but smile the biggest smile that was possible.
I pulled her close to my chest not caring the others were around us just watching; to me it felt like it was just us now. I had no idea how she was here, where she had been or what was going on but I didn’t care just being with her was enough for me right now.
Her watered eyes dripped down onto my shoulder where she hid her head in the crook, wrapping her arms around my waist pulling me close to her while I did the same. I got a bit of a shock when I fully pulled her towards me at how skinny she was, I could feel her ribs against my chest and see the bumps of her spine at the back. I was in shock but the shock made me just want to hold her closer protect her small body more from whatever she had been through the past year.
“I’m never letting you go Emma, you’re with me now.” I whispered and all of a sudden she let out a sob that she had been holding in, a sob mixed with relief and happiness. This time I wasn’t letting anyone tear us apart, I promised on my life. I moved back keeping my arms around her waist but enough to see her face, her tired warn down eyes stared into mine they somehow showed so much life even though the dark bags around it tried to hide it.
“Please don’t” She gave me a small smile opened her mouth slightly. I pushed a piece of blonde hair back behind her ear and returned the smile feeling her grip me closer by scrunching the back of my t-shirt into balls slightly with the palms of her hands.
“Where have you…” I was stopped by a sudden shout behind me.
“WHAT THE HELL?!” The shriek could be heard on Mars I swear, I snapped my gaze around to see Eloise and Malaikah stood with mouths in the shape of ‘O’s staring at us and when I say us I mean Emma mostly.
“Haha Auntie Eloise’s mouth in very big.” Rosie chuckled down by my feet attracting my attention; she was sat in between our legs her arms wrapped around one of Emma’s long legs.
“ELOISE MALAIKAH!” Emma shouted letting go and running towards them hugging them both at the same time, Rosie had let go just before she ran forward but followed within seconds grabbing onto the outside of the huddle.
I smiled at the guys and Louise as if to speak to them through my eyes, they nodded and we all walked forward wrapping our arms around each other joining in with the huddle. I had never felt so at home in so long and so close to everyone.
I had missed it.
“Emma what the hell is going on?”
“Emma where have you been?”
“But you were dead, we all thought you were dead?”
“Wait I’m confused it was you in the fire right?”
“Are you sure you’re not a ghost?”
“Are you a Zombie?”
“How did you get out?”
These were just some of the questions being fired at me but I couldn’t answer them, I just didn’t know how or where to begin.
It felt so weird to be back with everyone, to smile again and to feel really loved. But there was someone missing and I didn’t know where she was. I had been questioning for a while now if to ask or not but in the end I just did.
“Urm where’s Nessa?” It went deadly quiet the second I asked, everyone finally went silent and looked over to Liam but he just looked nervously down.
“She doesn’t urm we haven’t seen her in months.” Zayn replied he did that movement where he rubbed the back on his neck when he thought it was awkward.
“What, why?!” I asked quickly, I had last seen her in the fire leaving with Rosie and Malaikah.
I was having a moment of panic; she made it out didn’t she? They said everyone made it out?
“It wasn’t meant to be.” Liam replied this time in a monotone. I sighed a quietly of relief she was still alive just not here. Liam didn’t look up just looked down at the phone in his lap, yes she was alive and he missed her.
I felt Harry pull me closer towards him, I had missed him so much and I hadn’t felt this feeling of just being close to someone like this in a long time. To be able to feel the warmth of someone you love and to be able to hold onto something else for support when you felt like you could collapse at any moment.
My thoughts seemed to ramble on while everyone was around me fussing and talking again some asking questions but I didn’t reply just nodded, I was thinking on how to tell them where to start. I looked at Liam again and at the exact same time he looked to me, I gave him a weak smile and mouthed to him ‘ring her’ he looked down once more passing the phone between palms in his hands, ‘later’ he mouthed back coming closer to sit next to us all.
“Emma sweet, I know you need to tell us in your own time but we’re all a bit confused.” Eloise pointed out, I looked down to Rosie I didn’t want her to hear any of it really I just wanted things to be normal for her from now on. She was breathing softly laying a cross mine and Harry’s lap fast asleep, she looked so beautiful asleep.
It was time, I would always have to tell them and delaying it would just make it worse. I wanted normal back and to get to normal I needed to get as far away from this past as I could.
“Okay well I will tell you what I remembered from the fire…” I took a deep breath and began; this was going to be a long story.
*Emma’s POV back at the fire*
I panicked looking around me; I just saw flames
everywhere, heat boiling my skin so much I felt like I was burning all over. I tried to cry for help searching around for someone or some sort of exit but I couldn’t see anything. Louis was back there he needed my help he needed me to get help or he would be dead.
I ran down what was left of the hallway covering my face with my arm coughing from the smoke, I stopped running, I couldn’t go any further I couldn’t move, I just wanted to give up and just stop. My legs felt weak, my eyes felt tired and I felt like my body just wanted to sleep and stop the pain striking through my chest or the burns on my body.
I held my hand against the wall trying to gasp for them last breaths for some more energy when I heard shouting in front of me, shouting of mine and Louis name. I looked up and saw just down the corridor in the distance Zayn and Liam struggling through the fire shouting.
“ZAYN LIAM!” I tried to shout but it was so hard, my throat felt so dry and the words could hardly be heard. “Please help me!” I tried to shout again but it came out more of a small whimper. They stopped looking around in search of me or Louis. “Please just save Louis PLEASE!” I pleaded trying to shake my arm in the direction of where I had just run from but they couldn’t see me, they couldn’t hear me.
I watched them leave through my watery eyes, run off and leave. My body couldn’t even stand anymore with my chest crying out in pain my lungs felt like they were burning now finally my legs just seemed to give way. I couldn’t do anything anymore, I couldn’t see anything anymore and I could just see darkness and feel the pain of everything around me. All I could do now was pray and hope it would be over soon.
I didn’t remember what happened next or most of the fire till many months later all I remembered was feeling a pair of arms pick me up and carry me before I fell unconscious finally giving in.
When I woke up I was in a white room, the room was clean and by the looks of the dry plain set out I was in a hospital. I moved my head around slightly only to be stopped by a voice from someone I hadn’t even realised was next to me.
I looked over and saw him, who was he? He looked familiar, but I didn’t know him. It was like when you walk down a street or something and you see a face that you recognise but you don’t who or where you know where from.
“Emma thank god.” He smiled at me taking my hand, I felt like I knew him inside.
“Where am I? Who, I’m sorry but who are you?” I asked and he looked down for a second covering his facial expression.
“It’s me Emma.” He looked up again staring deep into my eyes keeping eye contact that I instantly found a little intimidating. I couldn’t remember anything, what had happened, what was going on? “It’s me Sam do you remember me?” I closed my eyes and tried to remember but I just couldn’t nothing was coming to mind nothing, just a pounding headache.
“I’m sorry I don’t know you.” I replied, I felt like I should have removed my hand from his hold but the looks he was giving me with them large eyes just stopped me. Even though they felt intimidating they also looked inviting but I couldn’t tell which they looked more.
“It’s fine it’s not your fault.” He took a deep breath. “They said this might happen.” I looked at him confused before examining my surroundings more.
It looked like a hospital, the same white walls, the large doors with a small window and handle, in the middle a bed with a large curtain around it. It all looked like a hospital but something was telling me I wasn’t in a hospital. “Where am I? What’s going on?” I asked the boy who called himself Sam.
“You were in a fire babe, we’re not sure how it started but they think something was left in the oven, you were in the other room and when you found out it was too late but I managed to pull you out. I saved you.” He squeezed my hand and I smiled but for some reason I didn’t feel comfortable around him.
“Urm thank you but I’m still confused where am I and what urm how do I know you?” I was trying to remember something but nothing was there.
“You’re in a private hospital, I wasn’t having you treated any less than this and I’m your boyfriend Emma, we’ve been together for a year now.” I looked at him, he looked like he was telling the truth so why did I not believe him?
It was weird for a few months, I had chosen to accept what Sam had said but refused to ‘get back together’ with him till I remembered, it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t feel the same and I just really didn’t feel like I did. Sam would tell me he loved me but I would never reply the same just nod and smile. I could never lie or use those words lightly; they meant more in my eyes.
The hospital we stayed in was very unusual, it was a private hospital and I only ever saw one of patient which was an old woman, everyone else was a doctor or nurse but that was it and no one came to visit ever, I felt a bit alone to be honest. I didn’t remember anything apart from what Sam told me and well I felt unwanted.
I had asked Sam about my family but he told me I didn’t have any and that when I was a young age I had left them because I had fallen out with them not seeing them since. As for friends well apparently they didn’t exist either, it was just me and Sam and we travelled everywhere apparently.
How could I forget all this? None of it sounds like who I had woken up feeling.
“Are you okay this morning?” Sam asked me kissing my head, that’s the closest I would let him for now, a sly kiss on the cheek maybe but that’s it.
“Yeah, just a little stiff.” I replied rubbing my throbbing shoulder, my injuries were fairly bad but could have been worse; I didn’t really like to talk about them or show them to anyone. It was mostly burns, bad burns and a few broken bones but that was it. I was lucky.
I didn’t feel lucky.
“Okay well you’re staying in bed today again then.” I grunted, I was lazy always had been that I did know but I had been in bed for months resting I wanted to move, leave the house but I was apparently banned.
“Fine.” The second he was gone I would be out of this bed and off to find something to do today if he liked it or not. I looked outside to the normal Northern weather, raining and windy.
We had moved up north to a tiny village with about 5 houses in to get away from everything and to make sure I got full rest but I felt more like I was being held prisoner only having Sam to talk to. Yes I met a few of his mates sometimes but they weren’t really talkative, they just wanted to see and speak to Sam in private mostly.
“Okay well I’m off to work, I love you beautiful.” I felt him kiss my head and waited till he had left before I cringed. Why was a cringing?! I apparently was in love with this guy for year and he was gorgeous, the least I should be doing was cringing!
I threw my head back down on to the pillow letting an annoyed groan escape my lips since no one was around and I was once left alone in the eerie house. I rubbed both my tired eyes roughly with my palms, I had been laying here just doing nothing it this damn house for months now and yet I was still tired, warn down and confused.
I felt so hopeless and lost. I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes glisten slightly but swallowed it back down, I guess I was just lonely.
I tried to turn over but my body protested where the bandages covered the places I couldn’t bear to look yet after the reactions of some nurses who had redone them a few weeks ago. I didn’t want to see the ugly scares but I knew I would have to soon because even though I kept forgetting they were there when I laid here, each time I moved the slight stab of pain would remind me.
I had spent many restless nights here as well; I kept having dreams every night which I debated every morning if they could be real. They were dreams of me when I was younger, dreams of myself with friends, five single boys and sometimes one girl and sometimes four but every time if just one of them was there I would be happy.
Debating every morning was becoming annoying I just couldn’t tell if what I dreamt was real but every time I would try to forget and accept that it couldn’t be real the damn thoughts and images appeared back into my head. Them stupid smiles that made me just want to smile in return and them stupid moments that could make me laugh at the most random times just seemed impossible to me, they couldn’t possibly have happened and I couldn’t possibly been as close to them as I felt and still not be with them.
“It may not be true but it’s the only thing keeping you sane Emma.” I said out loud to myself closing my eyes tightly shut thinking back to last night and this morning’s half sleepy daydreams. Last night had focused on one of them five boys, the one who I felt closest too, who could give me butterflies with the smallest look and could make me feel on top of the world with a few words. He was the only one who could make me feel like that. It was unusual to say the least that deep down I constantly felt like he had to be real.
Stop. I needed to stop thinking like this, I couldn’t keep going on about the mysterious boy with the greenish blue eyes and continue wishing he was here and wanting him because he wasn’t here, he was all in my head and I couldn’t have these feelings towards him if there was Sam.
So why did I have such strong feelings towards the curly haired boy?
Why had I felt like I had never had this feeling before with anyone else but him?
Did I love him?
My head hurt, my body felt like it was burning. Everything felt pain from my heart feeling like it was exploding while my body was burning and my life was peeling away from me. I shouted I screamed but they never came, they never heard.
I was awoken by the front door being closed. “Hello” called Sam’s cheery voice I must have fallen half asleep. I opened my eyes but I physically could not move my mouth, I wasn’t sure if I had been dreaming of just deep thinking about was still replying in my head, I could not believe half the stuff my brain was screaming at me.
Sam came in smiling which finally made me look up. “Oh sorry did I wake you babe?” He asked crouching down as I looked at him confused. “Bless you look so confused, you’re still half asleep.” He cooed rubbing my head with each stroke sending a spine curling shiver down my back.
I stared at him blankly and nodded before speaking quietly. “I..urm.” I let my eyes act falling back to sleep hoping he would believe them.
“Okay you go to sleep I have some people coming over but we’ll just be in the other room.” He whispered to me kissing my head and leaving. I waited till I heard his footsteps disappear and for the first time in ages shot out of the covers. My head was pounding with panic too much to care about the instant pain on my burns, feeling rawer than ever with the memory still replying clearer than I could ever imagine.
I let out a breath that came out shaky and scared, I had remembered. Or well I thought I had, I had been getting flashes of every time from being with the boys, I don’t how it happened but I remembered everything. I remembered all the laughs, the tears of pride and happiness or the tears of pain from the moment I had met them to the last words I spoke to each of them.
I remembered them.
Louis Tomlinson, my cousin who felt like my brother and best friend. There for me when I needed him through the sad and happy times, my rock and shoulder to cry on, the only person who had been for me my whole life.
Niall Horan, the funny irish boy who was so loud you heard him before you saw him and whose laugh was more infectious than the plague.
Zayn Malik, the mysterious yet amazing boy who I could always rely on for advice and cheeky one liners, he had one of the warmest hearts.
Liam Payne, the sensible adorable one, who could fix nearly everything, he was wise but wild inside the cute one who would look out for everyone who mattered to him in the smallest way.
Eloise, my best friend since I was tiny with Louis, the girl who had been with me through every little emotion while I grew up, the girl who I knew no matter what I would be friends with forever because she was more than a sister to me.
Louise, the one who was just as mad as her boyfriend Louis, the one who could make me smile at the simplest of times.
Malaikah, she had one of the sweetest hearts, she was so innocent and sweet. I felt like she would never judge me.
Nessa, she was just like everyone, she made mistakes but she would do everything to try fixing them and just dreamed of helping everyone. She was one of the kindest people.
And then there was Harry Styles, I loved him, he was everything to me and I knew I didn’t tell him enough, he was one of my best friends, he made me feel loved and at home. He is sweet, kind, funny, caring and I couldn’t help but feel that being with him was all that mattered. He was the one I loved who I needed right now more than ever, I knew it. Plus he was one of the most important people to me as he was the father of my little girl.
Rosie, my sweet little Rosie, her life had been so confusing such a mess. She meant more to me than life and no one will ever understand that fully unless you’re a parent. I would sacrifice everything just to make her happy and now I don’t even know if she is alive all because of me, no, not because of me but because of him, that monster that was only meters away from me. I didn’t know if any of them were alive. I didn’t know fully if it was even real but it already felt more real than this life and if it wasn’t real then I don’t want to live this life.
I decided then what I was going to do, I was going to risk it by finding a way out or die trying.
Months had passed now, it had nearly been a year from when I had woken up and my life had got more and more mixed up.
I remembered the day when I had gone and confronted Sam, his exact reaction when I asked him if he knew anything and he had gone crazy, ‘you’re going mental, I thought you had been resting! Obviously not you’re imagining these crazy thoughts’ were his exact words but I could see in his eyes the lies. He may be able to lie with his mouth but the emotion and shock his eyes showed scared me the lack of truth in his instant reply.
Sometimes I questioned myself, maybe I was wrong, maybe it was just my imagination but then I thought how could this feeling be just from something you’ve thought up. It’s impossible to dream such a
complicated story, to dream up the feelings of caring for someone so much it hurts.
I did become rebellious though against Sam, I didn’t talk to him much and just stayed to myself. He knew the reason and I could see it scared him every time I would open my mouth to ask a question. I was stuck inside with the last time I had left the house being more of a distant memory than any of my past from a year ago, it seemed so long ago and you could tell by one look at me.
I pulled my hair back into a bun the roots of my badly dyed blonde hair that I had attempted to do with a kit from the local shop clearly failing.
Today was the day I thought to myself looking in the mirror, today was the day I had planned for months and months. Closing my eyes I could see them and with that image I knew I had to do whatever it took to get them back.
“I’m just popping to the shops Em.” Sam put his head round the door and I turned to smile at him. I had been putting the innocent act on for weeks and seemed to have gained his trust again but every time he locked the door when he left I would carry on planning and thinking of ways to get away from him.
I nodded and replied with ‘okay’ before pretending to re-do my hair complaining under my breath of it being such a mess today, Sam left with a chuckle as usual. I waited a few moments till I heard the lock click into place and saw his car drive off before I did anything.
Taking a deep breath I watched my chest move shakily in the mirror before dropping again, I could do this. I walked to the small fire place that Sam had used a few times at night but only to burn certain papers and items I was never allowed to see.
I reached out my hand and picked up the small match box which laid on top pulling out a match quickly before I could turn back. I hadn’t seen a flame since the fire and didn’t want to but it was the only thing I could think to do. I had emptied loads of paper which I had been stocking up and covering it with alcohol from various beers which I had managed to steal from the fridge over time. I checked myself over one last time to check none of the flammable liquid had got on me before lighting the match.
The flame looked ten times more intimidating than I had imagined, the golden yellow surrounded by dark orange letting of a warm deceiving heat off, my fingers shook with terror but I had to do this.
Letting my fingers relax and let go, the flame fell to the ground instantly catching fire to the items laid below. Watching it over took everything like a tide coming in the heat increased within seconds and just on time as I looked up the fire alarm went off setting the rest of the house off.
I covered my mouth and exited the room quickly, everything seemed to be shaking or spinning and I just felt like screaming. Trying to block out images of last time was becoming harder of the screams of pain, the tears, the helpless gasps as lungs burned filling with the toxic gases.
It didn’t take long, the alarms were loud and the smoke was escaping out the windows showing the obvious signs of fire, anyone near to the house or could see the house form the distant would be able to see.
“EMMA!” I heard him shout bursting through the door.
“SAM!” I shouted from where I was stood in the kitchen staring at the door I had just escaped from.
“Emma, oh my god get out now!” Sam came rushing in grabbing on to my arms but I shook him in protest.
“NO! I will not leave! Face it Sam this was the only way to alert them to come get me, to find you for what you did!” I shouted back trying to make my voice louder than the sounds of breaking glass from the other room.
“You will leave now!” He shouted grabbing onto my arms trying to pull me away but I could already hear the sirens, it was working.
Smiling I spoke again. “No I’m not leaving or be going anywhere with you Sam, I will wait and I will wait till I burn before I go with you!” The thought of being saved of someone from a near by house or village ringing for help and then finally it coming gave me a boost of adrenaline I had never felt before making me feel invincible and drunk with the crazy thoughts. I no longer cared if I died now, I was no longer scared because I knew that if I did I would be saved either way from Sam and I wouldn’t have to go through with being near him anymore.
“I saved you from that fire.” He snarled back finally stopping from pulling at my arm.
“You also started that fire and only did it because of guilt and obsession!” His face was angry sweat dripping down from it hearing my words his attempts at stopping them by shaking his head failing. I heard the sirens outside pulling up. “It’s over Sam, it’s all over now.” I spoke softly.
“I hate you Emma.” He whispered. “I should have never saved you.” They were the last words I heard him say before firemen rushed through the doors fighting their way through the flames which were now breaking in.
The next thing I knew I was being carried out by a man in a protective yellow outfit. “It’s okay miss you’re out now.” He whispered while I coughed. “Wait you’re Emma Tomlinson!” I heard him gasp and I laughed as the realisation hit me, it wasn’t just my imagination.
I rubbed the smoke from my eyes and saw police rushing all around a fireman instantly directing the guy who looked in charge over to me. His reaction once again confirmed to me I had been missing and now I was found.
“Well I never!” Said the police officer kneeling down next to me, he turned around and took a few looks before shouting orders. I watched them take him away, took him out of my life for good. “I don’t know quite what has happened Miss Tomlinson but my name is Officer Keenly I’ve been working on your case since the day of the first fire and I can honestly say I never thought I would see this day.” I gave the officer a weak smile.
“Thank you but please can you take me home.” I just wanted to go home now the image of my friends becoming the only thing I could think about right now, not the fact I was just in a fire or that I was shocking everyone but the fact I would be home soon and be able to see them and really prove it wasn’t just a dream.
“Of course, you’ve been very much missed Emma and I can promise to you that you are safe now.”
“And that’s when I came back here, I came home.” I had been looking down playing with my fingers in my lap not wanting to see their expressions when I spoke but knew I had to look up, I just couldn’t bring myself to, what if they felt disappointed in me that I had forgotten them, what if they felt I had been horrible to them for not getting out quicker and somehow telling someone I was alive and what if they just didn’t want me anymore.
I closed my eyes trying not to think of the what ifs just concentrate on the movements of my fingers intertwining random ones and then unwinding, my longs nails catching on my skin as I did it a bit quicker. I stopped the small distraction when I felt the touch of someone else’s fingers rest on top of both my hands.
I opened my eyes to see the large hand covering mine, the signature bracelets he always wore on his wrist told me who it was but I had already known before I opened my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I whispered finally looking up to the sad tear stained faces that looked stunned with shock.
A sudden grip on side of my cheek and under my chin pulling my face up made me finally look at the person who still held my hands with one of his. “No, don’t ever say that word about this; you have nothing to be sorry for Emma. You’ve been so brave and you didn’t deserve any of what you’ve been through. I’m so sorry Emma.” He looked at me with them green weak eyes one hundred times more comforting than the ones I had been made to see every day for a year. “I will promise you as well, you will never go through anything like that ever again.” I smiled at him unsure of what to say yet. I parted my lip to speak until a hand on my shoulder stopped me.
Louis stood looking down with everyone else around nodding in agreement. “Thank you everyone.” Was all I finally could say I didn’t know what else to say, could this all be really happening? Could it all be real? Was I finally home?
“Yes you’re home Emma.” Harry whispered into my ear as if he was reading my thoughts. I looked up making our eyes meet seeing his full of such a mixture of emotions including upset, relief and the slight show of anger and pain which was being covered by the rest but they also showed love, the exact same love I felt every day.
It was all real.
Months past and things were a bit up and down and left and right. I had been told to keep my cover low for a while with the guys. The news had just blown up about my story and return. Sam had been given life in prison and we had been assured that we would never see him again except he was in our heads most of the time meaning we still had to live with him.
The boys still remained on their break until everything was back to normal and I felt it was again. Everyone was back closer than ever again still living in separate apartments but usually sleeping over in each others, except Nessa was still not there even though I had badgered Liam every day since I returned, telling him to ring her as he was the only one with her number and address.
Even though most things seemed to be getting back to normal it never was, there was always something like the times where I would wake up alone..
I felt to my right searching for Harry’s chest to cuddle to for warmth but was only met with the light material of bed sheets. I opened my eyes to see the empty side of the bed leaving me alone in the darkness.
I could feel my eyebrows knotting together, this had happened before where he would get up in the middle of the night after endless hours of turning and just go into the living room to watch TV and keep himself distracted till he fell asleep and I would normally wake up go turn the TV off and cuddle next to him on the chair except this time I couldn’t hear the slow murmur of the TV or soft snores outside our bedroom door, this time I heard voices sometimes going loud then a shush from another.
I pulled Harry’s long jumper that I always slept in tighter around me walking out quietly trying my best not to make any noise, the lightly dim corridor helped me see my way without walking into various pieces of furniture.
I peaked in to check on Rosie in her room as I passed, seeing her fast asleep curled up in her large single bed always made me smile and as usual she was smiling as she slept. I closed her door quietly and tip toed towards where the voices became more and more clear.
I kept my distance standing away from the door enough to creep off quickly if needed. The voices became easier to hear now and I could make out just that it was Harry and Louis both deep in a heart to heart about something.
I pushed my blonde hair behind my ears so I could get a clearer listen. “I don’t know what’s wrong Louis, I just can’t sleep knowing about everything she has been through. I mean I don’t even know fully what she has been through, I feel like sometimes she doesn’t tell me everything or as if she wants to hide and I can’t tell if it’s my fault!” Harry was crying his sobs making that clear.
“Hey shh it’s okay, Harry none of this is your fault don’t ever say that!” I nodded along as I listened to Louis speak in agreement to what I was thinking. “What do you mean you feel like she is hiding?”
“Just look at her Louis! I feel her quiver or flinch when ever I go to pull her close, I don’t feel like I can cuddle her the same keep her close, I feel like she doesn’t want me to. It’s been months since she came home now and it’s still not the same, we haven’t even been properly urm intimate or anything because I feel like she doesn’t want me to touch her anymore! I mean what if she doesn’t love me anymore or the thought of me scares her? What do I do Louis?” I heard his sobs become muffled and the sound of Louis comforting him as he cried onto his shoulder.
I reached up and touched my face feeling the slight drips of water fall down my cheek. I didn’t realise I had made him think it was his fault; none of it was his fault! I turned around quickly walking back to our bedroom covering my mouth with my arm to hide any sudden loud breathing from the incoming tears.
I walked straight to our en-suit bathroom locking myself inside before I flicked the light on instantly making myself visible in the mirror. I took a long look holding back the tears, I needed to do this not for myself but for Harry.
Closing my eyes I peeled off Harry’s jumper and the long sleeve t-shirt I wore underneath till I was left stood in my bra and pyjama shorts. My breathing was deep preparing myself to see a sight I hadn’t seen for months and months. I opened my eyes and gasped at the sight the tears I had managed to hold back instantly falling.
I had my bandages taken off a month or something ago and hadn’t been able to look at my new scars from the fire knowing how ugly they were but right now looking at them they felt and looked uglier than I had ever imagined to me.
This was the reason I couldn’t let Harry touch me, I couldn’t let him or anyone else see me like this it was too horrible and brought back to many memories. I put the jumper and shirt back on quickly returning to my bed, what was I going to do, I couldn’t let Harry feel the way he did but I couldn’t tell him or let him see them.
When I woke up in the morning Harry was back in the bed next to me his arm was gently resting on my side but his body was separated form mine. His hand lay as if it was afraid to touch me but desperately wanted to. Swallowing back the thoughts of last night I climbed out of my bed thinking for a second, there was something else though that still was trying to climb back to the front of my brain that I had thought of early in the night but hadn’t been awake enough to write it down.
That was my method of fully remembering as I still remembered little bits from time to time but this one was important and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t wrote it down. I hit my head with my hand as I stood up and then it hit me it all hit me and I was thankful I could still remember it.
I quickly left not getting any other shoes on apart from Louis moose slippers which I had stolen. If I was right everyone was meant to be stayed at Liam’s last night after our night in except me and Harry who had gone home early. I knocked on the door until Malaikah lazily answering the door. “Oh hey Emma what are you doing here?” She asked still a bit sleepy and tired.
“Is Eloise or Niall here?” I asked not really waiting for an answer and just rushing in.
“Urm yeah they’ve just woken up I think, why?” She asked but I didn’t reply just rushed past her nearly colliding into Liam.
“Whoa Emma where did you come from?” He asked making sure he hadn’t spilt his drink down himself. “And why are you so happy?” He laughed but I ignored him to just running past him into the spare room which Niall and Eloise usually slept in when staying at Liam’s.
I didn’t knock just burst in grinning catching them both by surprise as they looked up at me with stunned expressions. “Emma what the hell?!” Niall asked sleepily.
“I remember the day with the fire you two had your anniversary!” I sang the word anniversary and both of them blushed trying to stop their smiles revealing it all. “Oh my god, I remembered correct it did happen you gave her it Niall!” I jumped on them both before they could say anything hugging them and screaming.
“Why is there screaming?!” I heard a mutter down the hall before Louis, Liam and Malaikah stood in the door way. I couldn’t look Louis in the eye after last night and right now just wanted to find out what had happened over a year ago.
“Urm just give us a second please.” Niall replied to the others nudging Eloise in an attempt to wake her up from the sleep she was falling back into.
They just stood waiting, staring and more staring, Louise and Zayn coming to see what was going on now. “Hey, he said bugger off!” I joked walking to the door and pushing them out before shutting it.
I couldn’t help it I squealed the second I turned around. “WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SOONER?!” I jumped a little lighter this time waking Eloise up fully now. My mood had changed so much I had gone from down and upset after last night to excited and with so much adrenaline I felt like I could jump through the roof.
“Well we urm haven’t told anyone..”
There was silence.
My jaw was just now hanging on just above the ground dangling there, I could only say or shout one word. “WHY?!”
They did a slight glance to each other. “Because well there hasn’t been a right time, we were going to say and show people after everyone had kind of gotten a bit more back to normal after the accident but they just never did.” I felt guilty all of a sudden; they hadn’t said anything because of the accident, because everyone changed and had fallen apart after it. “And Eloise didn’t feel she was ready without you.” The guilt from everyone from last night to this was piling up so much now.
“Oh…” I said looking down; the realisation was hitting me a bit of how everything had been while I was gone. I knew it had been bad but was it really that bad was everyone still struggling so much it felt like they couldn’t tell anyone. I felt a touch on my arm and looked up to see Eloise sat in front of me eyes sparkling reflecting a layer of water.
“Hey don’t say oh, you’re back now and I can finally do it.” Her words kept going from high to low breaking slightly. “I guess something didn’t feel right without you being there and I felt like something wasn’t right like you weren’t gone and look now we can carry on we can do this, I’ve got my best friend back. It’s a dream come true isn’t it?”
I pulled her into a hug a really tight one; I just don’t know how I could ever live without this girl. “You’re right, you need to tell everyone!” Eloise looked at Niall and they both nodded. It all felt like a dream a happy one, I did need to do everything I could to fix the broken missing pieces and this was perfect, this was the beginning of a new start.
The door flung open with a huge bang causing us to scream. “Oww” a chorus of moans came from the pile of friends lying on top of each other.
“Zayn I told you we would fall if Louis got on your shoulders!” Malaikah rubbed her head standing up from where she was sprawled out onto of Louise and Zayn.
“Urm guys ever heard of a private conversation?” Niall asked laughing.
“No not really, so care to share what we couldn’t hear properly?” Louis stood up brushing himself down and helping Louise up off the floor; I didn’t look at him while he spoke I already felt guilty enough.
“Well I guess we should is everyone here?” Eloise asked crawling to the edge of the bed to climb out putting her long brown hair in a bun.
“Everyone apart from…”
“EMMA!” A call came down the hallway.
“…Harry.” Liam finished his sentence waiting for Harry to come rushing through.
“Guys! Is she here is- thank god!” Harry sighed appearing in the doorway with Rosie on his back still sleepily rubbing her eyes.
“Sorry Harry I forgot to leave you a note and I needed to check something with these guys really quickly.” I apologised, I couldn’t help but notice his eyes were slightly puffy from crying last night and the bags underneath showed he had been up longer than I had thought.
“Oh okay well what is it?” Everyone nodded with the question directing it at me until I turned to face the couple blushing and smiling under the blankets.
“Well Eloise and Niall have something they should tell you.” I gave them both a smile before walking over to where the others were stood, standing close to Harry taking Rosie off his back and giving him a warm smile, he was right I hadn’t realised till now but it did feel odd after such a long time.
Zayn suddenly gasped with a slight bit of a girly scream. “NO WAY!” Everyone turned to the stuttering boy as he struggled to get his words out. “YOU’RE PREGNANT!” Everyone’s mouths dropped including mine and Niall who had to turn to Eloise to check if he was right even though we knew the true answer.
“NO! Not yet you idiot! God, are you going to shout that at me every time I say I have something to say to you Zayn.” Eloise replied causing a sigh to come out of everyone’s mouths as they realised a breath they held back.
“Come on guys! Tell us I want breakfast!” Louise moaned receiving a hit on the arm from Malaikah.
“Well we should have told you sooner but the time wasn’t right because of everything..”
“Spit it out you fools!” I laughed jumping slightly in excitement.
“Well on the night it all happened with the fire it was mine and Niall’s anniversary thing and well Niall gave me something.” Niall rooted in the drawers next to him keeping his hands tightly around the object help in his hands as he passed it to Eloise under the blankets out of sight. Eloise struggled under the sheets before bringing her hand out. “He gave me this.”
“Zayn will you stop squealing in my damn ear!” Liam shouted at the ecstatic boy as everyone gasped staring at the large diamond ring sat on Eloise’s finger.
“You’re getting married!” Malaikah squealed the first to run forward wrapping her arms around Eloise tightly as she laughed with joy.
I laughed and let my mouth pull into a huge grin seeing how happy my friends were with the guys congratulating Niall with a pat on the back and hugs all around. It made me feel normal and at home again. “Sparkly ring!” Rosie clapped her hands together pointing to the ring on Eloise’s finger as she sat on my hip. I laughed at her stepping forward to see the ring closer since I hadn’t seen it since the day Niall had showed me but when I stepped forward I collided with someone.
“Opps sorry.” He apologised stepping backwards after just coming out of a hug with Eloise. “Oh you alright Emma?” Louis looked deep in my eyes asking for more than just a normal small talk question, he meant about everything. I smiled and nodded stepping around him, no we wanted normal, we have to get back to normal.
A few weeks past and Eloise and Niall were deep into wedding plans or well they finally showed us all the plans they had already made. They had been making plans the whole time and had a big idea of everything; they had even been over to Ireland to see venues as Niall wished to get married in his home town.
Eloise had asked me to be Maid Of Honour a few days after they had told everyone and of course I said yes, we had always planned to be each other’s Maid Of Honour since we were tiny and now it was getting so much closer to the real thing.
Everything was happening so quickly and just when I thought it couldn’t get more complicated it did again.
I was thinking everything that had happened in them few minutes that had just gone as I ran letting my legs feel disconnected from my body. I thought of how we had gone to try wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses on how I had been dreading it every second.
I thought about how Harry saying good bye before walking off with the others to find Niall a suit in a store down the road with Eloise instructing Liam to make sure he didn’t pick something stupid.
He had come over to me from his conversation with Zayn as Liam got instructions from Eloise and Niall joked with Louis. “I’ll see you later babe then yeah.” Harry came to my side moving into a kiss which I accepted but pulled away a bit too quickly causing his face to drop within seconds. “Oh I give up.” He muttered turning away, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to kiss him I mean right then I couldn’t have wanted anything more but I felt like I was going to be sick with nerves.
I watched as he joined Louis whispered something into his ear not looking back once at me but Louis did, giving me that sympathetic look while patting Harry on the back following a bobbing Niall. I thought of how I had repeatedly banged my head against a wall following the girls into the small wedding shop to be met by an overly cheery women showing us where the dresses where.
It all happened so fast I just grabbed a dress and went into the dressing room quickly undressing and putting the dress on only to break down once again at the sight in my reflection, the dress showing the horrible marks all over my arm and shoulder. I closed my mouth shut and stared biting my lip to stop the tears with my bottom lips quivering under my teeth. How could I go down the aisle next to my beautiful best friend when my skin looked like this, showing off my hideous burn? How could I even walk out there and show them for the first time? I just couldn’t.
Next thing I knew I was pulling the dress off as soon as I could and running. Just running ignoring Louise’s questions and shouts as I collided into her nearly knocking her over before leaving the store and now here I was shaking my head in frustration to block out any more thoughts just wanting to run and run.
My breaths short and heavy while I ran up the stairs my legs only stopping running when I came to the door of mine and Harry’s apartment, my heart was still beating so hard it felt like it was going to fall out of my chest with every pump I seemed to rush more.
Unlocking the door I slammed it shut and locked it behind me only stopping to relax when I knew it was defiantly locked and I was alone. I slide down the door crying into the palms of my hands, I had probably left everyone wondering where I was, left them worrying but that was just another problem or feeling of guilt I felt.
I just couldn’t stop imagining his reaction, how he would probably gasp in shock, maybe cry as he said he couldn’t bring himself to touch me anymore, how could I ever let Harry or anyone else see what I had been hiding behind the clothes, behind my smile.
I pulled myself off the floor walking to the bathroom pulling the layers of clothes off just outside the door till I was just in my bottoms and bra before once again closing my eyes and opening the door and walking in front of the large intimidating mirror.
When I opened them I just watched as what I saw blurred more from an increase in tears matched with a loud sob. The purple bruising travelled along the edges of the red dark marks that made patterns along my shoulder and arm. They looked like the fire was still on them, still burning through the skin.
I heard a gasp behind me causing me to scream grabbing a nearby towel in an attempt to cover myself but it was too late they had seen. I turned around panicking trying to wrap the towel around myself to see Louis stood in the door way, his mouth wide open unsure of what to say. I didn’t know what to say either, he had seen it.
One step after another Louis stepped forward not speaking a word, not blinking once and not breaking eye contact. He put a delicate hand on the towel giving me a reassuring look with his eyes as I let the grip go on the towel, this time he bit his lip to hide his gasp pulling his eyes away from mine to stare at the fire’s masterpiece, running his long finger delicately over the edges.
Louis looked up and I could see now he was crying, silently water fell from his eyes but from a blank expression, he looked sympathetic, slightly angry and sad but comforting. Giving me one last look he took a step back grabbing onto the back of his t-shirt pulling it off in one swift movement and then turning around to reveal a set of burns running across his back similar to mine except less and slightly fainter now but they could still quite obviously be seen. The fire had left its mark on him as well.
“Louis I’m so sorry.” I copied his actions from earlier running my hands along his marks this time instead.
“Hey don’t be, none of this was your fault.” He turned around to face me now, I didn’t reply just looked down. “Look at me.” He ordered lifting my chin up with the tip of his finger. “None of this is your fault, I understand everything Emma. I know what’s been happening with Harry and now I get why you won’t let him you know.” I blushed slightly. “But Emma you mustn’t worry, yes he will be shocked just like me but he won’t care because it’s still you and all that matters to him and the rest of us is that you’re alive.”
“How would he not care, look how big it looks on me! Just today trying on a bridesmaids dress I knew I would have to bring it out on El’s wedding day, how could I walk down the aisle with that on my shoulder and arm?!”
“How could you not?” He asked so simply as if it was obvious. “And Harry will not care trust me, I know it’s hard I was worried at first but everyone is okay with it now and I’m healing. I know they bring back bad memories and are a reminder but you’ve just got to look past that and remember what’s inside.” I didn’t know what to say, I just stared blankly at him. “Here you’re going to get a cold or something half dressed!” I let Louis lift my arms up and place his large stripped shirt over my arms and head covering me up again.
A slam of the door from the front of the house made me jump matched with loud quick steps. “EMMA, EMMA ARE YOU HERE?!” Harry’s loud panicking voice echoed through the house creating a sudden feeling of nerves in my stomach.
“Just tell him, trust me.” Louis gave me a quick hug and reassuring smile before turning to the door and shouting to Harry. “She’s in here with me mate, don’t panic!”
A/N There is bits with songs that I thought would go with this part so I have put links where needed.
My eyes stared wide trying to concentrate on my breathing. Louis looked so calm, as if it was so simple, so easy. He looked down taking both of my shaking hands putting them together in his palms and giving them a comforting kiss in an attempt to calm them. “Just remember he loves you and always will.”
I tried to lodge them words in my head, repeating them over and over again thinking of only them but I couldn’t. I could hear the blood racing around my body causing my ears to pulse while Harry’s footsteps got faster rushing down the corridor getting louder with each step, till he came to the door.
“Thank..god.” Harry said taking a deep breath between the words mixed with a sigh of relief or a breath he had been holding in. His eyes were wet along with his cheeks as they snapped from my face to Louis’ then back again before looking down at Louis’ shirt hanging off my shaking body leaving Louis’ shirtless. “What on earth is happening? What’s wrong?” His eyebrows knotted together creating creases in his forehead while he looked to see my hands still shaking in Louis’ hold.
“I’ll give you a few minutes, remember it’s okay Emma, he will understand no matter what.” Louis whispered to me but it was loud enough for Harry to hear before he left, leaving us alone. Harry looked confused, slightly panicking and stuttering trying to decide if he should take Louis place of comfort or wait. He looked at my eyes and his decision was made, he took my hands pulling me towards him before pulling me into his strong hold, his arms snaking around me rubbing the back of my head.
“What’s wrong Emma? Is this about this morning before we both went our separate ways? Because if it is I’m sorry it’s just I don’t know what I’ve done wrong I just-.”
“Harry” I said silencing him moving back from his hold. “Yes it is about this morning but I know why you acted like that and I know things haven’t been great recently with everything. I know I haven’t really been honest with you, I haven’t been the same but there is a reason and none of it is your fault! No matter what, none of it is ever your fault! It’s me who should be saying sorry for not telling you but you have to understand I was just afraid, I still am but Louis said I-“
“Emma you’re worrying me now. Just please tell me.” He looked anxious and confused trying to figure out what I had been telling Louis just before he had arrived, why I was wearing his shirt and why I was acting this way?
I took a deep breath holding it and letting it shaking out my mouth slowly stepping completely out of Harry’s hold. All the worries were rushing through my head, would he run? Would he cry? Would he be mad at me? Would he refuse to touch me? I tried not to think of the thoughts just closed my eyes. “I’m just going to show you Harry.” I took hold of the hem of my T-shirt in my hands and raised it slowly above my head dropping it on the floor next to me and turning around quickly. He didn’t speak but I heard it, the small quiet half cry/half gasp of shock making the tear drop from my tightly closed eyes; he thought it was horrible, he must.
“Oh Emma..” He spoke softly coming forward and running his hand down it just like Louis hand, tracing the new bumps and ripples in my skin. I let a simple cry fall from my lips opening my eyes and searching the floor for my shirt but all I could see was the blurry tiles. I just wanted to cover up now before he told me how bad it looked. I blinked madly trying to stop them until I felt Harry’s arms wrap tightly around my waste pulling me towards him and making my body go limp. He put his head in the crook of my neck kissing me once then leaving a trail down my neck of soft kisses, all the way along the scars as if to kiss it better.
It felt like it was actually getting better, it felt like with each kiss a worry left me and comfort filled me but the tears still fell silently.
“Emma you are beautiful, you always have been before and after the fire. These lines have changed nothing for me, you are still the same Emma I love no matter what has changed on the outside and to me you are still as beautiful as ever, even more day by day. Is this what you’ve been hiding from me? Is this why you haven’t let me touch you or showed me? Where you honestly that worried?” I couldn’t say anything I just nod, I felt sort of silly but relieved yet still somewhat panicky.
I couldn’t say anything just nod squeezing my eyes tight shut to try stop the tears and biting on my tongue to stop the sob building up in my throat.
“Oh Emma you have nothing to be ashamed of, I will love you no matter what, this changes nothing about what I think of you. To me you’re more beautiful day by day because well each day I can’t help but fall more in love with you no matter what you do or show me.” He gave me a weak small smile turning me around to face him. “Don’t cry now, it’s going to be alright, now look at me.” I opened my eyes and let him whip the tears off my cheeks. “I love you no matter what.”
I couldn’t help let my mouth curve up into a grin making his do the same. “Thank you Harry, I really love you more than I can ever say.” For the first time since the accident I felt more than safe, I felt normal, I felt like nothing could destroy me anymore, I felt love again. Stroking my cheek whipping away the final tear he gave me one last grin before pulling me closer than he ever had before and kissing me, the first real true kiss filled with so much feeling you did not have to say anything to tell he felt the same.
*A few months later*
It was the big day; Eloise was finally getting married to Niall. After showing Harry and seeing his reaction I didn’t feel so self conscious about my scars and showed the others that very day with Harry and Louis’ support both stood by my side. Just like Harry and Louis they had been supportive and said it didn’t change the way they thought about me, the only difference was they were a bit unable to hide their shock when they saw it but quickly recovered.
Eloise said she didn’t care about the scars and no matter what wanted me at the wedding but I said I wanted to wear a dress with sleeves to the elbow of lace and make-up to hide the scars for the pictures even though I had brought it out in public just after my friends and family had found out.
“Are you ready?” I whispered to her taking her hands in mine, her breath was shaky and I could see the tears building up in her eyes. “Now don’t you dare ruin that make-up, it’s not going to look good a bride with mascara stains on her cheeks is it?” Eloise let out a small laugh blinking them away.
“Thank you so much Emma, you’ve made everything I could ever dream of happen by helping with the wedding, getting it all perfect and just thank you for coming home.” My eyes were welling up now but I refused to cry.
“Hey now no need to thank me, I’m just doing my job as a best friend.”
“No you’ve been the bestest best friend I could ever have and I’m so happy I have you in my life.” I gave her a tight hug then I couldn’t hold in back, we had been through everything together and now it felt in a way as if I was passing her on. “Don’t ever leave me again please.”
“I promise I will never be far away ever again, I love you El.”
“I love you too.” She smiled at me and then looked behind me to her five bridesmaids including the tiny Rosie and someone I had brought back for Eloise and well everyone today.
“Ready sweetie?” Eloise’s dad asked taking her arm in his and heading to the large church doors with the long aisle hidden behind it. The door was like an arch covered in single white roses delicately placed around the door frame. It was time.
I could hear the quiet music playing behind the doors and the sound of close family and friends stand up as we all took our places behind Eloise with me at the front holding onto Rosie’s hand, her clutching a small basket of rose petals in her hands ready to sprinkle while behind me the other girls stood grinning in similar outfits to mine except theirs didn’t have the sleeves on.
Eloise took a deep breath looking back once more at us all before turning back to see the large doors open making the sound of the piano echo loudly against our ears. It looked perfect.
Eloise floated nearly down the aisle not looking at the teary faces of family and friends once, only keeping her eyes straight on her soon to be husband dressed in a simple black suit with a white rose on it, he looked extremely handsome. Stood next to him were his five best men dressed in similar suits all grinning at us. My smile seemed to grow when I saw Harry stood in-between Liam and Louis in his black suit with a huge grin placed firmly on his face.
Most people couldn’t help stare at Eloise though, she looked stunning with her traditional white dress falling elegantly off her body her hair curled and pinned up and her make-up done so delicately it made her look alive and bright like an angel flying through the room. I couldn’t help chuckle at the many faces with Niall at the front his jaw dropping slightly. There was also one more face that made everything seem even better as he made eye contact with the girl behind me.
Liam’s poor face looked like a child on Christmas day getting that unexpected huge present. I looked back and saw her stood behind me grinning back at him as Liam’s lips mouthed the words ‘how?’ With a small nod of the head in my direction from Nessa Liam seemed to understand everything shaking his head but looking the second happiest guy in the room after Niall. I had found Nessa for him and just like I thought both of them needed and wanted each other, just both were scared to admit it.
The setting was beautiful, it was a traditional grand church that had been decorated just how Eloise had wanted it down to the last flower with them all being roses white with some red. She said she and Niall wanted that because it was calm and delicate and since Eloise’s middle name was Rose it fitted well.
But I thought it meant more than that, maybe I was over looking things but I always thought El was a bit like a Rose; always came back, could be as delicate as snow with white petals or red and fiery as blood, always beautiful, a token of love but also had those strong spikes to fight of the unwanted. Eloise was a Rose deep down and right now in the middle of it all is her white dress with it’s long delicate trail making her look like the angel of the roses.
Niall took Eloise hands in his, their eyes not separating once as the music stopped and the priest began to speak. I could only stare and watch two of my best friends on the happiest day of their lives while all the people they care about watched with the same face as me. I looked away for one second picking Rosie up in my arms and looking over to Harry who was grinning at me. “You both look amazing.” He whispered making me blush and thank him before turning back just as the priest said “I now pronounce you husband and wife, Niall James Horan you may now kiss the bride.” And with that they kissed and the whole church erupted into cheers.
This was the start of something new, something happy, this was the beginning of something great.
(stop first song and start new song)
The air was cold around me as I held Rosie out on the balcony. We were at the reception and once again everything was perfect, everyone was dancing the night away some much drunker than others but that didn’t matter tonight, because everyone for once felt right.
The day had been long and with Rosie being part of nearly every second the tiredness had finally caught her up. While the music echoed through the closed balcony doors I could hear the laughter of everyone inside matched with singing and cheers every now and again.
It was freezing tonight, winter was defiantly getting closer and the days went on, the frost now resting on the ground. “Urm Emma.” I jumped slightly at the sound of Liam’s voice never even hearing him come out.
“Oh hi Liam I never heard you come out here.” I gave a small laugh as I spoke. “What’s up?” I tucked Rosie under my chin wrapping the blanket I had brought out for her.
“I just wanted to say thank you for everything, for bringing Nessa back to me, for everything you ever helped me with. You’ve done a great job helping Eloise and Niall today and I think everything is going to be great now.” He looked off in the distance slightly nodding and smiling to himself.
“I’m glad she is back Liam, you both just needed a bit of a nudge.” I gave him a wink and he laughed slightly creating clouds with his breath.
“You should get inside it’s getting cold.” He replied motioning with his hand to his breath.
“Soon, just go back and find Nessa for now, I’ll be there in a second.” He nodded in reply and headed back into the party.
I felt it then, something white delicately touching my nose from above; snow. I gasped and looked up noticing more and more flakes fall from the sky like feathers. “Wow.” I whispered under my breath looking up.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it.” This time I did not jump, that voice did nothing but calm me and make me happy when he spoke.
“It’s amazing.” I blinked as one landed on my eye lashes as I turned to face Harry who already had bits of white on his suit and hair.
“Just like you.” I laughed at his cheesy line letting him step closer to me. “I mean it though Emma, you’re amazing and I know I want to be with you forever, I don’t think I ever want to be apart from you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you just like Niall and Eloise.”
“Harr-.” I began only to be stopped by a gasp when he knelt down on the cold snow on one knee.
“Emma I know we’ve had our ups and downs but I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I know I want this more than anything, I want you and my beautiful baby girl forever, so Emma Tomlinson will you do the honour of becoming my wife.”
It was romantic, a bit cheesy but romantic and also to me nearly perfect..but now was not the time. “No.” I spoke softly and Harry’s face instantly dropped. “Well yes, but not now.” He looked confused unsure of what to say. “I will marry you one day Harry, one day very soon but I think we should wait a few months before I say yes, let everything quieten down and settle and then we can finally settle down. I want nothing more than to marry you Harry but right now is perfect and I never want to rush perfect moments anymore.” The confusion and sadness had gone now he just smiled a huge smile at me.
“You’re right and we will get married soon but you’re right we need to treasure every moment forever. I love you Emma, forever no matter what.”
“I love you too Harry.” His arms instantly wrapped around me careful not to hurt Rosie lying sweet in my arms.
“What’s going on?” Rosie squeaked from between us in a quiet voice.
“Nothing beautiful, just the start of something perfect, I love you both so much.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen Harry this happy and I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. We stood still hugging for ages till I felt Harry take my hand from behind him and tap my forth finger on my left arm whispering into my ear. “A tap of promise instead of a ring, I will marry you one day Emma Tomlinson.” I couldn’t help but grin thinking of the future. He stepped back and spoke to us both now. “Now come on we can sort everything out later, but right now it’s too cold outside for the angels to fly.”
I laughed slightly pulling away holding Harry’s gaze and smile. My life may not have been perfect, it may not have been easy but now looking and Harry and feeling the two most important people in the world next to me just made me realise that no matter how much it hurt, how hard it was or what has happened, it was all worth it because now…
Life was perfect.
FINISHED - THE END
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